


Show Me How You Burlesque

by flareprincess



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Age Play, Cis Lesban AU, D slur, Dirty Talk, F/F, Homophobia, Humiliation, Impact Play, Internalized Homophobia, Masturbation, Mentions of past abuse, Mommy Domme, Mommy Kink, Objectification, Praise Kink, Restraint, Scratching, Slight Age Regression, Spanking, age gap, brat/brat tamer dynamic, cg/l ish?, mdlg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-02-04 14:42:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 63,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flareprincess/pseuds/flareprincess
Summary: Jinkx is the new girl in a burlesque troupe and has been trying to keep her sexuality a secret from the girls. On her first-ever tour, the more experienced Dela shows her that she’s not alone.Smutty, angsty and fluffy, but mostly smutty — a slow-burn fic about my favorite, yet criminally underrepresented pairing.Trixie and Violet as a secondary relationship for ya nerves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This quickly became one of those fics that started to write itself — the characters tell me where the story should go. This chapter was a bit of me trying to find my footing, and the characters/relationships really flesh out throughout the chapters, so I hope you stick with me.  
> I really love this universe and these relationships and I’m excited to continue with them! I hope you all are too!  
> And of course, title of the fic is from the end song of the movie Burlesque.

Jinkx’s heart soared as she clamored into the hotel suite she shared with the three other girls. The burlesque troupe had already been on tour for a week, but she still got the same high every night — blood coursing with the adrenaline of performance and heart proud of herself for working hard enough to become part of such a talented group of girls. Plus, the night never ended with the finale of the performance — her, Dela, Violet and Trixie shared a suite and would stay up drinking and talking or watch a movie. It was her first time on tour, and it was everything she could have hoped for.  
“Ugh!” Trixie exclaimed dramatically, throwing herself onto her bed, limbs splayed. “Get me out of these shoes.”  
Violet looked down at Trixie with passive disgust. “I’m not coming near your ugly ass feet.”  
“Cunt,” said Trixie, endearingly, before resigning herself to her fate of having to take off her shoes herself.  
“Always such a spirit of sisterhood between you two,” Dela remarked, a laugh in her voice.  
“You know how it is,” Violet said as her long fingers worked on carefully undoing her corset.  
Dela turned to Jinkx, who was sitting on the opposite side of the couch as her. “How are you holding up?”  
Jinkx smiled up at Dela as she worked to undo the clasps on her sparkly red shoes. Dela had always been so kind to her, since the beginning. She was the most experienced girl in the troupe, aside from Chad, who ran the whole show, and sometimes Jinkx wondered if that’s why she was so nice — because she’d watched new girls come and go for so long. “Not too bad. It’s not that different from performing back home, really.” She kicked her shoe off her foot. “I think I might like this better actually.”  
Violet and Trixie both scoffed at nearly the same time, and Jinkx found it amusing how well the two girls actually went together, despite their interactions that would seem like clashes to an untrained spectator. “Spot the newbie,” Violet quipped.  
“So eager to crush my innocence as always,” Jinkx retorted, voice light and playful.  
Violet smirked at that. “It’s my job!”  
Jinkx caught Dela’s amused gaze out of the corner of her eye, and they shared the moment together.  
“I wanna get drunk,” Trixie declared, springing to her now-bare feet.  
“Ugh, me too,” Violet replied, turning away from the mirror to face the rest of the girls. “Want to go down to the bar?”  
“Sure,” Trixie agreed, switching from her performance heels to more practical ones. “My expert makeup skills deserve to be admired up close.”  
“That fucking clown paint?” Violet quipped, fixing her hair in the mirror. She shrugged. “I just want some vodka and some dick.”  
Trixie screamed with laughter at that, but it set Jinkx on edge. She’d been part of this group of girls for four months now and had somehow managed to cleverly circumvent any and all conversations about boys, sex and relationships. It was harder than expected, and hindered her relationship with the other girls, and she knew that. But it was easier than telling them she was a lesbian. As burlesque dancers, their work was all about female sexuality, and Jinkx was terrified that if the other girls knew about her they would see her as perverted, coming onto them, or refuse to perform with her. Jinkx loved burlesque more than anything, except for women, and neither of those things were going to change.  
Again, she caught Dela looking at her out of the corner of her eye. This wasn’t the first time this had happened — over the past couple months it seemed that Dela may have picked up on Jinkx’s discomfort. If she had any suspicions about Jinkx’s sexuality, though, she’d never brought it up. Dela hummed, looking down at herself, still head to toe in costume. “I think I’ll pass. It’ll take too long to de-drag anyway.” Jinkx always found it amusing when Dela referred to her work as drag, even as a cis woman. It conveyed a sense of illusion and construction that Jinkx understood.  
Jinkx looked at her and the two of them exchanged a silent understanding of solidarity. “Me too — I’d rather stay in. Good luck though.”  
“Yeah, she’ll need all the luck she can get,” Trixie laughed.  
Her attempt to elicit a reaction from Violet worked flawlessly, as she reached out to slap Trixie on the arm. “Bitch.” Violet gathered her wallet and the two headed toward the door. “Have fun being boring!” she called, Trixie’s loud laughter following behind, and the two were gone.  
Jinkx felt no need to thank Dela, their silent understanding preceding any words. She did smile somewhat mischievously at the older woman, however: “I do want to get drunk though.”  
“Ah! Good, me too,” Dela exclaimed, rising from the couch with an overexaggerated grunt. Jinkx giggled and tucked her feet under herself on the couch, watching Dela navigate the hotel suite. The older woman returned shortly with a bottle of champagne taken from the mini bar. She poured Jinkx a glass as the young performer looked up at her, thumb placed absentmindedly between her teeth, looking rather coy.  
Dela handed her her glass with a wink and Jinkx smiled. “Thank you.”  
“Labors of love,” Dela breathed, voice dancing. She sat back down on her side of the couch.  
“Love?” Jinkx mocked, over-exaggerating her tone. “Don’t you think we’re moving rather fast?” She giggled into her glass.  
“I’ve seen the way you move, sweetheart.” Dela raised her eyebrows at her knowingly. “The audience falls in love with you instantly.”  
Jinkx smiled in spite of the swell in her heart. It felt incredible to be complimented by someone so much more experienced, skilled and talented than her, and she felt fortunate. “Thank you. I’m no you, though — you’re like a goddess out there.”  
Dela let out a small laugh at the compliment. “Don’t spend too much time comparing yourself to me, honey. I’ve been doing this for ages, I’m ancient.”  
“No you aren’t!” Jinkx was quick to protest. Dela was 37, 15 years older than her, but that didn’t detract from her beauty, performance or allure. In fact, it only made Jinkx, and she assumed the audience, more attracted to her — she was experienced, and refined.  
Dela took a sip of her champagne and hummed. “It certainly feels that way sometimes.”  
Jinkx was suddenly struck with a small sense of fear — if Dela left the troupe, she’d be all alone with these girls. Dela was the one Jinkx had developed the closest relationship with, and it scared her to think of her not being there, with her, through all of this.  
Apparently, Jinkx’s fear was portrayed too honestly on her face and Dela laughed lightly. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” Jinkx felt herself blush. “Chad would just as soon kill me herself as let me leave this place.” She took another sip, looking over at her suitcases exploding with costume pieces. “And I can’t pretend like I don’t love performing.”  
Jinkx finished off her glass and shifted to allow herself to relax on the couch. She felt grateful to have alone time with Dela, to start to actually get to know her. She felt safe. “Good. I don’t know how I’d manage being around these girls without you here. I can’t even count how many times you’ve saved my ass.”  
Dela smiled genuinely, reaching over to take Jinkx’s glass and refill it. As she poured, she asked casually, “So, why did you tense up as soon as Violet mentioned ‘getting dick’?”  
Jinkx felt herself instinctively freeze in fear, but tried to shake it off. She could tell Dela this, she knew she could. “Oh, um…” she took her champagne glass from Dela’s outstretched hand and took a long swig, avoiding eye contact.  
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Dela said calmly, shifting on the couch to face Jinkx more directly. “But I promise you can tell me. And I won’t tell anyone else.” She shrugged, bringing her second glass of champagne up to her rouged lips. “Some things are better left unsaid, but some things need air, so you can breathe better.”  
Jinkx bit the inside of her cheek, feeling her lips smile in spite of herself. She turned to look at Dela, thanks in her eyes. “It’s just that…” she trailed off and ran her fingers across the rim of the glass. Finally drawn up enough courage, she dragged her eyes up to meet Dela’s, who was looking at her with genuine compassion and interest. Jinkx couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at her like that. “Well, I’m a lesbian, so, I don’t really have any interest in ‘getting dick.’ And I’ve been so scared to tell anyone, I don’t want them to think I’m like, staring at them backstage or just here to touch other women or anything like that.” After she blurted it out, she expected herself to feel afraid and upset, but just in admitting this, Jinkx felt a certain amount of relief.  
Dela smiled a knowing smile. “Oh, honey.” Her tone was soft and kind, and full of a certain familiarity. “You really think it’s possible to have a group of girls like this and have them all be straight?” Jinkx’s eyes widened and she felt a tingling in her chest. The answer was, well, yes, that was what she thought, but clearly that wasn’t the case. Dela gestured a manicured fingernail towards Trixie and Violet’s suitcases, sprawled side-by-side on the hotel carpet. “These two used to date, you know.”  
Jinkx’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding!” she laughed. “Actually, that makes too much sense.”  
“Yeah.” Dela smiled back at her, amusement in her voice. “Sometimes I wonder if ‘getting dick’ is ever just a code for the two of them hooking up with each other somewhere.”  
Jinkx giggled, feeling significantly lighter and freer than before.  
“It was a messy end though,” Dela said in between sips of champagne. “Trixie cheated on her with this Russian girl Katya, and Violet lost it. Threatened to cut up all her costumes, threatened to quit unless Chad fired Trixie, all sorts of shit.” Jinkx was stunned. How had she not heard about this before? “After that, Chad made it a rule that girls in the troupe aren’t allowed to date each other.”  
“Wow…” Jinkx smiled at Dela, curled up on the couch to face her. “I feel kind of silly for being afraid now.”  
Jinkx watched as Dela smoothed her hands over her sheer red costume robe, resting elegantly over her red bodysuit with nude cutouts. “It isn’t silly at all.” She looked back up at Jinkx. “When I first started, it was much less acceptable to be gay. I had all the same fears you had. That’s how I could tell, about you — I remember feeling alienated and feeling like I had to hide, for the safety of myself and my job.”  
“Wait, you are… too?” She silently cursed the desperation in her voice.  
Dela smiled, eyes kind. “Yeah, baby.” She extended a hand and placed it on the couch near to her, bridging the gap between them. “You’re in a safe place, and you’re not alone.”  
Jinkx’s heart swelled in a way she hadn’t felt in ages. No one had been this kind to her perhaps ever in her life, but Dela, Dela was so open and warm. Jinkx was overcome with a sense of safety, and tears pricked at her eyes. “Thank you…” She looked down at Dela’s hand, unsure if she was supposed to be reaching out and returning the touch or not. And now that she’d learned Dela was a lesbian, too, her hands had a different context in her mind. Jinkx had always admired how Dela performed with every inch of her body, even her every finger dancing fluidly in each number. And now, those fingers weren’t just for performance, for the pleasure of an anonymous audience — their capacities seemed so much more real, now.  
After a slightly too-long hesitation, Jinkx reached out and placed her hand near Dela’s, only just barely brushing her fingers with her own. “You’ve made me feel so welcome, this whole time…” Tears built up in her eyes again, and she avoided eye contact, pulling her hand away to brush away the strays that travelled down her cheeks. “No one has been this kind to me before. Thank you so much.”  
Jinkx heard a rustle and looked up in time to see Dela next to her, wrapping the younger girl in her arms and pulling her head gently into her chest. Jinkx shuddered, refusing to let herself cry, suddenly terrified of being too open, of allowing herself to be taken care of, despite how much she wanted to just relax into Dela and feel safe. “I know,” she reassured her. “It’s a scary world out there. But you deserve all the kindness and care the world has to offer.”  
These words were the final blow to Jinkx’s defensive inner wall, and she finally allowed herself to cry. She had never had someone in her life that she could turn to and trust to take care of her, but she felt so safe with Dela, so seen, so understood. She felt like she might have found someone she could fall back on, for the first time in life. Jinkx shifted to wrap her arms around Dela, burying her face in Dela’s neck, afraid to make eye contact while she cried. The older woman stroked her hair gingerly, and Jinkx could sense no resistance or resentment in her, only true care. Nuzzled in her neck, Jinkx noticed that Dela smelled like roses and sweat, and Jinkx abruptly became acutely aware of how dangerous that combination could be. But she tried her best to push that thought away.  
Carefully, Jinkx sat up straight and smiled at Dela, quickly bringing her hands up to wipe at her face, makeup being wiped off as much as the tears were. “Thank you,” she said again, with a sniff. “I can’t tell you how much I needed that,” she giggled.  
Dela smiled, brushing her thumb across Jinkx’s cheek quickly and carefully. “Of course, treasure. I’m glad I could be here for you.”  
Jinkx let out a small laugh, voice still slightly tinted with tears. She noticed that Dela hadn’t made any effort to move away from her, and Jinkx appreciated this new level of intimacy that didn’t require plains of cold space between them.  
“So,” Dela began, bringing her champagne glass to her lips again, eyebrows raised in question. “Got a girlfriend?”  
Jinkx scoffed and pushed her hair behind her ear. “No. I’m very single.”  
Dela shook her head. “That’s surprising to me. You’re so magnetic.”  
Jinkx felt her face blush and mentally cursed at herself. She wasn’t one to blush, but also wasn’t one to get a lot of compliments. “Sure but I look like a foot when I’m not wearing makeup.”  
Dela lightly shoved her. “That is not true!” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t pull that self-deprecating bullshit around me, Jinkx. I won’t allow it.”  
Jinkx laughed. “You won’t allow it?” she repeated, amused. “What are you, my mother?”  
Dela laughed in return. “Yes.”  
Jinkx decided to play along, to be a brat and tease the older woman. She pulled her knees under her and turned to face Dela, opening her eyes wide and making her voice higher pitched. “Please Mommy, please can I be self-deprecating?”  
Dela threw her head back in laughter and pushed Jinkx backward again. “No.”  
“But I’ve been so good! Please let me be self deprecating?” Jinkx’s facade cracked into a devilish smirk and the two women laughed together, nearly spilling their champagne onto the hotel couch.  
After downing the rest of her glass, Dela smirked over at Jinkx. “And don’t get used to doing that, either.”  
“Doing what?”  
“Calling me Mommy like that.”  
“Why not?”  
Her smirk grew more dangerous. “I like it too much.”  
Jinkx felt her breath catch in her throat and recognized that her face was in the classic oh-shape, taken off-guard. Dela liked being called Mommy in bed? Something unexpected stirred inside Jinkx — she had always recognized Dela as a beautiful woman, but most of her feelings towards her were of admiration, of respect for her performance. And Jinkx had never put much thought into age play, or any kinks, really; most of her sexual energy was invested into how to find any girl at all who would give her the time of day and not expect her to be fully out. Her previous conceptions of her sexual horizons suddenly seemed miniscule compared to the world of opportunity that was out there.  
Apparently Jinkx was silent for a second or two too long. “Did I make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry—“  
“No no, you’re fine” Jinkx interrupted her, eager to avoid any potential harm. “I just…” She felt herself blush again. “That just made me realize that I have no idea what I like.”  
“You don’t?” Dela’s voice was steady. She poured the two of them their third glass of champagne each.  
Jinkx could feel the extra question behind Dela’s words, and decided to speak up before Dela asked it directly. “I’m not a virgin or anything,” she blurted, suddenly uncomfortable — this woman was like a mother to her and she knew she could tell her this, but it still felt weird to have to profess it like that. “But, it was a long time ago, back in high school, actually, and it was, you know,” she laughed, “vanilla.”  
Dela smiled and hummed knowingly, bright red painted lips retaining their shine from lipgloss applied hours earlier. “I’d hope so, in high school,” she mused, and shrugged. “Then there’s no reason for you to know what you like. That’s fine.” She brought her glass to her lips, leaving shiny red smudges around the rim. “You have to experiment to figure it out.”  
Jinkx’s conception of Dela suddenly expanded, like her conception of sexuality had seconds earlier. It occurred to her that Dela must be much more experienced than her, probably had had dozens of partners, had tried all sorts of different things. Thinking of Dela in this sexual context made her blush; she hadn’t thought about Dela that way before, and it was, exciting. She became hyper aware of how Dela’s red-tipped fingers delicately held the stem of the champagne glass, how her chest protruded out towards Jinkx, how far in her waist dipped, how how a sparkle of dangerous playfulness glinted behind an otherwise safety-providing green eye. And more than anything, Jinkx felt a sense of inexperience and youth in herself. It sat uneasy with her. She wanted to know more, to be more… to be like Dela, or to be worthy of her?  
“I want to experiment,” she found herself declaring, instantly embarrassed as soon as the words left her lips. First she’s crying on this woman’s tits, now she’s confessing a newfound desire to get kinky. Great. “But, it’s not like I have someone to do that with.” She was half-aware of the potential weight of her words in this context, so close to and alone with this other woman, but she chose to not acknowledge that feeling. “Anyway, I just never thought about it before. I’ve been so focused on not seeming gay that I haven’t been thinking about how my life could change if I allowed myself to actually be who I am.” A self-deprecating, deflecting joke about how she didn’t want to make Dela into her therapist was on the tip of her tongue but Jinkx bit it back — this was a rare opportunity for a genuine connection.  
There was a certain heaviness in the air around them, a certain mild suffocation. Jinkx knew enough about their relationship that she was sure Dela felt it too. But where was it coming from?  
Dela hummed in understanding of Jinkx’s troubles. “It’s important to allow yourself that.” She seemed quieter than she was a second ago, and, looking into her eyes, Jinkx could tell she was calculating something in her head. Maybe she was where the heaviness in the room was coming from.  
Jinkx decided to give Dela a break, allow her silence and thoughtfulness, taking the opportunity to drink more of her champagne. The alcohol was starting to get to her — she could feel the alcohol tingle into her blood as this particular sip hit her stomach. She sighed and leaned back into the couch, raising her eyes to look curiously at Dela. “What is it?”  
“Just thinking,” Dela replied, taking another sip of her champagne. “Want more?” She gestured to Jinkx’s glass, which was still over half full.  
Jinkx smirked up at the performer. “Don’t give me that deflective shit, Dela. I won’t allow it,” she mocked the woman’s earlier tone.  
Dela’s face broke into a smile, looking at Jinkx with somehow even more attention than before, like she was searching for details in her, rather than just gazing with compassion and care. “Funny,” she commented, deadpan, despite the smile on her face.  
“So you aren’t going to tell me, then?” Jinkx’s voice grew more playful, trying to coax Dela out of her thoughtful shell and into her world, and Dela smiled more, reluctantly. Jinkx placed her hands lightly on Dela’s shoulders, leaning in playfully. “Going to make me beg?” She intended the words to come off light and teasing, but instead, they hit a wall of silence that made them feel loaded. She herself looked stunned and confused, and Dela lost her smile, returning to that state of quiet heaviness. Jinkx pulled her hands away and sat back on the couch, bringing a hand up to bite on her thumb out of habit. “Sorry…”  
“Don’t apologize baby.” That pet name had taken on a new meaning in the last few minutes, and it made something inside Jinkx light up. Dela smiled down at Jinkx, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “It was cute.” The older woman stood up, seeming to head for her suitcase.  
“Hey, Dela…” Jinkx called after her. Dela turned to look over her shoulder at Jinkx, but it was at that moment that the key reader of their hotel door buzzed. The two women shared a look of common understanding in the final seconds before Trixie and Violet entered the suite, their energy crashing in like a tornado.  
“Ugh,” Violet pouted, heading straight for her bed. “That was a bust.”  
“She’s just upset that the only semi-attractive guy in the whole place wasn’t pouring over her,” Trixie claimed.  
“Of course I am! It’s only right that every man within eyesight should fall for me.” Violet started to undress herself, asking passively, “What did you guys do?”  
“Not much.” Jinkx caught Dela’s eye once again, trying to send her a smile. “Just being boring.”


	2. Chapter 2

After that night, the energy between Jinkx and Dela was changed, in some ways for the better and in some ways for the worse. A majority of the time, they acted as if nothing had changed, still stealing knowing looks at each other when called for and the cavern of cold, impersonal space keeping them physically distant. But sometimes, Dela’s hand would linger for an extra beat on Jinkx’s waist as she zipped the younger dancer into her costume, or Jinkx would inch closer to Dela while the girls watched Netflix in their various hotel suites. Jinkx came to realize how she had begun to ache for intimacy with Dela of any kind. They had shared a moment that was so important to Jinkx, when they came out to each other and Dela gave her newfound safety. When Jinkx allowed herself to think about it for too long, her stomach turned — if she hadn’t tried to flirt with her, even jokingly, she wouldn’t have fucked up this relationship. Why did she have to be so inept? So desperate?  
Even then, Jinkx knew she wasn’t making up the recognition of tension between the two of them. The way Dela had looked at her at the end of that night, there was a wanting there, Jinkx was sure of it. But why did the older woman close off when Jinkx tried to get her to admit to it? Especially after Jinkx’s own confession that night? Sometimes it made Jinkx angry — how could she have let herself be so vulnerable with someone who didn’t want to do the same with her? But Jinkx couldn’t let herself be upset with Dela for too long. She knew, deep down, that Dela had a reason. She trusted that in her.  
Jinkx tried to let it go. But it was nearly the end of the burlesque troupe’s regional tour, and they hadn’t had a moment alone since. Jinkx at least wanted to have another moment of privacy of Dela before they all went back home and Jinkx would lose any excuse to be alone with her. She knew they could repair their relationship if they just had some time.  
Finally, Jinkx was given an opportunity, albeit not in the most optimal manner. The zipper in the back of her costume had ripped during a number, and she figured she could ask Dela to help her fix it. She could probably figure it out herself, but excuse for privacy or not Jinkx still would have wanted Dela’s guidance on how to repair it in the best way possible. So that evening, when Trixie and Violet decided that they were determined to “get dick” (“for real this time!”), Jinkx was able to hold Dela back and have an excuse for the both of them to stay in.  
Violet shrugged, tossing her leather jacket over her shoulder. “Your loss.” The two girls glided out of the hotel suite, Trixie holding onto Violet’s arm in a slightly more than amiable way.  
Dela laughed lightly. “I’m not sure it is my loss.”  
Jinkx smiled at her over her shoulder as she rooted around in her suitcase for her mini sewing kit. She brought the kit and the damaged garment over to Dela, who was waiting patiently on the couch, glass of red wine in her hand. Handing the items to Dela, Jinkx started to get comfortable on the couch before Dela asked her if she could get her glasses.  
“Glasses?” Jinkx asked, moving to where Dela directed her, quickly returning with the soft pink case. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”  
Dela smiled at her kindly, taking the black frames out of their case and setting them across the bridge of her nose. “Only when I’m doing things like sewing.” She smirked and shrugged. “That’s what happens when you get old.”  
Jinkx rolled her eyes at the comment and sat back on the couch. “Self deprecating…” she began. Dela looked up at her, the meaning of her look unreadable by Jinkx. She decided to not push it farther. “Well, I like them.”  
Dela smiled softly and patted the couch near to her with her free hand, the other adjusting the garment on her lap. “Come here.”  
Jinkx obediently scooted closer. That scent of roses that appeared whenever she was close to Dela hit her deep in her stomach. She chose to try to ignore it. “Thanks for helping me with this, Dela.”  
“No need to thank me,” Dela replied, examining the tear. “Though you should really be able to do this yourself, you know.” Her tone was cool, though without judgement.  
Jinkx noticed that the air between them didn’t feel as heavy or anxious as she had expected it to be. The two of them continued to get on in their way, a silent understanding persisting in spite of themselves. It was like they got along naturally, energies harmonious no matter what else was going on in the world trying to affect that. “I could do it myself, but,” she began, tone growing sheepish as she continued, “I assumed that you’d do it better than me.”  
This caused Dela to stop what she was doing and peer up at Jinkx from behind her black frames. She broke into a laugh, nudging Jinkx like she had those days ago. “Well, you’re probably right.”  
Jinkx giggled and bit her lip. Dela then got to work stitching up the costume, reattaching the zipper to the fabric beneath the silver sequins. Jinkx tried to watch the stitches Dela used, but found herself caught up in watching her fingers. They were nimble, skilled. They embodied much of what Jinkx liked about Dela — beautiful to look at, and retaining so much wisdom and ability. And like Dela, Jinkx wanted to learn from Dela’s fingers. But again, she tried to shake that off. The only thing Jinkx should be learning from Dela’s fingers was how to sew. If she allowed herself to think about anything more, it would only make this worse…  
“There. See?” Dela pushed back the sequins to show Jinkx the final stitch.  
Jinkx nodded, giving a last look at her work before looking for Dela’s eyes. “Mm-hmm. That was really helpful, thanks.”  
“Of course.” Dela started to put all the materials away. “I can’t imagine there’d be any problem, but if you want to try it on just to make sure, feel free.”  
“Yeah,” Jinkx agreed, taking the sequined bodysuit off of Dela’s lap. “Better now than right before I’m supposed to be on stage.” Dela nodded in agreement.  
Jinkx stood, hesitating as soon as she’d risen. All the girls in the troupe were used to changing openly in front of each other, but with just her and Dela in the room, especially after the other day, Jinkx didn’t know if she should step out of sight or not. She looked down at Dela, hints of desperation and embarrassment clear in her eyes. “Should I…”  
“It’s fine,” Dela replied, placing her glasses back in their case. “I won’t look.”  
“It’s okay if you do —“ Jinkx felt a rush of anxiety and leapt to try and repair her statement. “Not like that, I mean, well it could be like that if you wanted to, but, what I’m trying to say is that it’s not weird — it wouldn’t be weird if you did, because that’s just, like, how it goes, you know?” she stammered. She was looking at Dela with a panic, and the older woman was returning it with the same unreadable stare as earlier. After a beat of frozen panic, Jinkx ran off to change in the bathroom, flight response winning.  
When she closed the door behind her, Jinkx leaned her back against it, cursing to herself, head in her hands. That was probably the worst way she could have handled that interaction. Not only did she tell Dela she was okay with her looking at her sexually, she dealt with that admission by literally running away. Fuck. Desperately trying to ignore her feelings, as usual, Jinkx stripped down to her underwear. She turned her body in front of the full length mirror, checking herself out in her mismatched underwear. She thought that maybe she should have stayed and changed in front of Dela, to show off what she’s missing out on, but then she scolded herself for her immaturity. She stepped into the bodysuit before opening the door, returning to where Dela was seated on the couch, determined to pretend like she hadn’t run away moments beforehand.  
Jinkx turned her slim body to present Dela with her back, undone zipper exposing a plane of Jinkx’s pale skin. “Would you?” She pulled her bright red hair up, using both her hands to collect every strand out of harm’s way.  
Dela rose from the couch and came up behind Jinkx. One hand came to rest on Jinkx’s hip and the younger girl fought every urge to sigh as it did. The other tugged at the zipper and it glided up the length of Jinkx’s body unabated.  
Jinkx turned to smile at Dela over her shoulder as she stretched in the bodysuit, testingthe repair job. “Thanks so much.”  
“No problem.” Her tone was casual, yet restrained. Jinkx felt her pull away.  
She turned around. “Not going to unzip me?”  
Dela was facing her, standing in front of the couch. “I figured you’d want to go change in the bathroom again.” Her tone was colder than she had heard her ever sound.  
Jinkx felt her stomach turn, and was sure her face reacted fell in the same way. “Dela.” She dropped her hair, hands hanging by her sides. “I didn’t know how to react, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I just… ran.” Jinkx slid her hands down her bodysuit. “Can we please actually talk about this?”  
“Jinkx…”  
“Dela. I like you. I want to know you, I want to be your friend.” Jinkx’s tone became more self-assured as her feelings of disappointment crept back in. “I told you an important secret last week, and you wouldn’t even tell me what’s on your mind. How is that fair? I trusted you, Dela, but you won’t trust me. Please, talk to me.” She watched Dela’s reserve start to crack, and Jinkx grew sadder. “You made me feel so safe, but then you took that away from me…”  
Dela sighed and brought a hand up to push black hair out of her own face. She looked sad, like she had let herself down, and Jinkx felt guilty for being so harsh towards her. “I’m sorry, baby…” That name again. It felt like a knife in Jinkx’s stomach. “I just know how these things go.”  
Jinkx felt her heartbeat quicken, frustration shooting to the palms of her hands. “What things?! I’m just trying to get to know you, because you’re the only person worth knowing here.” She felt her voice crack from anger to sadness again, and she cursed at herself.  
Dela sighed, sitting back down on the couch, looking up at Jinkx from below her. “You know it’s more complicated than that.”  
Jinkx felt a tightness in her throat. No. She didn’t want to deal with that.  
“You want to know why I shut you out?”  
“Yes.” Jinkx’s tone was stern and she placed her hands on her hips, unaware of the sequins poking into her skin.  
Dela sighed, staring into the deep red vat that was her unfinished glass of red wine. “I like you.” She shrugged. “And I felt guilty when you said you wanted to experiment and started flirting with me, like I had influenced you into thinking that way—“  
Jinkx rolled her eyes. “Do you think you’re a fucking hypnotist or some shit, Dela?” she accused. “I may be younger than you but I’m an adult and can make my own decisions.” She crossed her arms and stared at the wall. “If I’m attracted to you, that’s on me.”  
Dela’s tone was quiet, and steadier than Jinkx’s. “But that’s the problem. That’s what I’m saying.” Jinkx uncrossed her arms and looked back down at Dela, whose composure remained steady, though a little sad. “We can’t be attracted to each other.”  
Each other… the knowledge that Dela was attracted to her, too, glittered in her stomach, and brought ease to the anger stored in her arms.  
“It just can’t happen. I’m too old for you, first of all. And if we try and say that it’ll just be sex, it inevitably won’t be, and—“  
“And what would be wrong with that?” Jinkx’s accusation still had an edge to it, but her whole demeanor was softer, more earnest. “Two adults getting along, liking each other and having sex. God forbid.”  
Dela ran a hand through her dark hair, looking slightly exasperatedly up at Jinkx. But Jinkx could tell that beneath her words, she wanted to give in, too. “Jinkx…” Jinkx raised her eyebrows and stared down at her expectantly. “Like I said, it’s not that simple. I’m too old for you, you’ll want to do things that I can’t do with you, you’ll get tired of me,” her eyes travelled to Trixie and Violet’s suitcases, “someone will end up trying to get the other fired, or at the best Chad will hand my ass to me when she realizes I’ve broken one of her few actual rules.” Dela finished off her glass of wine and rose from the couch.  
“But,” Jinkx began, hyper aware of her own immaturity but trying to suppress the guilt that came with it, “why can’t we just…” Dela turned to look at her, genuine hope in her green eyes, “get to know each other and see what happens? Why do we have to plan for some disaster?” She raised her eyebrows at Dela again. “You know you don’t know everything.”  
At that, Dela laughed lightly as she set her empty wine glass down on the hotel room’s kitchenette. “You’re right, I don’t know everything, baby.” She leaned her back against the counter, arms set beside her, body openly facing Jinkx. Dela seemed to be giving in, like she knew she wanted to.  
Each time Dela called her that, it lit up Jinkx’s body more. Jinkx decided to try the exact same thing she had last time, but this time in mockery of herself. She turned on her burlesque dancer charm, raising to the balls of her feet and swaying her hips as she danced over to Dela. Dela smiled at the recognition. “Come on then, Mommy,” Jinkx mewled. Coming to a stop in front of Dela, she kept their bodies apart, but slid her hands up Dela’s arms to clasp loosely around her neck. She cocked her head innocently. “Let me get to know you. Please?”  
Jinkx was immensely grateful when Dela reacted well, laughing lightly and smiling down at the younger girl instead of shutting her out coldly like last time. The older woman’s hands came to rest on the small of Jinkx’s back and it took every ounce of her concentration to not react to the feeling of safety, yet dangerous sexuality that came with it. Dela sighed in exaggerated reluctance before saying with a laugh, “I should never have taught you how to manipulate me.”  
Jinkx giggled in response, biting on the outside of her lip. She narrowed her eyes in mocking danger. “It only gets worse from here!”  
Dela shook her head. “God.” One of her hands left Jinkx’s back to brush a piece of bright red hair behind her ear. “What have I gotten myself into?”  
The intimacy from that touch made Jinkx want to lean into Dela more, soak up as much of her as she could. Jinkx realized that this is exactly what she wanted — the two of them just being themselves, being open and intimate with each other. “Exactly what you wanted to,” Jinkx replied, dropping the act.  
She watched as Dela’s demeanor changed, too, softening and opening herself up after Jinkx’s claim. “Yeah.” Her fingers absentmindedly toyed with the ends of Jinkx’s hair. “I suppose you’re right.”  
Jinkx raised her eyebrows, looking dramatically off into the distance, but refusing to remove her arms from Dela’s neck. “I always am!”  
Dela laughed and poked Jinkx’s side, causing the younger girl to squeal and instinctively pull away. “I’m not so sure about that!”  
Jinkx placed her hands on her own hips. “I guess we’ll find out.” She felt lonelier this far from Dela, though it was only inches more removed.  
Dela smiled. “I guess we will.”  
The two women stood looking at each other, only a foot apart, echoes of laughter still ringing on their faces and through their bodies. Jinkx found herself wanting to go back, to be back in Dela’s arms, but it was not a painful wanting, it was a secure one — an acknowledgement of a desire symbolic of a growing relationship. Jinkx was excited that there would be more to come.  
But, as their laughter faded, something occurred to Jinkx. “Dela?” she asked.  
“Hmm?”  
Jinkx’s hands ran over the sequins of her bodysuit as she spoke. “Please promise me you won’t shut me out like that again. Whatever you are thinking, whatever you are feeling, I want to know it. I can take it.”  
Dela’s gaze grew softer, perhaps with a feeling of guilt from recognizing how she hurt Jinkx. “Yeah, baby.” She nodded. “I promise.” Dela opened her arms and Jinkx smiled sweetly, moving in to allow herself to be held by the older performer. Jinkx sunk her body into Dela’s, face resting near her collarbone. That same scent of roses returned and Jinkx breathed into it, allowing it to add to her feeling of blissful comfort.  
After a second, Dela started to pull away from the hug. Jinkx started to look up at her in worried confusion, but Dela’s explanation beat her to it — “those sequins are damn prickly, aren’t they?”  
Jinkx threw her head back in laughter. “Sorry!” The younger dancer quickly turned to present her back to Dela, gathering her hair in her hands. “Unzip me?” Just as earlier, she knew this was something she could do herself, she just wanted an excuse for contact with Dela.  
“Of course, treasure.” Jinkx giggled lightly at the name. When Dela reached to unzip her this time, her free hand came to rest further in than on her hip, fingers closer to her lower stomach. All of Jinkx’s attention was on that space, the feeling of Dela touching her more personally. When Dela finished undoing her zipper, she brought both hands to rest briefly on both of Jinkx’s hips. “There.” Her fingers lingered a second longer before pulling them back away from Jinkx.  
Jinkx tried to suppress her irregular breath, suddenly aware of how much such a simple touch had affected her. She giggled breathily. “Thanks.” It then dawned on her that she now had to take the bodysuit all the way off in front of Dela. It wasn’t ‘weird’, per se — she trusted Dela, wanted to have this level of intimacy, and certainly was no stranger to stripping in front of people. But with the slight stirring inside her, and the understanding of their mutual attraction, it seemed to hold a different weight. But Jinkx decided to persist through it, to do her best to act normal and not make it ‘weird.’  
She stepped away from Dela, shrugging the garment off her shoulders and hips, stepping out of it gracefully as she walked over to her suitcase. Jinkx didn’t need to turn around to check if she was being watched — she could feel Dela’s eyes on her, watching her glide through the hotel room in just her burgundy bra and nude lace panties. This recognition brought her both a satisfaction with their new relationship and lit a fire deep inside her. She wanted Dela to watch her, to admire her, to hold on to the memory of the curves of her body for a lonely night. This dull burning feeling persisted as she bent down over her suitcase. With this new level of exposure, Jinkx could feel the tension in the room spike, and she suddenly became acutely aware of the wetness between her thighs. She quickly dipped her hips downward, coming to sit cross-legged on the floor. Face a burning red, she couldn’t believe she just accidentally showed off the inevitable wet spot on her panties to Dela. Digging through her suitcase to pass the time, Jinkx tried to sneak a glance down there and see how bad it was, but she wasn’t able to tell without making it too obvious that was what she was looking for. It was at this moment that Jinkx realized just how fucked she was. All Dela did was touch her on the hip, call her baby and look at her, and that was enough to set Jinkx’s insides aflame. But, this didn’t scare her. In a way, it only excited her more. There was so much more to come for them.  
Jinkx tried to regulate her breathing and calm her embarrassment. She unclasped her bra, thankfully with her back to Dela, who she couldn’t tell if she was watching her or not. Jinkx slid an oversized t-shirt over her head and pulled short pajama shorts over her legs. Although she probably should have changed out of her panties, that could wait. It would have been too much for her to try and do it then. Looking down at herself, Jinkx realized her nipples on her small B-cup breasts were hard, protruding very visibly through the thin fabric of her tshirt. But she knew there was nothing she could do about that. Brushing her hair from her face, Jinkx resigned herself to her fate of being visibly aroused and embarrassed, determined to play it cool.  
She stood back up and walked back over to Dela, who was busy fitting the cork back into the wine bottle. When Dela lifted her eyes to look at her, Jinkx noticed them flash across her breasts before studying her face, and Dela’s own face breaking into a smirk.  
“What?” Jinkx said airily, still determined to pretend like everything was normal.  
“You’re blushing.” The older woman smiled at her in amusement, laughing when Jinkx’s facade of confidence started to crack into more embarrassment. “Here,” she picked up the wine glass she had poured for Jinkx and held it out to her. “We can pretend you’re flushed from the alcohol.”  
Jinkx rolled her eyes playfully, resigning herself. “Thanks.” She took the glass and leaned against the counter next to Dela, their thighs lightly touching. Jinkx took a larger drink of it than perhaps appropriate, downing nearly half the glass at once. She noticed Dela smirking at her out of the corner of her eye, and Jinkx was the one nudging her this time. Dela laughed and brought an arm up around Jinkx’s shoulders, encouraging the younger girl to lean into her. She did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell you guys how badly I wanted to make a "sequence dress" joke in here. 
> 
> Again, this fic only gets better the longer I write -- I'm much prouder of chapters 4 and 5 than I am of 1 and 2, so I hope you stick with me this far. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

The excitement Jinkx had felt for touring at the start of the two weeks was all but gone by the time the burlesque troupe’s tour was coming to a close. Her muscles ached, her costumes were starting to smell, she never felt fully rested no matter how many hours of sleep she got. But worst of all, she had absolutely no privacy.   
The only thing keeping Jinkx sane was also the thing driving her the most insane: Dela. Since that evening a few nights ago when they finally were able to establish the vague foundation of their new relationship, things had been going as well as they could be. They’d take any chance they had to be together, talking in the back of the bus or staying up later than Violet and Trixie just to sit together in relative silence, leaning on each other. And even when not alone, they would steal glances and brief touches, like a generous hand on the waist or the arm, whenever possible. But those touches rarely felt as innocent as they would seem to an observer. More often than not, the contact of Dela’s hand on her waist or her own hand brushing the skin of Dela’s arm would send a shockwave through Jinkx’s body, reminding her of the fire she felt that night she changed out of her costume in front of the older woman.   
When she thought about it for too long, it made her feel guilty and confused. She knew she didn’t think of Dela only sexually — she admired her, she respected her, she was grateful for her friendship and care. Plus, in a way they had agreed to ‘take it slow’ that last night they were together, and hadn’t talked about their relationship since. But the longer this went on, the more her need grew and the worse she felt. She couldn’t help but look at Dela sexually now and interpret her touches as flirtation.   
But her guilt could not win over her desire.   
At the end of the third day of torturous flirtation and forced estrangement, Jinkx couldn’t handle it anymore. She knew that if she tried to go to sleep that night in this state she would just be tossing and turning in bed, body aching for release. And sleeping only feet away from Dela, Violet and Trixie, there was nothing she could do then to help herself. So Jinkx declared to the other girls, gathered on the couch watching a movie, that she was going to take a shower; Violet and Trixie dismissed it with a shrug and Dela sent her a kind smile. It was a normal activity. Nothing suspicious at all.   
But as soon as she shut the door behind her, Jinkx pressed her body back against it, hands sliding down her stomach and thighs with need. She was then struck with a certain amount of discomfort. Masturbating wasn’t exactly something she did very often. As she had realized all those days ago during that first evening alone with Dela, it was because her shame in being lesbian kept her from exploring what she actually desired sexually. She felt dirty and guilty when she touched herself thinking about women, so she generally just avoided it altogether. But today she knew that she had to, her body needed her to or she might lose her mind. Plus, this was something she felt ready to start to work on — as she had told Dela that night, she wanted to experiment, and this is where she had to start.   
Jinkx slid out of her clothing and reached down to turn on the shower. As she waited for the water to get warm, she looked down at herself. Her body was petite and tight, yet with round curves, and her pale skin seemed almost snow white to her under the hotel bathroom lights. She knew she was attractive and that her body was capable, but sexuality had always felt intangible to her — her body’s sexuality was meant for an impersonal audience, for consumption like an object, not for herself, and hardly for another woman, despite knowing that’s what she wanted.  
She stepped into the shower and sighed as the hot water hit her skin. She melted into it, allowing the water to ease all of her hard working muscles. And as it did, Jinkx felt her blood pulse through her, her pussy lighting up with every beat. Jinkx ran her hands up her thighs and stomach, cupping her small breasts. Despite her physical need, Jinkx couldn’t shake her unease, and found herself longing for Dela’s comfort. Dela… Dela here with her, in the shower, showing her that it was okay to touch herself. Teaching her how. The idea of the fantasy wracked Jinkx’s body and she pawed at her thighs. The more Jinkx thought about Dela, and less about herself, the more relaxed and excited she became.   
Jinkx closed her eyes and leaned against the wall of the shower, the hot water hitting her stomach and below. With a sigh, she eased herself into her fantasy.   
_Dela’s standing next to her in the shower, hair damp, entirely naked._ That alone was enough to quicken Jinkx’s heartbeat. She brushed against her nipple, timidly, as she imagined the mature curves of Dela’s body, muscles strong from years of dancing underneath a layer of softness that comes with age. _She’s smirking at her, looking dangerous and eager, though clearly with her best intentions in mind.  
“I-I’m a little scared,” Jinkx would admit, embarrassed yet aroused.   
“Why are you scared, baby?” Dela would ask.   
“I don’t really do this a lot…”   
“You’re safe with me, treasure. Just do what feels good.” Dela would reach over and brush the hair out of Jinkx’s face.   
Jinkx would slowly slide her hand down her body to her clit, hesitant, before looking back up at Dela. “Mommy, can you teach me?” _  
Jinkx was struck with the realization that she was fantasizing about calling Dela mommy. She had never thought about anything like that before, but the idea provoked the fire roaring deep inside her. She felt naughty, and excited, and needy. She wanted Mommy to take care of her…   
_“Yeah baby, I can teach you how.” Dela would step forward and place her hand over Jinkx’s, starting to make soft circles with her fingers, and Jinkx’s hand would follow._  
Jinkx did this, herself, in real time, imagining Dela’s hand guiding hers. She rubbed light circles onto her clit, dreaming of Dela’s touch.   
_Dela’s fingers would feel strong and skilled as they guided her hand. They would show her how to touch herself better than she had ever done it on her own.  
Jinkx would open her legs wider and Dela would press on Jinkx’s hand, encouraging her to work her clit harder. Jinkx would moan, and Dela would like it — it would excite her to watch Jinkx come apart as she touched herself.   
“Does this feel okay, baby?” she would ask reassuringly, voice calm and earnest.   
Jinkx would look into Dela’s eyes and find a spark of devilishness in the green. She played such a nurturing character, but behind that, she was dangerous and playful. It would only made Jinkx want her more. “Yes Mommy,” Jinkx would reply, voice already sounding desperate.   
“Good…” Dela would put her hand on Jinkx’s hip. Jinkx stirred with the memory of Dela’s hand holding her steady in that way in real life.   
“Mommy…” Jinkx would sigh, wrapping her free arm around Dela’s neck and pulling her closer. “Kiss me, please.”   
Dela would smirk and lean in, pressing her lips to hers. Jinkx would moan into her mouth, soaking up every sensation of her hot, wet lips on her own. They would be criminally soft and sweet and skilled, kissing Jinkx like she had never been kissed before_. Jinkx’s hand started working quicker on her pussy as she enveloped herself in her fantasy. _Soon, the tip of Dela’s tongue would flick quickly against her own and it would send shocks through Jinkx’s body, make her moan and pull Dela into her. Her fear would start to fall away and she would be focused only on Dela’s tongue, shuddering and moaning. Their hands, working in tandem, would speed up against Jinkx’s ever-wetter clit.  
Dela would pull away slightly and take Jinkx’s free hand, bringing it to her small breast. “Play with your nipple, baby,” Dela would instruct, but Jinkx would shy away.   
“I…” Jinkx would look down and carefully, tentatively start to pet at her nipple before looking up at Dela with needy eyes. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Can you show me?” Being so needy and innocent would only turn Jinkx on more; she’d never allowed herself to be this vulnerable before, and something about needing help from Mommy made her body ache with pleasure.   
“Mmm,” Dela would hum, placing a generous kiss on Jinkx’s lips and sliding her hand from Jinkx’s hips up to her other breast. “Watch how Mommy does it.” She would slide her fingers over Jinkx’s nipple, unafraid. _Back still pressed against the hotel bathroom wall, Jinkx tried to mimic what she imagined Dela doing to her, touching herself more confidently and firmly than she had before. The young woman nearly moaned out at the shocks of pleasure shooting through her body as she tugged on her nipple, so lost in her fantasy she almost forgot that there were other people on the other side of the wall. _Jinkx would gasp and moan at Dela’s touches, the stimulation sending shockwave after shockwave straight to her already-aching cunt. Jinkx would start to play with her other nipple and she would cry out, the pleasure so intense that her self-awareness was foggy, entirely involved in how good she felt.  
“Mommy,” she would sigh, eyes half-shut, looking at the gorgeous older woman through her eyelashes. “It feels so good, you’re so good at this…”   
Dela would encourage her to work her fingers into her pussy harder and faster and Jinkx would shiver, hips beginning to buck down on their hands. “And you’re being such a good girl, baby…” Jinkx shuddered, eyes shut tight — yes, she wanted to be called a good girl, she needed it.   
“Oh, yes,” Jinkx would moan, mouth hanging open. “Please, tell me how good I am, tell me I’m a good girl.”   
Dela would smirk down at her, arousal and mischief showing on her face, intoxicated by Jinkx and the knowledge that this is what she had turned her into. “You’re being so good, baby, taking Mommy’s instructions so well.” Her fingers would tug at Jinkx’s nipple harder. “Such a good girl.”   
Jinkx would whine and sigh, arching her back forward, trying to press herself into Dela’s skin. The older woman would feel soft and warm against her. Dela would take advantage of Jinkx’s open, gaping mouth and kiss her again, sliding her tongue inside, hot and wet. This would set all of Jinkx’s nerve endings on fire and she would whine into their kiss, pressing her fingers harder into her clit, need to release the pressure inside her growing ever more desperate. “Mmm, so good for me,” Dela would breathe between kisses, hot breath making the skin on Jinkx’s neck tingle. Dela would suck on her tongue and run her teeth over her lips and Jinkx would moan, finding herself completely lost in Dela, lost in the way she was pleasuring her body, lost in the fog of want and need. _  
Jinkx ran her fingers further down past her clit and gasped, surprised at the amount of wetness she found, coating her lips and thighs. She ran her fingers across it and felt her legs start to tremble, buckling with need. She mentally replaced her fingers with Dela’s.  
 _“You’re so wet,” Dela would say, voice low, herself aroused at Jinkx’s desperate need. Dela would slide her thick but nimble fingers across Jinkx’s swollen lips and the younger girl would moan out, instinctively pushing her hips down into Dela’s touch. “Is that right, baby?” Dela would tease, keeping her touch light, smiling devilishly at the younger girl. She tugged at Jinkx’s nipple and Jinkx hissed. “You want more?”  
“Yes,” Jinkx would sigh, all her attention on her aching cunt. She would push her hips down and look at Jinkx with clouded desperation. “Mommy…”   
Dela would move her hand back, placing it over Jinkx’s hand. “You do it, baby, remember?” She would encourage Jinkx to slide her fingers over her wet lips. “You’re supposed to show Mommy how good you can touch yourself.”   
Jinkx would feel desire run through her in intoxicating, disorienting waves, overcome with the need to show Dela how good she can be. _Despite this desperate need, Jinkx still felt a knot of anxiety in her stomach — she rarely put things inside of herself. There was something about it that made her feel so vulnerable and afraid. But now, that was where the aching was — it was deep, it was inside her. And maybe, wrapped up in her fantasy, with Dela, and with her drive to be a good girl for her, she could fuck herself properly.   
_Jinkx would look up at Dela to communicate her fear, but wouldn’t say anything — Dela was right, and Jinkx was determined. She was going to be good for Mommy, and she was going to release that desperate need from so deep inside of her.  
Dela would lean in and kiss Jinkx again, moving her hand up to Jinkx’s hip. “Show Mommy how you fuck yourself.”   
“Nnn, yes mommy,” Jinkx would sigh into Dela, angling her hips to open herself up, running her fingers over her sensitive lips.   
“Good girl,” Dela would purr, placing gentle kisses on Jinkx’s collarbone. “You can do this, baby. I’ve got you.”   
Looking at Dela with hunger, Jinkx would finally slide inside herself._ Jinkx almost moaned out, nearly doubling over from waves of pleasure, shocked at how good it felt. Her hips started bucking down instinctively onto her hand, working her finger inside of her. _Jinkx would gasp and moan, and it would excite Dela, who would be drinking in everything Jinkx and all of the dirty things she’d turned her into._  
“Does that feel good, treasure?” Dela would ask sweetly.   
“Yyyeah,” Jinkx would whimper, nearly out of her mind with pleasure, attention entirely on the building tension deep inside of her. Jinkx’s free hand would reach out to clutch onto Dela for stability as her finger started working more frantically inside her.   
Without needing Dela’s encouragement or support, Jinkx would push a second finger inside herself, making Dela impressed and aroused by her level of desperation. Jinkx would get extra satisfaction out of this performance for Dela, out of knowing how hot and how good she was being for her. Digging the fingers of her free hand into Dela’s shoulder, body flushed deep red, mouth hanging open, and hips working in perfect rhythm with her hand, Jinkx would look like the perfect picture of arousal, an image of sex itself. Dela would be intoxicated by her, would desire her — would give Jinkx that validation she desperately needed.   
The sensation of her fingers inside of her, palm against her clit, and Dela’s lips on her neck would start to overload Jinkx’s senses. “Mommy,” Jinkx would pant, voice high and breathy with desperation, “tell me how good I am.”   
Dela would only move a hand to pinch on Jinkx’s nipple, causing the younger girl to yelp. “Say please.”   
This assertion of dominance would only arouse Jinkx farther, and she would feel her body start to shake. “Please!”   
Dela would raise her eyebrows. “Please what?”   
Jinkx would wine, fucking herself quicker, more desperate to be filled. “Please, mommy, please tell me I’m a good girl.”   
Dela would lean in and place a wet kiss on Jinkx’s mouth and sucking her tongue before speaking, serious, face only centimeters from hers. “Only if you promise to come for me.”   
Jinkx would cry out and fuck herself harder, feeling herself start to fall over the edge. “I promise!” she cried desperately.   
One hand playing with Jinkx’s nipple and the other pushing back a piece of her hair and caressing her face, Dela would purr, “you’re such a good girl… you’re fucking yourself so well for Mommy. You’re being so good for me…”   
Whining loudly, this motherly praise would be too much for Jinkx, finally setting her over the edge — every inch of her skin alight with arousal, Jinkx would come with a cry, fucking into herself desperately with her fingers, legs shaking beneath her as she clung to Dela for support. Dela’s coos of praise would continue throughout, telling her how good she is until she finally fully comes down from her orgasm. “So good… such a good girl…”   
Jinkx blinked her eyes heavily, trying to return herself to reality. She slowly became aware of each part of her body as they turned back on in her brain — oh, her mouth was dry; oh, her legs were weak; oh, her back was stiff. She pulled her fingers out of herself and rinsed them off in the shower water, realizing how much colder that water had gotten since she had entered in the shower however many minutes ago.   
Despite that deep sense of satisfaction from having relieved her physical tension and how her body was humming with the pleasure of orgasm, Jinkx found herself with met a subtle, dull sadness. She knew that it was because she wanted to be able to bury herself in Dela’s arms after coming, feel her warmth and comfort and care. There was a sense of loneliness in knowing that Dela wasn’t truly there for her in the way she was in her fantasy, but also a glimmer of hope in recognizing that it could be that way in the future. Jinkx stepped fully under the showerhead, allowing the lukewarm water to act as a substitute embrace, choosing to focus on her physical relief and satisfaction. She hummed quietly, skin sensitive to every drop of the pelting water, letting the shower clean her and restore her.   
Biting her lip, Jinkx giggled to herself. She couldn’t believe that she had really gotten off to the fantasy of calling Dela Mommy and being called a good girl. Dela had really gotten in her head, hadn’t she? The warm memory of the fantasy stirred in her depths again and Jinkx revelled in her satisfaction and the excitement of a new discovery about her sexuality. She found herself to be almost proud, proud of herself for experimenting like she had told Dela she wanted to… proud of herself for touching herself so well and coming for Mommy. Again, the reminder stirred her and Jinkx slid her hands over her body. God, she wanted to do it for real, to experience all of Dela’s ability and care in real life. That overlap of motherly safety and dangerous seduction was driving Jinkx wild; she knew this would only be the first time it put her over the edge.   
Should she be worried about this? The idea pulled at her from an anxious knot in her stomach. It had only been a few days since Dela and Jinkx had come out to one another, and even fewer since they had decided to “just get to know each other,” but now here Jinkx was, fucking herself senseless to the fantasy of the older woman. Even before this, Jinkx had spent the last few days caught up in her, always either with her, near her or thinking about her. It seemed to all be happening so fast, but Jinkx felt like she was on a steep slide, frictionless, unable to help herself from sliding into… what she hoped would be Dela’s care, but what could easily be a pit of regret and hurt. She refused to call it a crush, not yet — just excitement for the possibilities of what could come. She was happy to get to know her… and to hopefully, possibly, one day, be intimate with her in the way she craved.   
As she thought about this, the realization that she would have to face Dela after coming out of the shower began to sink in. Would she be able to keep her cool? Dela was more than just Dela, now — to a small, fantastical part of her, she was “Mommy,” too. Could Jinkx repress that? And perhaps more importantly, would she be able to walk out into the hotel suite now without Dela being able to tell what she had been doing, and who she had been thinking about? The older woman had that near-psychic stare. Jinkx couldn’t allow herself to worry about it — she shut off the water and stepped out of the tub, quickly wrapping her body in a plush white towel, skin thankful for its soft embrace. She squeezed excess water out of her red hair and picked her clothes up off the ground. Putting on her best everything-is-normal face, Jinkx opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom.   
Almost immediately, Jinkx felt eyes on her, but she refused to acknowledge them, determined to make her way to her suitcase, retrieve her pajamas and skincare, and escape back into the bathroom without any conversation.   
“Girl that was a long shower,” Violet said, voice cool yet seeming to be restraining something.  
Inwardly, Jinkx’s anxiety spiked. “Well you know, touring is gross,” Jinkx deflected, trying to sound as casual as possible. “Gotta stay clean.”   
“Yeah, I bet that was really easy without any of your soap.” Violet’s voice broke into a laugh at the end, and Jinkx followed her gesturing hand to see all of her bottles of shampoo and soap sitting on the counter, in plain view of the other girls.   
Trixie screamed with laughter and Violet followed suit. Jinkx felt herself freeze with embarrassment, surely blushing. She hadn’t even realized she didn’t actually take a shower.   
Embarrassment in her eyes, she looked at Dela -- was that a bit of a blush on her cheeks, too? Dela was giggling along with the other girls, but a different energy was coming from her. The way she looked at her was knowing, sympathetic, curious, and… desiring? Did Dela know that she had been thinking about her? Jinkx was sure that she assumed it, and that Jinkx’s gaze was probably giving it away even if she didn’t. They held each others gaze for a second, Dela with a kind smirk and Jinkx with a sheepish smile. In spite of her shock and embarrassment, Jinkx felt a bubble of laughter grow inside her, and a smile crept across her face.   
Jinkx owned her mistake and laughed along with the other girls. “It’s not my fault I haven’t had any privacy in weeks!” she declared. She grabbed the soap bottles off of the counter and threw them back into her suitcase. Jinkx marched over the rest of the way to her stuff and knelt down, sorting through to find the things she needed.   
“You could have come to the bars with us,” Trixie offered.   
With her back to the girls, Jinkx responded, “Well, ‘getting dick’ isn’t everyone’s taste.” That anxiety in her stomach popped up again, but it was quickly soothed by a sense of accomplishment and relief. Maybe coming out wasn’t so hard after all. She hoped Dela was proud of her, too…   
“Fine then, you could have gotten pussy, whatever, it’s all the same” Violet said, tone somehow both exasperated and amused.   
“Is it?” Trixie laughed.   
“Hey, trans women exist,” Violet said with a shrug. “Either way, I don’t give a fuck. If you’re hot, you’re hot.”   
“I guess,” Trixie conceded. “But when you want dick, you want dick, you know?”   
Jinkx smiled to herself, finding herself thankful for the tendency of Violet and Trixie’s banter to go off topic for the first time. She stood up from her suitcase, feeling like her mistake had already been forgotten, when —  
“What were you thinking about for so long, anyway?” It was Dela, eyebrows lifted, amused and mischievous. Jinkx’s anxiety spiked, embarrassment returning again— she hadn’t truly gotten away with it.   
Jinkx whirled around, wet hair swinging with her, and arched her body into a dramatic sexy position, in love with the performance of sexuality. She knew that Dela loved it when she acted like this, and that the knowledge of her naked underneath the towel would only help. “If you want to find out, you’ll have to be good.” She winked at Dela, voice high and flirtatious. She was enjoying this role reversal from her fantasy.   
Trixie and Violet laughed, but Dela only smirked more, genuinely amused. “I’ll have to be good?” The both of them were aware of this performance, this test of stubbornness and stamina with the audience of Trixie and Violet. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”   
The other girls had their eyes wide with amusement, Trixie holding onto Violet’s wrist, eating up the flirtatious standoff in front of them, but Jinkx was hardly aware; instead, she repositioned herself into another subtle pose in her towel, attention honed in on Dela. “Don’t doubt me, Mommy.” A wild grin spread across her face, getting a kick out of her perceived cleverness. After her fantasy, calling Dela Mommy felt different on her lips, felt thicker and more purposeful, and she liked it.   
Jinkx saw a second of surprise flicker across Dela’s face, the flirtatious performance cracking for a moment. She clearly hadn’t been expecting Jinkx to call her that in front of the other girls, or maybe she was just aroused by it? Despite this, Dela of course was quick to respond to the challenge. She narrowed her eyes and her eyebrows raised further. “And don’t you think you’re in charge.”   
Jinkx felt a giddy stir in her chest and a duller stir in her center — this was exactly the power dynamic she’d expected them to have, this was exactly the flirtation she knew they would be best at. She took the time to revel in the excitement of this relationship, biting down on the corner of her lip as she grinned.   
“Oooh, shit.” Violet really wasn’t able to keep her mouth shut for too long. Jinkx didn’t really mind the interruption — in fact, she was thankful for it, because it meant she didn’t have to lose the flirtation battle. Violet fanned herself with the hand that Trixie hadn’t attached herself to. “It’s getting hot in here.”   
Trixie’s mouth was hanging open in amused surprise, looking between Jinkx and Dela. “Since when are you two flirting?!”   
Dela looked at Jinkx expectantly. Jinkx looked at Dela expectantly. Neither spoke.   
“WHAT?!” Trixie hollered, laughing.   
Violet shook her head, a shadow of something near amusement playing on her features. “Good luck with that.” Without another word or glance their direction, Violet pressed play on the remote, resuming the movie where they had left off before Jinkx had stepped back out of the bathroom. Trixie looked between Jinkx and Dela one more time before setting herself back into Violet’s side.   
Still wrapped in her towel, Jinkx continued to smile at Dela from across the room, challenging smirk replaced by a light of genuine enjoyment and appreciation. Dela’s expression reflected that back at her, her own small smile sharing her respect and sense of camaraderie. Despite how much they both loved to perform, these were the moments that Jinkx was starting to love the most: when they finish their act and find each others true appreciation for one another on the other end.   
Jinkx gathered her pajamas and skincare bottles off the bed and set off back toward the bathroom, head held high. As she walked by Dela who sitting on the side of the couch closest to her, the older woman subtly stuck out a hand so that her fingertips brushed Jinkx’s enrobed hip as she passed by. This made Jinkx smile wider, and she caught Dela’s eye as she passed and found her smiling warmly up at her. Jinkx lit up inside. Her and Dela’s future wasn’t going to be just a fantasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some smut! From here on is when it really starts getting good. ;) 
> 
> Please, leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed? I appreciate hearing from you all!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter -- some firsts, lots of healing and development of their dynamic. 
> 
> IMPORTANT! Trigger warning for mentions of past abuse (NOT graphic at all though), homophobia, and the d slur. But, this chapter is all about healing from these things, so it may actually help you.
> 
> Also know the basic lyrics to "looking good feeling gorgeous" so you don't think I'm totally insane.

After two weeks of being around other people nonstop on this tour, Jinkx practically hibernated for the first few days back home. She conserved her energy by only exerting herself for basic survival needs and, eventually, unpacking, spending the rest of the time with her softest blanket wrapped around her, curled up in the comfiest corners of her studio apartment. The mass group text between all of the girls of the troupe had gone nearly silent, not a drop of alcohol had been touched by her — it truly was a period of detox and rehabilitation.   
Jinkx had heard from Dela only once since they had parted at the end of the tour, and it was a text from that same day making sure that Jinkx had gotten home safe. Over the last couple days Jinkx sometimes looked at it and smiled, feeling cared for. It was a warm, comforting feeling, like the feeling of the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, but around her heart. She had considered texting Dela once or twice over the last few days, but it didn’t feel necessary. It wasn’t that she felt she couldn’t message her, just that it didn’t feel urgent to try and add to their relationship. After her evening in the shower and the embarrassing aftermath, Jinkx’s wild fantasies of Dela had calmed down. She felt more secure in their strange relationship and in her sexuality, and was no longer frantically longing for Dela like she was during the tour. Jinkx wondered if this was as much because she felt like she had reached a new sexual maturity as it was because she had gained new faith in Dela. Either way, Jinkx was satisfied with enjoying the process.   
Reclined on the couch, fluffy turquoise blanket wrapped around her shoulders and nearly covering her head like a hood, Jinkx caught sight of herself in her phone’s camera and giggled to herself. She looked off into the distance and snapped a selfie.   
_Looking warm, feeling cozy, she captioned it._  
She sent it to Dela. Jinkx remembered how she had laughed when she learned that Dela had a snapchat; it felt hard to imagine her even taking a selfie without looking like a dorky mom, much less using them as a method of communication. They had yet to actually communicate through snapchat yet, however, so Jinkx didn’t know what to expect. She picked up her tea and was about to press play on her Netflix show (“Sex Education,” fittingly) again when she got the notification for Dela’s response. She opened it.   
It was a picture of Dela making an exaggerated kissy face, taken from high up and angled down to show herself to be also wrapped in a blanket, hers red, with some tea. Jinkx was impressed at her selfie ability, though it was still on the dorky mom selfie spectrum. Even more importantly, this angle allowed for a fantastic view of Dela’s cleavage beneath her low-cut white tshirt. Jinkx wondered briefly if that was intentional. _Touch this blanket honey._  
Jinkx tilted her head, arched her back, and extended her selfie arm out as far as it could go, trying to get as much of her body in the frame as she could. She was surprisingly pleased with how the picture turned out — the blanket was covering just enough of her body to make her look sexy, but not like she was trying too hard, and her pale skin and red hair glowed in contrast to the turquoise blue. She realized that her tank top and short pajama shorts weren’t visible in the picture, making it unclear whether she was naked under the blanket or not, and she hoped this would pique Dela’s curiosity. _Touch all of this blanket, darling._  
Jinkx didn’t even want to press play on Netflix again, instead tingling with excitement as she waited for Dela’s reply. She scrolled through other apps on her phone, not truly taking any of it in, just trying to fill the time. After what felt like forever but was actually only about 2 minutes, Jinkx got a notification for Dela’s reply.   
It was a close-up picture of Dela’s face, curled into an overly dramatic expression of suspicion. _Are you wearing clothing under there, young lady?_  
Jinkx giggled and felt a surge of excitement and accomplishment. She had laid a trap and it had been sprung. And being called “young lady” made her insides stir more than she was prepared for. But what to do next? She didn’t want to look too desperate, but on the other hand, there truly was only one way to reply to that message. Jinkx slid the thin straps of her tank top off her shoulders to show more bare skin and took another photo, showing off her bare shoulders and some beyond-subtle cleavage, along with her face curled into a coy smirk, eyes again looking off into the distance. _I’ll leave that up to your imagination._ She shifted slightly in her seat, suddenly wishing she actually was completely naked under this blanket.   
Dela’s next snap was a similar expression, this time more intrigued and faux-judging than suspicious. _Being naughty, are we?_   
Grinning, Jinkx felt another surge of excitement, both sexual and emotional, rush through her body. She had appreciated her hibernation, but it was refreshing to be playing this game with Dela again. To pose for the photo, Jinkx lifted her thumb up to her mouth and bit lightly and made an innocent expression, eyes actually facing the screen this time. Her cleavage peeked out of the bottom of the screen and Jinkx smiled, satisfied with her seductive artistry. _I don’t know what you’re talking about._ After she hit send, Jinkx quickly put her phone down and shed herself of her clothing. Whether or not this conversation would be continuing in a sexual nature, her already-minimal clothing suddenly felt restrictive. Jinkx’s skin was sensitive to the blanket’s soft fibers, and it felt amazing to have them caress every part of her.   
Just as Jinkx was dreaming of how Dela might be reacting to her photos on the other end, her response came. The photo showed more of Dela’s body than the previous close-ups; she was leaning back into her couch, dark hair splayed around her effortlessly, much of the soft skin of her chest showing other than what was concealed by a deep v-neck white t-shirt. She was gorgeous, and Jinkx drank the view in, despite the caption drawing Jinkx’s attention and excitement: _And now we’re a liar, too? So naughty._  
The words stirred inside Jinkx and she wriggled inside her blanket before throwing herself down fully into the couch so she was laying down. Her pulse was quicker, a smile across her face — she was thrilled even by just simple flirtation. Jinkx raised the camera above her at an angle and her other arm laid across her chest in such a way as to push her small boobs up and together and give her more cleavage. Again, subtle. Toootally. She took a few takes, trying to get a version of the picture where biting her lip and smiling at the same time actually looked good, before settling on one. _You love it._  
She tossed and turned in her blanket, feeling giddy like a schoolgirl getting attention from her crush. The longer this went on, the more her center started to burn, and Jinkx squeezed her soft thighs together under the blanket, trying to keep herself in reality — they were just flirting, really, it was oh so innocent.   
In Dela’s reply, the older woman had brought her hand up to her face, dark red fingernails spread across her lips and cheek thoughtfully. Her eyes were playful. _Are you sure about that? I like good girls._  
Jinkx’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she drank in the seductive image and tried to wrap her mind around the caption. The way that Dela framed her lips and this close up of her thick fingers made Jinkx lick her lips. And god, “good girls.” The memory of Jinkx’s shower fantasy came flooding back to her and she groaned in frustration, clamping her thighs together again. Heart racing, Jinkx stared at her phone. This conversation had quickly started to feel like a runaway train, and Jinkx started to worry. She didn’t want to cross a line, didn’t want to force Dela into this, didn’t want to ruin their “getting to know you” phase by being too eager. But Jinkx reminded herself that Dela was half of this duo, doing half of the flirting, and that everything was going to be okay. Even then, it seemed unlike Dela to be into sexting — Jinkx knew she wasn’t that old in the grand scheme of things, but it seemed like Dela would want that physical interaction and find sexting too impersonal. But maybe this assumption would turn out incorrect.   
Jinkx made a pouty, innocent face. _I’m a good girl!_  
It was taking Dela longer than usual to respond, and Jinkx’s mind was whirring with possibilities as to why. Was she trying to get a good selfie? Was she also getting naked? Was she busy doing something else? Was she debating what to caption it with? Maybe she was touching herself? Oh, god — the mental image of Dela touching herself was enough to make Jinkx’s mind melt. Her strong fingers working over herself, her thin waist drawn in between her wide hips and bountiful breasts spilling over her chest, beautiful face scrunched in focus —   
New notification from Dela. Jinkx tore into it, only marginally disappointed when it wasn’t a picture matching her pornographic fantasy. It was another picture of Dela’s face, eyebrows raised faux-condescendingly. _Still a naughty liar, I see._  
Was Dela playing it safe, or was she still thinking this was just flirting, and Jinkx was just already off the deep end, carried away by her hormones and fantasies? Jinkx bit her lip, unsure of what to do. She knew what she wanted to do: send Dela a full-body nude and beg for her to call her a good girl. But if it wasn’t truly solicited or consented in the way that she thought it was, things would go very very badly.   
As Jinkx thought over her options, she received a second snap from Dela, tearing Jinkx out of her anxiety and back into the present. It was another picture of Dela from a higher angle, showing off her chest, neck, jaw and flowing hair. Her free hand was placed delicately on her collarbone, red nails resting on her skin. _If you want to be a good girl, you’ll have to prove yourself to Mommy._  
Jinkx’s jaw dropped and she let out a huff of air. Yes! This is exactly what she wanted, exactly what her body needed, exactly how she wanted to be treated. Jinkx rolled her hips into the couch and readjusted the blanket to show even more of the tops of her small breasts in her selfie. She bit her lip and looked innocently into the camera. _What do you want me to do, Mommy?_ She sent it before she could second-guess herself and tried to steady her breath and excitement. She realized that was the first time she had actually called Dela Mommy in a non-joking way and she lit up with excitement — it was all coming true, everything she had hoped for.   
Dela’s reply came quickly. Her face was more serious now. _Show me if you’re wearing clothes under there or not._  
Jinkx writhed around her in blanket, immensely excited, before throwing it off of her, exposing her entirely naked body to the cool air of her living room. It all came back to performance, underneath it all — here, they were performing their sexualities for each other, teasing and flirting, falling into roles that fit them so well. But suddenly, Jinkx felt a longing in the pit of her stomach. As much as her body was excited for this, it felt wrong for their first sexual experience to take place virtually. Jinkx wanted to experience Dela firsthand, tangibly, allow all of her senses to be wrapped up in her.   
The younger girl placed the blanket back over her, carefully designing a new seductive art piece to send to Dela. She kept two edges of the blanket an inch apart, creating a slit to show off her soft skin, running from her hip, over her stomach and up between her breasts. Jinkx arched her back into it and took a picture, finally settling on a take that looked almost as sexy as she wanted it to. _Why don’t you come over and find out?_ Her finger hovered over the send button anxiously. She knew that this is what she wanted to do, wanted to say, and how wanted the day to go, but it was such an important moment and such a daunting experience ahead. Holding her breath, she sent it.   
Less than a minute later, Jinkx received Dela’s reply in the form of a chat message. _Are you sure?_  
 _Yes? Unless that’s a bad thing, in which case, no?_ She cursed herself for not being more confident, but was also desperate to cover all the bases.   
_It’s not a bad thing, baby._ Jinkx felt comforted by the term of endearment. _I just want to make sure you don’t feel pressured or anything._   
_I was afraid I was pressuring you!_ Jinkx laughed quietly to herself, amused at this dynamic. She guessed that when they weren’t in the same space, that sort of psychic energy communication of their intentions that they usually have didn’t work in the same way.   
_No baby, you weren’t._ Dela replied, sending the message before Jinkx could finish the other half of her thought.   
_How about you just come over, we pick out a movie, see what happens?_  
 _Are you asking me to Netflix and chill? ;)_  
Jinkx laughed again. Dela was consistently a couple years behind in meme culture but always thought she was being so clever when she referenced one. Jinkx found it terribly cute. _Hahaha yes._   
_Alright. What’s your address?_  
Jinkx grinned, excitement tingling through her body. She sent Dela her address and instructions for how to get into her building.   
_I’ll be there in 20?  
Okay! See you soon!   
<3_

Just after sending the message, Jinkx realized the poor state her apartment was in. She leapt to her feet and hurried to make her apartment presentable, trying to think of every possible thing that Dela might see or interact with. Her bedroom was still in shambles from being only half-unpacked, and clothing was strewn everywhere. She remedied the problem by shoving everything back in her suitcase and sticking that under the bed. Jinkx caught her reflection in the mirror and paused, all of her attention now tuned to her appearance. She hadn’t shaved since being on tour, short little red hairs covering her legs, thighs, vagina. There was no time to deal with it now, she knew, and tried to remind herself that Dela wouldn’t care, despite her own insecurity. Besides, the question of what to wear was more important. She couldn’t just answer the door wearing only a blanket, could she? That definitely would be too forward, and taking off clothes was part of the fun. But what should she wear? Biting her lip, Jinkx slipped on a lacy black thong, something nice but not looking like she was trying too hard. She then put on the pajamas she was wearing earlier: a tight black spaghetti-strap tank top and soft black and white booty shorts. Jinkx turned her body in front of the mirror and decided she was satisfied, because she had to be. She hoped Dela didn’t come over wearing actual clothing, because then she would feel childish. She ran off to brush her teeth.   
Jinkx was in the middle of trying to clean off every possible speck of dust from her bathroom sink when the apartment buzzer sounded. Jinkx buzzed Dela in and did a final lap of her apartment, looking for anything she could have missed, hands wringing with anxiety. It was only Dela, but the prospect of what they would be doing tonight excited and intimidated every bit of her.   
Very soon, there was a knock on the door. Jinkx counted to five before opening it, both to seem less desperate and to calm herself down. She opened it, and there Dela was on the other side, looking even more effortlessly beautiful than in her snapchats. She was wearing that same v-neck white t shirt, but had added a dark red lacy bralette underneath it that showed through the thin fabric stretched over her large breasts. Jinkx hoped she had matching panties on underneath her black leggings.   
“Hi!” Jinkx greeted her, voice higher pitched and more strained than normal. She stepped aside to let Dela in.   
“Hello, treasure.” Dela’s voice was happy, smooth and calm. After stepping inside, the older woman turned to Jinkx and the two hugged, Jinkx feeling her attention be brought back into her body from her mental cloud of stress. She was caught up in that scent of roses, again, and suddenly realized how much she had missed its presence around her. After the brief hug, Dela started walking further into her apartment, looking around. “This is a nice place!”   
Jinkx laughed self-consciously. “It’s really not. Half my furniture came from the dumpster.” Wow, that was a remarkably un-sexy thing to say.   
Dela laughed in response, looking at Jinkx with knowing eyes. “We’ve all done that. It’s the best bargain you can find.” The older woman went and smoothed a hand over the turquoise blanket that was still strewn across the couch. “I’m so glad this thing is as soft as it looks. I would have been really upset if it wasn’t.”   
Through her giggles, Jinkx blushed, reminded of how heated their conversation had been before she had abruptly switched it to an invitation. She found that anxious knot growing inside of her again — what if she forced this too soon? What if this whole thing was forced? What if this gets awkward and sad and everything she’d wanted evaporates? She decided she had to ignore all of these worries and try to allow herself to integrate into these evening with Dela, see where it goes naturally, like they had agreed to all those days ago.   
“Do you want anything? Water, tea, uh…” she opened her cabinet, finding ramen, microwave popcorn, cheez-its, gummy bears and soy sauce, and decided that it would be better to not mention any of those.   
“Tea would be nice, actually,” Dela replied, coming over to lean on the other side of the small kitchen counter.   
Jinkx took down two mugs and filled them with water from the sink. As she was doing so, it occurred to her that this was an incredibly juvenile and embarrassing way of making tea — Dela probably had a water filter, a kettle and a teapot, like an actual functioning adult would have. Jinkx just had a sink and a microwave. Dela was watching her, so Jinkx decided to pretend like she wasn’t embarrassed, and stuck the mug into the microwave for a minute and a half.   
The older woman didn’t comment on her methods at all. “How have you been? Recovering alright?”   
Jinkx smiled, appreciative. No one ever really asked her how she was. “Hibernating” was her response as she fumbled with the wrapping of the tea bag. “I didn’t know touring would be that exhausting.”   
“That’s a great way to put it. Yeah, it’s a lot. You held up well though. I’ve seen some girls get snappy from being in such close quarters all the time, and others who can’t seem to handle the moments of freedom.” Dela ran her finger around the rim of a candle that was sitting on the kitchen counter. “You can’t drink your bodyweight in vodka the night before a show and then be surprised that you’re shit on stage the next day.”   
Placing the vanilla tea bag into the hot water, Jinkx laughed along with Dela. “That’s not just a touring problem for those types of girls though.”   
“Mm, that’s for sure.” Jinkx placed the mug in front of Dela, who accepted it with a grateful nod. “Ever so wise for your age, Jinkx.”   
The younger girl smiled and leaned on the counter across from Dela, facing her. “And how are you? Hibernating too?”   
Dela bobbed the tea bag up and down in her mug before as she spoke. “Oh I’m fine. I’ve done this enough times.” She stood up straight and brought her tea over, placing it on the coffee table by the couch. “I won’t say it gets easier with age, but it gets easier with practice,” she mused whimsically. Dela sat down on the couch and clutched the soft turquoise blanket to her chest, at ease. “Mmm, this is mine now,” she proclaimed, looking over at Jinkx with a challenging smile.   
“No!” Jinkx laughed, surprised at how juvenile her own voice sounded. She came over and got on the couch next to Dela, sitting up on her knees. “Come into my house, take my tea, claim my things, who do you think you are?” She extended her hands to grip into the blanket that Dela had pressed to her chest, though without trying to tug it away.   
Dela lifted her eyebrows, looking over at Jinkx. “A huntress, excellent at laying traps.” As Jinkx was starting to process what in the world Dela might mean, the older woman reached over and grabbed Jinkx by the hips, pulling her onto her lap so the younger girl was straddling her.   
Jinkx gasped and the two women laughed together, Jinkx’s more of a childish giggle than the older woman’s grin. She instinctively brought both her hands up to rest on Dela’s shoulders. “You caught me!” Jinkx played along. She felt somehow exposed in this position on Dela’s lap, like her body was being offered to her, open for her to interact with. She liked it.   
The older woman looked so beautiful, looking up at her from below. Dela’s long, shiny, dark hair splayed out around her and small pearls glinted on her earlobes. Her face was entirely makeup-free and her light skin glowed in the early-evening light coming in from the window, the faintest blush shining on her cheeks. Jinkx could see slight crow’s feet around her eyes and lines around her pink lips but these didn’t detract from her beauty, rather only adding to the experience that was Dela — she just wanted to look at her longer, take in every detail that made Dela her gorgeous self.   
“I’ve got the blanket, and I caught the girl.” She looked around, surveying the apartment. “I think that means I own this place now.”   
Jinkx giggled and rolled her eyes, leaning forward into Dela’s body. “If you want to pay my rent, you can definitely have it.”   
Dela laughed and wrapped her arms all the way around Jinkx’s waist, bringing her into a hug again. Jinkx found her face buried in Dela’s hair, emitting another sweet floral scent, and felt her heart soar at the other woman’s generous warmth. After the brief hug, Dela pinched her lightly on the side and Jinkx yelped and recoiled, nearly leaping off Dela’s lap altogether but Dela’s hand on her lower back held her steady. “You’re so cute.”   
With a flutter of her heart, Jinkx felt herself blush. It wasn’t like her to act so childish, but somehow right now their dynamic worked out in such a way as to make her enjoy feeling young and small. “God,” Jinkx caught herself, lifting a hand to shield part of her face from the older woman. “It’s you who gets me to act this way.”   
Red-tipped fingers slid down to rest on the tops of Jinkx’s bare thighs, and Jinkx couldn’t help but be excited by it. Dela drew designs over Jinkx’s pale skin absentmindedly with one of her fingernails as she spoke. “Well do you like it?” she asked, subtle caution in her voice.   
“Of course I do,” Jinkx was quick to reply. She realized that she hadn’t actually thought that over before she spoke — enjoying this dynamic had just seemed like a natural fact to her.   
Dela bit back a wide smile. “You actually called me Mommy over snapchat earlier,” she noted. “I was impressed.”   
Jinkx blushed deeper, but tried to remain stable. “I’ve called you Mommy before,” she protested half-heartedly.   
“Mmm,” Dela hummed skeptically. “You have, but you never meant it.”   
Jinkx smiled and settled further into Dela’s lap, fingers playing with a piece of her dark hair by her neck. “Who’s to say I haven’t meant it?”   
The mood of the room was slowly shifting, energy converting from bubbliness to something more sensual. Dela’s voice was lower and more calm, but not without amusement. “Over snapchat you said it for my sake,” Dela’s hand lifted slightly and smacked her lightly on the out side of her upper thigh, “not for yours.”   
Jinkx let out a low, breathy laugh and sucked her lower lip into her mouth.   
One of Dela’s hands slid up Jinkx’s side, coming to rest on her shoulder, thumb sliding over her collarbone. “So, I have to know.” Jinkx looked down at her, expectantly waiting for the other half of Dela’s question. “Were you naked under that blanket?”   
Jinkx laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder before narrowing her eyes down at the older woman in a playful challenge. “What do you think?”   
Dela’s fingers ran over the thin piece of elastic fabric serving as a poor excuse for a tank top strap on Jinkx’s shoulder. “I don’t think you were.”   
The younger girl shrugged playfully, eyes angled away, making an innocent face. “Maybe!”   
Dela laughed and pulled at the spaghetti strap, playfully letting it snap down on Jinkx’s shoulder. Jinkx’s face switched into an expression of genuine surprise, and she made an indignant gasp.   
“What?” Dela laughed at Jinkx’s reaction.   
“That hurt!” Jinkx responded. She was genuinely surprised — it truly hadn’t hurt much at all, but the idea of Dela intentionally inflicting pain on her was more surprising than she would have expected it to be.   
Dela looked up at her in an amused smirk, grinning. “Did it?” she laughed. “Here, I’m sorry treasure.” She slid the strap off of Jinkx’s pale, freckled shoulder and brought her face closer in, placing a soft, brief kiss where the strap had snapped down onto her skin. “Is that better?”   
Jinkx’s body was whirring with all different types of feelings all at once. Primarily, that was the first time Dela had kissed any part of her, and the skin that her lips touched felt blessed. And to be treated with such care in this way made Jink feel so safe and comforted, but something about that act was also so hot — it was like Dela made being taken care of into something dangerous and sexy. Jinkx _liked_ it, she liked it a lot, and she felt her energy collect and stir inside of her.   
“Mm-hmm,” Jinkx replied with a nod.   
“Good. But baby,” Dela began, voice smooth, “you need to understand that that’s the kind of thing that’s going to happen when you don’t listen to Mommy.” Jinkx’s jaw slackened and her eyes widened, trying to pay close attention. “You’re gonna have to be punished.” Dela’s hand smoothed over her shoulder and her fingers traced Jinkx’s collarbone. Jinkx felt exposed and delicately cared for at the same time, and let out heavier breaths.   
“Why?” Jinkx’s voice was higher-pitched and breathy.   
“I can’t just let you go around being a brat now can I?” She smoothed a piece of hair behind Jinkx’s ear, looking into her eyes. “You have to learn how to be a good girl.”   
“Mmm.” Jinkx couldn’t stop it — the sound escaped her at those words, good girl. When she realized what she’d done, she blushed deeper, and lifted a hand to hide her face.   
“Is that right?” Dela laughed. She softly pulled Jinkx’s hand away from her face and brought it back down, pressing it onto her own chest and covering it with her own hand. “You want to be a good girl?”   
Jinkx blushed and giggled anxiously, shifting in Dela’s lap and avoiding eye contact.   
“Well do you?” Dela’s voice was expectant but not judgemental.   
This only made Jinkx laugh more, wishing she could hide her face from view but she knew Dela had her hand trapped for a reason. “It’s just so embarrassing,” she finally admitted.   
“Why do you feel embarrassed?” Her tone was kind.   
“I don’t know, this is just all so new to me…” Jinkx bit down on her lip, sharing with Dela through her gaze that she was being genuine.   
Dela smoothed her red hair at the top of her head. “I know it is, baby. Listen.” Jinkx nodded. “I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. Do you understand? Please, if you don’t want to do something, please say so. I won’t ever be upset with you for not wanting to do something sexual with me. Okay?”   
Jinkx nodded. “Okay.”   
“Promise?”   
Jinkx nodded again, slower, more genuine this time. “I promise.”   
“Good.” Dela brought the hand of Jinkx’s that she had been holding up to her lips and kissed Jinkx’s fingertips, making the younger girl sigh.   
“I,” she began, still embarrassed, “I still do want to be a good girl, though…”   
Dela smiled into Jinkx’s fingers before releasing her hand, bringing her now-free hand up to Jinkx’s head and playing with her hair. “I know you do, baby. Don’t worry about being embarrassed, okay? There’s nothing you could do that’s embarrassing, I promise.” Jinkx nodded, smiling softly, letting that resonate within her. Both hands placed lightly on Jinkx’s face, Dela pulled her gently down towards her. “Mommy’s gonna take good care of you…”   
As Jinkx realized what was happening, she was struck with violent butterflies, but they immediately melted away as Jinkx’s and Dela’s lips finally touched. Dela’s lips were softer than Jinkx could have imagined, and they felt so full against hers. Jinkx’s body was alight like it was full of firecrackers and she pressed herself into Dela, giving herself to her, wanting to be absorbed in the older woman’s warm world. Dela’s kisses showed the experience of age, and for a flash Jinkx worried that maybe she wasn’t a good kisser and Dela would be disappointed, before reminding herself that there was no embarrassment here and she was supposed to learn and grow. Jinkx leaned into the kiss, kissing the older woman more passionately, trying to share her gratitude, need, affection, respect, desire, everything, through her mouth. Dela hummed quietly beneath her and pressed her hands into Jinkx’s lower back, pulling her closer, and Jinkx felt a spark of fulfillment from knowing that she was causing this magnificent woman pleasure. Jinkx wove her fingers into Dela’s hair, the strands soft against her skin, and pulled her head in closer. Dela responded by darting her tongue across Jinkx’s lower lip, eliciting a gasp from the younger girl, and Jinkx felt a smile playing on Dela’s mouth as she kissed her. Jinkx parted her lips further and Dela got the hint, sliding her tongue in to brush against the redhead’s. A shiver of excitement shot through Jinkx’s entire body, going straight to her pussy, and she whined softly into Dela’s mouth. Dela hummed in response and continued their passionate open-mouthed kiss, hands exploring the smaller woman’s tight young body eagerly as she moaned above her. Her fingers traveled up Jinkx’s thigh and under the hem of her already criminally short shorts, finding lacy fabric underneath, which she tugged on and let snap back against Jinkx’s skin, perhaps to make some kind of a point.   
Ever more comfortable and ever less satisfied, Jinkx pressed herself into Dela, breath quickening as the other woman worked her mouth against hers. She began to squirm in Dela’s lap, wanting more — more of Dela’s mouth, more of her tongue, more of her hands, more Dela, everywhere. Dela took Jinkx by the hair and carefully pulled her head back, exposing her neck for her to kiss. When her lips touched her sensitive skin Jinkx sighed and shivered, eyes shut, all of her attention on how incredible the feeling of Dela’s lips on her skin was. Jinkx hadn’t been touched this way in years, and Roxy, that manipulative bitch, wasn’t nearly as good at this as Dela was. Jinkx felt herself instinctively start to close off, felt her walls start to build back up, as soon as she was reminded of Roxy. She had successfully shut down those memories of her high school girlfriend — well, hardly a girlfriend, in fact quite the opposite — for years, but all of a sudden they were flooding back, and Jinkx felt distant from her body. Roxy had come back to ruin something for Jinkx yet again, as she always had.   
Apparently Jinkx had stopped responding in the same way, or Dela could sense her energy change, as she stopped kissing her neck, already-loose grip on her hair slackening. “Are you alright?”   
“Yeah.” Even Jinkx could tell that her voice was not convincing.   
Dela released her completely, moving her hands to hold Jinkx delicately. “What’s wrong?”   
Jinkx sighed, reluctant but remembering she had promised Dela she would talk if she was uncomfortable. “It’s nothing really, I’m fine, sorry, it’s just that, uh, it’s been a while, you know, and,” she avoided eye contact with Dela, “last time I did this wasn’t so great. It’s fine and all,” she was quick to try and recover, “you didn’t do anything wrong I promise, I just, was reminded of someone I’d rather not be, is all.” Jinkx was struck by the uncharacteristic amount of wariness and apologies in her voice as she spoke.   
She could see the deep sadness and care in Dela’s eyes, who just shook her head. The older woman brought her arms around Jinkx and pulled her in, bringing Jinkx to press herself against her, face buried in her dark hair. “Do you want to talk about it?” she offered gently.   
“It isn’t that bad,” Jinkx said, voice small. “I was thinking about how much better you were than her, actually.” She realized that that probably didn’t sound like much of a compliment. There was a pause and Jinkx sighed. This was the first time that anyone had asked her about this and actually cared, she realized. This was the first time she had an opportunity to talk about it. “We had been friends since we were kids,” Jinkx began. “Her name’s Roxy; she always spelled it with three x’s because she thought it made her interesting, if that gives you an idea of what kind of person she is.” Dela laughed sympathetically. “When I was 15, I realized that a lot of that friendship was actually me having a crush on her. She, she was the reason I realized I liked girls in the first place. Eventually I got up the courage to tell her, and…” Jinkx paused, jaw clenched. “Just, a lot of bad stuff. When I first told her, she laughed in my face, and it only got worse. She would make fun of me and call me a lesbo and a dyke, but then would try and kiss me? And she would tell me I could be her girlfriend if I did certain things for her…” She heard Dela tsk in disappointment. “All of junior year, we would get drunk and have sex, but then after she would talk about how gross and bad it was, even though she liked it when we were doing it?” Jinkx cringed at the memories, voice weak and afraid. Beneath her, Dela stroked Jinkx’s back comfortingly. “And…” Jinkx sighed, trying to steady herself. “One day, she decided that because I couldn’t go to the mall with her, it would be proper revenge to tell my parents that I was a big gross lesbian.” Dela made a sound of sympathetic disgust. Jinkx laughed pathetically. “That didn’t go well.”   
“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Dela’s voice was dripping honest with love and care, and Jinkx wanted to immerse herself in it. She smoothed a strong hand over her back. “That is absolutely horrible.”   
“I guess,” Jinkx tried to dismiss it.   
“No, really. That’s abuse, that isn’t okay.”   
Jinkx felt a part of her freeze. She had never put that word to it before. “It is?”   
Dela took Jinkx by the shoulders and gently encouraged her to sit back up so she could make eye contact with her. “Yes, Jinkx. That is abuse. It is absolutely unacceptable that you were treated that way.”   
She felt almost dizzy. Abuse was such a strong word, and she never would have thought to apply that to that situation, but she had to believe Dela. Jinkx slowly became overcome with emotion and her eyes filled with tears — she had talked about this for the first time in her life, had been validated and told it was abuse, and comforted and taken care of, all at once.   
The older woman noticed Jinkx starting to cry. “Hey, come here.” Delicately, she set Jinkx next to her on the couch and wrapped the soft blanket tightly around her entire body, but Jinkx protested, immediately climbing back into Dela’s lap. Dela laughed lightly and welcomed Jinkx as the younger girl buried her face back in her chest. Dela placed the blanket over both of them, then.   
She smoothed Jinkx’s hair and let her cry on her chest, waiting until Jinkx’s tears began to subside before saying, “you know, I was married once.”   
Jinkx resurfaced to look at Dela, surprised. “You were?”   
“Mm-hmm. To a man.”   
Jinkx’s eyes widened — it hadn’t occurred to her that that could even have been possible.   
Dela wiped a tear from Jinkx’s cheek. “I was only twenty. We met in college — I dropped out to become a housewife and he stayed in school. Engineering. I think I always knew I was gay, even then, but I wanted so desperately to be normal that I forced myself to stay with this man I told myself I was attracted to. A couple years in, I confided in him that I was questioning if I might like girls, and he told me I was wrong, I was just being stupid,” her voice started to crack, “that if he married a dyke he’d beat me silly.”   
Jinkx felt her stomach turn and she latched onto Dela, clinging to her as if to remind her that she was safe, and that she needed her to be there with her now.   
Quiet and sad, she continued. “I got out, eventually, of course. Convinced him I wanted a divorce for different reasons. Moved all the way across the country, met Chad, been dancing here ever since, for the last 13 years.” Dela sighed, steadying herself, bringing her eyes back to meet Jinkx’s. “All this to say, I understand. It’s terrifying to be a lesbian in this world.” She took Jinkx’s smaller hand in hers. “But all those people who hurt us were wrong. There is nothing bad or disgusting about us. And I know it’s easier to say that than to truly live it, but I also know that it’s possible to live it, too.” Dela stretched up and placed a kiss on Jinkx’s forehead. “You’re a light in this world, and you deserve to feel loved, safe, and taken care of. And you deserve to have sex with women without feeling shamed for it, but also shouldn’t feel pressured to do so.” She gave her a knowing look. “You’re okay.”   
Jinkx threw herself back into Dela, sobbing into her chest. No one had ever spoken to her with that amount of love, care and understanding. She felt so cared for that it was almost unsafe — a part of her was paranoid, terrified that it must be some kind of a plot, that one day she would find out this was all a big joke to make her trust her. But Jinkx refused to feed into her doubt, instead focusing only on the good, training herself how to be open to being cared for. Dela’s story was incredible, and Jinkx felt so much less alone in the world. Dela was able to survive her relationship and grow into a functioning adult who could be intimate with others — exactly what Jinkx was struggling with right now. Dela was everything Jinkx wanted and wanted to be. She sobbed unashamedly into Dela’s chest, body wracked with the overwhelming mixture of safety and fear and understanding and relief, until no more tears came.   
“Thank you,” she finally muttered, voice weak. Jinkx pulled herself back up and wiped the tears from her face. “Thank you, thank you.” She wrapped her arms around her best she could and squeezed Dela tight. “You’re so strong, Dela… I’ve never felt so understood or safe in my life.”   
“Jinkx,” Dela sighed, voice compassionate, hugging the younger girl back. “You deserve safety and understanding. Please remember that.”   
Jinkx nodded. Dela wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks as Jinkx smiled weakly. Jinkx let out a shaky laugh. “I’m sorry I uh, interrupted us with this.”   
Dela looked at her, face serious. “No. Don’t be sorry. That’s exactly the kind of thing we need to be able to talk about. It’s like I was saying earlier — if you get uncomfortable, tell me.”   
“Right,” Jinkx responded with a nod. After a moment, she smiled again, still carrying the weight of the tears. “I still wish we could’ve kept making out though.”   
Dela smiled with her and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. “There’s always more time for that.” She winked, and Jinkx giggled, running her hands over Dela’s arms. The older woman brushed her thumb against Jinkx’s chin. “You want to watch that movie now?”   
Jinkx remembered the pretense under which she had invited Dela over and laughed again. “Sure. I can make popcorn.”   
“I can do it,” Dela responded immediately. “You stay here and pick out the movie.”   
Jinkx rolled her eyes teasingly and being given orders. “Yes mommy,” she joked. She plugged her laptop into her television and clicked through Netflix. Her watch history was embarrassing, and she was glad Dela wasn’t looking -- it was all various anime series, plus Sex Education, the Office and Blue Planet. She realized that she had absolutely no idea what Dela liked to watch.   
“Ugh,” Jinkx complained. “None of this looks good.”   
Dela looked over from the microwave. “Did you see they put the Little Mermaid on?”   
Jinkx raised her eyebrows in amused surprise. “Do you want to watch that?”   
“Why wouldn’t I?” The microwave dinged and Dela peered inside. Jinkx realized that in order to find the popcorn, Dela would have seen the pathetic state of her cabinet.   
She wouldn’t have expected Dela to like Disney movies, but when she thought about it more, it made sense -- maybe that was why she was so damn sweet. Jinkx pulled it up and waited for Dela, who soon made her way back over to the couch and set the hot popcorn on the coffee table.   
“I couldn’t find a bowl big enough,” she explained why the popcorn was still in the bag.   
“Yeah, there isn’t one,” Jinkx shrugged. She looked over at Dela. “Are you ready?” Dela nodded and Jinkx pressed play, going around and turning off the lights, leaving the two of them in darkness. She curled up next to Dela and the two women leaned on one another, crunching on the popcorn, involved in the movie.   
Soon, Jinkx shuffled, shifting so she laid down, head on Dela’s lap, facing the screen. Dela giggled and grabbed the turquoise blanket, throwing it over Jinkx’s lower half. “There. You’re Ariel now.” Jinkx giggled and grinned up at her.   
Dela started to stroke her hair gently, skilled fingers so comforting against her head, and her thighs were soft pillows beneath her. The movie looked weird from this angle, and Jinkx blinked. Her eyes felt tired and heavy from crying so much, and the screen was so bright. Maybe if she just closed them for a minute…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I keep pulling a bait and switch with smut and angst. They’re just such ~complex female characters~, and I’m just such a tease. The next chapter though… hm… >:-) 
> 
> P.S. I am also working on a part 2 for Sugar Mama (my very smutty kinky fic where Jinkx is "Mommy") so my updates may be more spread out as I am trying to write both fics at once!


	5. Chapter 5

It was dark. And quiet. Too dark, and too quiet. Jinkx’s eyes popped open, finding the TV screen off. Had she fallen asleep?! She must have. What time was it? Jinkx sniffed and coughed, trying to get reacquainted with her body, and felt something touch her arm. She jumped.  
“I didn’t mean to scare you!” came Dela’s voice, hushed and sweet.  
“Mmph,” Jinkx grunted. “What time is it?”  
“Only ten thirty-ish. The movie just ended.” Dela giggled above her. “I can’t believe you woke up as soon as I turned the TV off.”  
“I’m sorry,” the younger girl mumbled. “I wasn’t planning on falling asleep, I promise.” Her voice sounded weak and sleepy.  
“It’s okay, treasure.”  
“Mmm,” Jinkx hummed contentedly. “I love it when you call me all those little names.”  
“Yeah? I’ll remember that.” Dela sounded like she was smiling.  
Slowly and carefully, Jinkx sat up and stumbled over to turn on the floor lamp. Both women made a sound of pain as the light suddenly hit their eyes. She flopped back on the couch next to Dela, eyes squinting in the light. “Hey.” Her brain was fuzzy — she didn’t know what else to say.  
Dela smiled and poked her. “Hey.”  
Jinkx didn’t have the effort to retaliate. Sleep still in her voice, she asked, “what do you wanna do now?”  
“Well it seems like you should get some sleep.”  
“No, I just did!” Jinkx was quick to protest, despite the tiredness in her voice.  
Dela nodded as if to acknowledge she had a point, but then she said, “either way, I should probably go home soon.”  
Jinkx felt her heart drop. She had wasted part of a precious evening with Dela by falling asleep, and it felt painful to recognize. “No,” she began to protest, before doubling back, trying to seem less childish than she suddenly felt. “I know you’re right, but, I don’t want you to.”  
“I know.” Dela’s tone was sympathetic, perhaps overly so. It occurred to her — Dela wasn’t her girlfriend, wasn’t her partner, wasn’t her mother, wasn’t even someone who she knew well at all — she was a coworker that came over expecting to have sex, and instead Jinkx cried on her and then fell asleep on her. It was embarrassing, and it made Jinkx want to shut her out. Jinkx chewed on the inside of her lip; she felt like a child, suddenly so desperate and needy for this older woman, but this was exactly the reason why she couldn’t stay. “What’re you thinking about?” She must have had a concentrated or worried face on.  
Remembering that second night on the tour and how she had made Dela promise to not shut her out again, Jinkx swallowed her desire to put up a wall and decided to be honest. “I feel stupid,” she admitted with a shaky laugh, running her hand through her hair. “I barely know you. You came over here expecting sex, and instead I cried on you and then fell asleep.” Jinkx sat back on the couch, looking forward, away from Dela. “And now I’m pouting that you have to leave! Like a fucking child! I should be able to handle this like the grown woman that I am, but no, I have to pull all this stupid shit.” She bit her lip, and realized that even this reaction of feeling stupid was childish in its own.  
“You’re not stupid. Being triggered from past abuse is not stupid. And falling asleep during a movie is hardly childish — in fact, I’d say that makes you almost elderly.” Jink fought back a smile. “And you’re right, we do barely know each other, but that’s the point — tonight you learned that I used to be married, and I learned that you fall asleep during movies. These are important pieces of information.” Jinkx finally smiled, looking over at Dela with thankful eyes. The older woman reached over and placed a hand on her arm. “Jinkx, I feel grateful that you feel safe enough around me to be genuine with me. It’s a privilege to have you cry and sleep on me. Really.”  
Jinkx let out a mocking groan and rolled her eyes playfully. “You are too nice to me!” She sighed and scooted over to Dela, giving her a hug. “Do you know how incredible you are?”  
“Thank you,” Dela responded with a smile.  
“No, seriously, do you know?” Jinkx pressed. “Because you really… I’m not exaggerating when I say that no one has ever been so kind and good to me. You have so much wisdom and care and love inside you, and you share it so openly. It’s beautiful.”  
Dela smiled more, looking away, seeming to not quite know how to take that compliment. “Thank you, treasure.”  
Jinkx looked at her expectantly.  
“What?”  
“Say it. Say ‘I know I’m incredible.’”  
Dela laughed. “Really?”  
“Really!”  
Dela sucked in her bottom lip and nodded, taking her time before finally saying, “I know I’m incredible.”  
Jinkx could tell she didn’t fully believe it, but decided to cut her some slack. She grinned and pulled Dela into a hug. “Thank you Mommy,” she sang, and Dela laughed along. When they pulled out of the hug, it was evident on Jinkx’s face that she had an idea, and Dela raised an eyebrow in question. “Mommy…” her voice was softer now, as if she was leading up to something.  
With her eyebrow cocked, Dela replied, “yes?”  
Jinkx climbed back onto her lap, straddling her like earlier. It was her turn to brush the hair out of Dela’s face. “You take such good care of me, I wanna repay you… I wanna make you feel taken care of, too — I want you to show you how incredible I think you are.” She ran her fingertips over Dela’s shoulders and collarbones.  
Dela smiled up at her, taking in Jinkx’s sweetness. “Is that right, angel?.”  
Jinkx licked her lips lightly. “Mm-hmm…” She leaned down, bringing her lips back to Dela’s, reuniting them in a kiss. Dela hummed lightly beneath her and Jinkx felt the warmth of it go straight to her chest, feeling fortunate to be able to bring this woman pleasure. Jinkx pressed her body closer into Dela’s, whose hands were back on Jinkx’s lower back, sliding down to cup her ass. Their tongues touched and Jinkx whined, deepening the kiss, ever more desperate for more Dela. She ran her hands over the older woman’s hair, jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, everything, trying to take all of her in. Her skin was soft and warm and smooth beneath her fingers. Their kiss grew wetter, tongues more eager. Dela sucked in Jinkx’s bottom lip, eliciting a groan from the younger girl, who pushed her hips down into Dela’s lap.  
Jinkx moved her mouth down to Dela’s jaw and to her neck, leaving wet kisses on her sensitive skin. Dela sighed, eyes closed and mouth hanging open, looking like the most beautiful thing Jinkx had ever seen. Knowing that she was bringing this woman pleasure was enough to stir Jinkx, to make her brain foggy, to fill her with desire and passion. Jinkx licked and sucked on Dela’s skin without insecurity, falling into her magical magnetism.  
“Yeah, baby,” Dela sighed in encouragement, eyes half open.  
As she kissed Dela’s neck and chest, Jinkx slid a hand from Dela’s shoulder to cup one of her breasts, still held up by the bralette beneath her white t-shirt. It was heavy, full and warm in her hand, and was so large that Jinkx couldn’t cover the whole thing with one of her hands. She felt Dela subtly arch her back, pushing her chest into Jinkx’s hand, and Jinkx started to run her fingertips over where she guessed her nipple would be — it was hard to tell, through the cotton and textured lace, but she soon found it, a small hard nub trying to poke through. She ran her fingers over it gently and heard Dela suck in a small breath, and looking up, found the older woman looking at her through eyes half-closed from pleasure. As she applied more pressure, Jinkx was reminded of her fantasy in the shower, and how she really doesn’t know what she’s supposed to be doing, but she was determined to make Dela feel good. Jinkx brought her mouth back down to kiss all of the skin on Dela’s chest that was exposed by her generously cut t-shirt. Jinkx noticed that Dela’s skin was slightly looser, softer than hers, with a few more spots and marks of age, and she liked it — all of the reminders that Dela was older than her only made Jinkx feel more secure, and more turned on.  
With a sigh and a hum, Dela brought a hand to Jinkx’s chin and encouraged her to bring her face up, locking them in a passionate kiss once again. Jinkx continued to palm at Dela’s breasts, running her fingers over her nipples and enjoying the small sighs of pleasure the older woman made whenever she did. Dela brought both of her hands to Jinkx’s breasts, cupping and caressing them, and Jinkx felt herself light up, excited for this new experience with Dela and for all the pleasure it would bring her. The older woman began to brush her fingertips against Jinkx’s nipples over the thin fabric of her shirt and Jinkx gasped and broke the kiss, sitting back and focusing on the feeling. Dela’s touch was just as soft as her own, but her fingers were far more confident and knowledgeable in the way they played with her. With time, Dela’s fingers increased in their pressure against Jinkx’s sensitive breasts and the younger girl shuddered and sighed, finally deciding she’d had enough of the teasing, and tugged the black shirt over her head, letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor.  
Dela sighed, running her fingertips up Jinkx’s sides. “You’re beautiful.” They both knew this wasn’t the first time she had seen her breasts, she was a burlesque dancer for christ’s sake, but they also both knew and honored the significance of this context. Jinkx hummed and smiled on Dela’s lap and curled her back and hips, presenting her small, perky, pale breasts for the older woman. Quickly growing impatient, Jinkx took Dela’s hands and guided them back up to her breasts, making Dela laugh lightly. “So impatient.” Despite her bad behavior, Dela obliged, and started running her fingers over Jinkx’s nipples again.  
Mouth falling open, Jinkx squeaked and reached her hands out to grab onto Dela’s sides to steady herself. She had never been touched so expertly; Dela’s fingers were delicate and soft, touching her gently, but also so thick and precise, quick to work Jinkx up so her eyes were shutting on their own accord.  
“Does that feel good?” Dela purred, already knowing the answer, but amused at Jinkx’s reaction to such a gentle touch. She really hadn’t been touched like this before, had she? She was surprisingly innocent…  
The redhead sighed, opening her eyes again. “Yeah, mommy.” She felt her insides roll as she called Dela that name, finally saying it as it was meant to be used.  
At her response, Dela’s eyes darkened and she breathed out, visibly more aroused. She pulled Jinkx in closer by the hips and then brought a hand to the back of her neck, pulling her in closer, positioning her as if she were a doll. Jinkx’s hands curled in the fabric of Dela’s shirt and she gasped as Dela started to kiss Jinkx’s collarbone and moved her face downwards. Jinkx breathed quickly in anticipation and finally gasped as Dela took her nipple in her mouth, the spark of pleasure that it brought her shooting through her entire body. “Oh, Mommy,” she breathed, voice higher pitched. She smoothed her hands over Dela’s back and arched her body into Dela’s mouth. “Yes…” Dela’s warm, wet tongue worked over Jinkx nipple, firm yet gentle, and her other nipple was being serviced by Dela’s fingers. Jinkx whined and shuddered, overcome by shocks of pleasure gathering in her center. Dela’s eyes looked up and Jinkx looked into them, the erotic sight of the older woman sucking on her like this making her moan. She wove her fingers into Dela’s hair. “Oh, fuck.”  
Immediately, Dela stopped, removing her mouth from Jinkx’s tit to sit back and raise an eyebrow at her intimidatingly. “What did you just say?”  
Jinkx’s head was spinning, foggy from the pleasure and dizzy from its sudden lacking. “What?” She blinked. Oh, she remembered. “Um, I said fuck?”  
Dela tsk’ed and shook her head. “You should know better than to say bad words like that.”  
“I should?” She was genuinely as confused as she sounded.  
“It’s not polite,” Dela scolded. “Good little girls are polite. You want to be a good girl for Mommy, don’t you?”  
Jinkx bit her lip and nodded. She really did have a deep desire to be good for her. “Mm-hmm.”  
Dela raised her eyebrows again and corrected her. “Yes, mommy” she guided.  
“Yes mommy,” Jinkx repeated, “I want to be a good girl for you.”  
“Then you won’t use such dirty words in front of me again. Do you understand?” Her hand cupped Jinkx’s small breast and smoothed her thumb over her nipple lightly.  
Jinkx sighed from the pleasure of the touch and of being disciplined in such a way and nodded again. “Yes mommy, I understand.” At least she was a quick learner.  
“Good.” Dela tapped Jinkx on her ass twice. “Up,” she commanded.  
“What? Why?” Jinkx’s eyes were big, genuinely confused as to why she had to move. Dela gave her a do-as-I-say look and Jinkx stood, Dela following shortly.  
Dela took her by the hand and lead her to the bathroom. She stood in the doorframe and gestured to the sink. “If you want me to kiss you again, you’ll have to clean your dirty mouth.”  
Jinkx could feel herself throbbing. Really? She was being made to clean her mouth out for cursing? The classic punishment made her pussy throb, made her knees weak — something about being disciplined by this woman made her desperately turned on. She looked dumbly between the sink and the Dela.  
“Go on. Brush your teeth.” Dela looked at her expectantly.  
The younger girl fumbled for her toothbrush, added a spot of toothpaste and shoved it in her mouth. She looked forward, watching herself in the mirror, her small tits with their erect nipples bouncing with every circle of the toothbrush. Dela standing there in the doorway watching her made this all the more erotic; Jinkx felt trapped in to the small space by an authority figure, and she felt observed, in a way almost exploited, knowing that Dela was enjoying this sexually as much as she was. And most of all, she felt truly punished, held accountable for her actions by someone who could control what she did or didn’t do. It was a daunting prospect, but an exciting one. Jinkx never would have expected that she would like being punished, but there she was, breathing heavy and heat burning between her thighs.  
Jinkx scrubbed the bristles of her purple toothbrush hard against her outstretched tongue to show Dela that she was really going to have a clean mouth and determined to prove to her that she was good for her. She rinsed and spit and looked at Dela. “All done.” The childish proclamation surprised her and she felt another rush of excitement run through her.  
“Hmm, let me see,” Dela began, stepping into the bathroom. She took Jinkx by the hips and pressed her back against the counter and kissed her, sliding her tongue in her mouth. Jinkx moaned and grasped at Dela, pulling her into her, a fire deep in her body only being stoked by the feeling of Dela’s tongue on hers. Dela explored her mouth as if she owned it. After a minute of the wet kiss, Dela pulled back and brought her fingertips to rest lightly on Jinkx’s jaw. “Good job, baby. You’re all clean.” Jinkx looked at her with wide eyes, hoping to be called a good girl, but no such praise came. She guessed she hadn’t earned it yet.  
Nonetheless, Jinkx licked her lips and smiled, an innocent shine over a face dark with desire. “Thank you Mommy.” Her hands stayed holding Dela into her, not wanting to have them be separate again, and Dela took the hint. She kissed Jinkx again, sliding her tongue back into her mouth, and Jinkx whined. She licked and sucked on Dela’s lips and tongue, desperate for more, and her hands pulled on her shirt. Dela slid her hands down Jinkx’s sides and slipped them under her shorts and panties, curling her fingers into Jinkx’s tight ass. Jinkx squealed and giggled through their messy, open-mouthed kiss and Dela squeezed her ass once more, making Jinkx sigh.  
“Mmm,” Dela hummed between kisses. “Come with me to the bedroom, little one?”  
Jinkx’s insides stirred at the pet name and she moaned lightly. “Nnn, yeah.” It was so early, but she was already so far gone. The two untangled themselves from one another and Dela took her hand again, bringing her to Jinkx’s own bedroom. She smacked her ass lightly as she closed the door behind them and Jinkx squealed.  
“God you’re cute.” Jinkx looked over her shoulder to grin at the older woman, who was trying to find a light to turn on. Successful, Dela strode over to take Jinkx by the hips, pulling her in close so that Jinkx’s ass was pressed into Dela’s pelvis. Jinkx could feel Dela’s breath on the nape of her neck and it sent shivers down her spine. “So, baby,” Dela began, her voice quiet and soft. One of her hands slid up from her hips to trace designs onto the skin of her stomach, causing Jinkx to shudder. “You said you wanted to take care of me, show me how incredible you think I am.”  
Jinkx blushed — she had forgotten about that part. It was so easy for her to be submissive to Dela, so natural for her to get wrapped up in the older woman’s dominant charm.  
“You know what would really show me that?” The same hand slid up to roll her fingers over Jinkx’s nipple again.  
Jinkx sighed and pressed back into Dela. Despite the perverseness and danger of the interaction, Jinkx felt profoundly safe with Dela, always but especially now. “What?” she asked.  
Dela pressed soft, wet kisses along the back of Jinkx’s neck. “If I could make you come.”  
Jinkx let out a small whine — she couldn’t help it. The prospect made her head swim.  
“Would that be alright?” Her voice was warm and smooth in Jinkx’s ear, and it made her tingle.  
“Mmmm, yes,” Jinkx sighed, pressing herself back into Dela’s warm body and bringing a hand to meet the one resting on her hip. “Yes, please, mommy. I’ll be really good…”  
Dela placed a kiss at the base of Jinkx’s ear, making her shudder. “Will you? Will you be good for Mommy?”  
“Yes…” she sighed, sensitive skin attentive to all of Dela’s kisses.  
The older woman licked at Jinkx’s neck. “Gonna come really good for Mommy?”  
Jinkx whined, frustration in her voice, and her hips shifted, heat spiking between her thighs at Dela’s words. “Yes!” She whined and halfheartedly tried to push Dela’s hand down the front of her shorts. “Please,” she breathed, “touch me.”  
Dela let out a low, breathy laugh in Jinkx’s ear. “So eager…” Jinkx squirmed in her grasp and Dela smiled. “I’m gonna have to teach you how to be patient.”  
Jinkx huffed and twisted her hips in frustration.  
“Luckily for you, right now I’m eager too.” Dela slid Jinkx’s shorts and panties over her hips and let them fall to the ground. She smacked her ass again. “Get on the bed, I want to see your face,” she ordered, and Jinkx clamored to obey.  
Her small body only took up less than half of the bed, and her pale skin stood out against the dark floral pattern of her sheets as she laid there, completely bare and open for the older woman. From the bed, Jinkx watched as Dela stripped down to her bralette and panties, in a matching red as Jinkx had hoped. Her eyes drank in every curve and fold of her strong yet soft body, and Jinkx was excited by all of it, amazed that this gorgeous woman was hers to touch and be touched by. Dela slid onto the bed next to her smoothly, like a panther approaching its prey. And the way that Dela looked at her wasn’t any less predatory — her eyes were dark and cheeks flushed with arousal. “You’re so sexy…” Jinkx breathed as she watched Dela with heavy eyes.  
“Mmm,” Dela purred, sliding her hands up Jinkx’s thighs, pushing them apart as she did so, dark red nails standing out against Jinkx’s pale skin. “You’re so beautiful, baby.”  
She realized that this part of her body was the only thing that Dela had not already seen, and she was more than happy to share it with her. It occurred to Jinkx that Dela was this aroused because of this part of her body and the promise of getting to make her come, and this sent a wave of arousal through Jinkx’s being. Although she had a moment of feeling powerless, Jinkx truly did have so much power — Dela was drooling over her and all Jinkx had to do was exist.  
“Such beautiful legs.” She began to press kisses into the soft skin of Jinkx’s inner thigh. “Such a beautiful little pink pussy…”  
Jinkx moaned lightly at the praise and the touch. She leaned back into the bed, allowing herself to lie there while Dela surveyed her new territory.  
Dela kissed and licked her way up Jinkx’s inner thigh as her strong hands held her legs apart. Jinkx’s breath grew heavier as the warmth deep inside her grew even more excited and urgent; it knew it was finally its time. Dela placed a thumb on the outside of her pussy lips, tugging her open, and Jinkx gasped. “You’re so wet, baby. And I’ve barely even done anything.” She brought her other hand up and with the most delicate, gentle touch, ran a single fingertip slowly over the length of Jinkx’s pussy, from the base of her vagina all the way up to her clitoris. Jinkx hissed, all of her attention focused on the feeling that one finger on her. When it left, Jinkx whined. “Look at me,” Dela ordered.  
Jinkx sat up on her elbows and watched as Dela brought that fingertip between her lips and licked Jinkx’s shiny wetness off. Jinkx’s mouth fell open and her hips stirred downwards, desperate for more friction. Dela smirked and did the same thing again, running her fingertip over Jinkx’s pussy, with slightly more pressure this time, but this time she reached up and slid her finger into Jinkx’s mouth. Her lips accepted it gratefully, and Dela worked her finger inside Jinkx’s mouth, the younger girl tasting a hint of herself on her tongue.  
Dela smiled a wicked smile as she watched the younger girl suck on her finger with hungry. “That’s a good girl…”  
Instantly, Jinkx moaned, louder than expected. Finally, the praise that she needed! She bobbed her head quicker on Dela’s finger, not daring to let go.  
The older woman let out a quiet huff of arousal. “That’s right, I know you like that, don’t you? You like it when I call you a good girl?”  
Jinkx whined onto Dela’s finger, sliding her tongue against the woman’s fingertip.  
“You’re so beautiful, so sexy, such a good girl.” Her voice was low and husky, and she looked like she was enjoying how just simple words were making Jinkx wild beneath her.  
Jinkx huffed, sucking more determinedly on Dela’s finger, and her hips pushed down beneath her, desperate for any friction on her cunt.  
Dela let out a low moan as her hungry eyes steadily observed Jinkx growing needier just from her words. “You’re frustrated, aren’t you?” Jinkx whined. “I know, baby, I know.” She slid her finger out of her mouth and dragged it across her face, leaving spit to shine on Jinkx’s cheek and she held Jinkx delicately by the chin. “Don’t you worry, baby. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you, make all your frustration go away.”  
Jinkx moaned, mouth hanging open, and pushed her hips down into her mattress. “Yes, please,” she breathed, desperate and driven wild by Dela’s words. Dela started to kiss down Jinkx’s stomach and onto her upper thighs. Jinkx pressed her hips up toward Dela, the fire burning deep inside of her roaring in anticipation, so excited that she might break if Dela didn’t touch her soon. Jinkx could feel the precise motion of every movement of Dela’s lips and tongue on her thigh, moving ever closer to her wetness, and finally…  
Jinkx hissed and sighed as Dela ran her tongue up the length Jinkx’s pussy, as she had done with her finger minutes before. She bit down on her lip to try and keep herself from begging, even though she desperately needed more. Dela’s licks grew firmer, adding more pressure but still teasing, and Jinkx covered her face and whined.  
Dela laughed, and Jinkx could feel the rush of hot breath hit her sensitive lips. “Use your words, baby.”  
Jinkx huffed. “More, please…”  
“More teasing? Okay,” Dela responded cleverly. She returned to an even lighter touch.  
“No!” Jinkx cried, sounding remarkably childish and desperate, but beyond the point of caring. “More, harder, no more teasing, please…”  
“Oh, no more teasing,” Dela said in overexaggerated understanding. She started to kiss around Jinkx’s outer lips where her stubbly red hairs grew. “Are you sure?”  
“Yes! Mommy!” She was full-on pouting now. Jinkx removed her hands from her face to look down at Dela with desperation, only to see the older woman smiling devilishly up at her. Despite how sexy the sight was, it only made Jinkx pout more.  
“Mmm, you’re lucky I’m going easy on you tonight,” Dela hummed into Jinkx’s skin.  
Jinkx sighed in desperation, changing her approach. “Please, Mommy, take care of me…” She pushed her hips up toward Dela’s face. “Please, I need you.”  
With a smile, Dela purred, “now that’s a good girl…” She planted kisses across Jinkx’s skin, finally coming to wrap her soft lips around Jinkx’s clitoris and lick it lightly.  
Jinkx let out a high pitched moan and spread her legs instinctively, wanting Dela to be as close to her as possible. The feeling of her tongue on her extremely sensitive clit was the best she had ever felt. It made her brain turn to static and her body seethe with waves of pleasure. Jinkx laid back, eyes closed from the pleasure, mouth hanging open that she let out small moans through. Dela’s tongue slowly started to build more pressure on her sensitive spot. The more she moaned, the more generous Dela was with her tongue, making her moan more — it was a dangerous cycle.  
She had lost all outside awareness, not worried with how she looked or how loud she was being, completely involved in how Dela’s soft, wet, hot mouth was making her soar. Jinkx hissed as Dela started to run her long nails down Jinkx’s hips and thighs — the sudden sharp pain was heightened by the sensitivity of her skin, and it drove her wild. “Yeah,” Jinkx sighed in approval, not needing Dela to ask if she liked it for her to know what to communicate. Jinkx spread her legs wider and arched her hips into Dela’s mouth, the older woman getting the message and adding more pressure to Jinkx’s clit. Jinkx groaned and sighed, “Mommy… so good.” Dela hummed in response and Jinkx whined at the feeling of the vibrations on her sensitive clit. She reached down and placed a hand on Dela’s head, not pulling on her, just wanting to connect. The sight of the older woman beneath her, eyes closed, flushed face buried in her wetness made Jinkx moan; this was finally happening, and Dela was even hotter and better than she could have imagined. Dela’s eyes opened to see Jinkx looking down at her with her mouth agape, and Dela’s eyes narrowed, and she sucked more generously on Jinkx’s clit. The younger girl cried and sighed, hand gripping onto Dela’s hair and the other curling into the bedsheets.  
Eventually, Dela’s hand slid over from its place on Jinkx’s thigh and Jinkx felt gentle, thick fingertips start to rub the skin around her hole. She gasped and looked down at Dela. “Oh, yes,” she pushed her hips down, urging Dela to press into her. “Please, Mommy.”  
With her eyebrow raised, Dela removed her mouth from Jinkx’s clitoris, keeping her fingers rubbing small circles around her entrance. While Jinkx missed the feeling on her clitoris, she was grateful that Dela would be able to talk her through this, to both calm her and to tease her. “You want Mommy inside you?”  
Jinkx groaned and stirred her hips. “Nnn, yes.”  
The older woman placed a few kisses on Jinkx’s thigh. “You’ve done this before, right, baby?” Her voice was honest, sweet, and her eye contact shared in trying to give the younger girl comfort.  
Jinkx felt a small rush of embarrassment, but not a pang of shame — Dela knew that Jinkx was inexperienced enough to feel like she had to ask that question, and it was a fair one. But her concern made Jinkx feel small and young and safe, rather than inexperienced and afraid and ashamed like it could have. “Yeah, just, not a lot,” she replied, voice small.  
“Okay, treasure. I’m gonna go slow then. Tell me if you don’t like it and I’ll stop, okay?”  
“Mm-hmm.” Jinkx nodded.  
Dela lowered her head again and started to lick at the wet skin around Jinkx’s entrance. Jinkx moaned, eyes rolling — she had never been touched like that before, and it felt so good. She relaxed into the bed and let Dela pleasure her. The older woman worked her wet tongue all through Jinkx’s sensitive skin, the fire inside Jinkx absolutely roaring. Jinkx felt her start to push her tongue inside of her and she moaned out, subtly pushing her hips down to take more of her in. Dela ran her tongue over her entrance a while longer before seemingly deciding she was satisfied. She removed her mouth and coated her middle finger with spit before teasing Jinkx’s opening with her fingertip. Dela watched Jinkx’s face contort with pleasure and pain as she pushed her finger inside, and the younger girl whined in pleasure.  
“Okay?” Dela asked.  
“Ohh, mhm,” Jinkx confirmed.  
Dela slowly pulled her finger back towards her, and slowly pushed it back in. The little anxiety that Jinkx had had started to fade away and her muscles started to relax around Dela’s finger. Dela smiled and purred up at Jinkx. “That’s a good girl… you’re doing so well, baby.” The praise washed over Jinkx’s body like warm sunlight and she whined. Dela smirked, recognizing how much her words did to turn Jinkx on. “That’s right, little one. You’re taking Mommy’s finger so well.” Jinkx’s eyes fell shut and she leaned all the way back into the bed, only being able to focus on Dela’s words and how she felt inside of her. Dela started to work her finger quicker inside of Jinkx, sliding easily in her wetness. Her voice grew huskier and heavier with lust as she went on, “you’re so wet for Mommy.”  
This made Jinkx whine and curl her fingers into her sheets. This perverted praise made Jinkx crazy with lust — she was cared for by Mommy, but also punished by her; she was a good girl for being so dirty; she was being good for Mommy by doing the very things she was shamed for by her family and friends for so long.  
Jinkx stirred against the bedsheets, breathing heavy. “Mommy, more…” she begged.  
Dela’s voice was steady behind a layer of arousal. “Use your words.”  
Jinkx whined— her mind was too foggy with lust to know what to say. “More… fingers. Two fingers. Please?” She felt like a child with a limited vocabulary, and for some reason, she really liked that.  
“Only ‘cause you’ve been so good,” Dela purred and slid a second finger surprisingly easily into Jinkx. The younger woman moaned loudly, loving the feeling of being filled and warm. “Mmm, you take my fingers so well, baby. You’re being such a good little girl for Mommy to play with.”  
For some reason, that made something inside of Jinkx click, and she moaned out, starting to push her hips down onto Dela’s fingers more desperately. “Ohh, yeah,” she encouraged, prying her eyes open to find Dela looking up at her, face dark with arousal, lusty smirk playing on her features.  
“Look at you fucking yourself onto Mommy.” Dela didn’t break eye contact, and Jinkx hips worked faster. The older woman’s other hand dragged her nails down Jinkx’s hips again, and the pain sent a shock of arousal to her clit. “You look like you’re gonna come soon.” She lowered her face back down to press wet kisses on Jinkx’s inner thigh. “Are you gonna come? Gonna come real good for Mommy?”  
Jinkx’s whine broke into a sob as she fucked into Dela’s fingers. “Please,” she begged.  
Dela licked her lips, looking up at Jinkx. “Tell me what you’re gonna do.” She brought her mouth back to Jinkx’s clit and the younger girl cried.  
“I’m g—I’m gonna…” Dela moved her fingers faster, thrusting harder into Jinkx, and dug her tongue into Jinkx’s clit. Jinkx threw her head back, arching her back. “Gonna come r-real good, for Mommy…!” As she said it, her voice broke into a sob and her legs started to shake. She grabbed onto Dela’s head and fucked herself down into her, overcome by the incredible feeling of Dela filling her up and her warm mouth sucking on her clit, and Jinkx finally came with a cry, eyes shut tight and mouth agape, body shaking and convulsing with every wave of pleasure coursing through her. She moaned and shuddered, panting, still thrusting her hips down, working through every shock of her orgasm. “Ohh, god…” Eventually, she started to relax, removing her hands from Dela’s hair, allowing her shaky legs to rest, and let herself sink back into the mattress, parts of it damp from sweat.  
Gently, Dela pulled her fingers out of Jinkx. Jinkx looked down at her as she licked her fingers clean before messily wiping Jinkx’s wetness off of the lower half of her face with the back of her hand. Jinkx smiled weakly, dazed, and Dela returned it with a wider grin. She started to kiss gently up Jinkx’s body, beginning to pay her respects for being granted the privilege of making her come.  
The older woman settled in next to Jinkx in the bed, pressing up against her, one arm beneath her own hand and the other laying across Jinkx’s chest beneath her breasts. Jinkx turned to look at her, still looking dazed. Dela giggled. “Yeah?”  
Jinkx responded with another weak smile and a laugh. “Yeah.” She blinked heavily. “Sorry, still… waking up.”  
“Mm-hmm,” Dela responded happily, a laugh in her voice. She wrapped her arm tighter around Jinkx and pressed a kiss into her cheek.  
There was another extended silence before Jinkx finally said, “you are… amazing.” Dela giggled happily. “Really, I don’t…” she shifted to face Dela in bed, eyes still wide. “I’ve never felt like that before. I’ve never come that hard before.”  
Dela bit back a wide smile, clearly proud of herself, but also more invested in the excitement that she had been able to make Jinkx feel that good.  
“You’re like some kind of sex goddess or something.”  
At that, Dela laughed, and pulled Jinkx closer into her. “And you’re a work of art.” She slid her hand down Jinkx’s side hungrily, and Jinkx remembered that Dela was probably still incredibly turned on. “And really, you did so good for me, baby, I was very impressed.”  
The praise stirred Jinkx again, even though she was still recovering from her orgasm. She lowered her voice, new objective in mind, and slid an arm around to Dela’s back. “I love it — I love being good for you.”  
“Are you sure?” Dela said with a laugh. “I think you’re more of a brat. Are you sure you don’t just like it when I tell you you’re being good? Because there’s a difference.”  
Jinkx couldn’t help but laugh along with Dela and roll her eyes playfully. “Maybe you have a point.”  
“I know I do.” Dela continued to run her hand across Jinkx’s body, growing more eager.  
“Mommy,” Jinkx breathed with a hum. She ran her hand over Dela’s side, amazed at the drastic curves of her body. “You made me feel so good, you’re so sexy Mommy.” Jinkx licked her lips and looked up at Dela with wide eyes, easily falling back into her submissive mindset. She slid her hand up to paw Dela’s breasts again, still contained by the lacy bralette. Dela smirked, but not with the same clarity as always, instead clouded by arousal. Jinkx remembered how she had looked at her when she started to eat her out — dark, hungry, predatory, eager. She didn’t deserve to have to keep that contained any longer. “Mmm, let me make you feel good? Please?”  
The older woman let out a low, breathy laugh and squeezed Jinkx’s ass. “I can’t say no to that.” Dela slipped her bralette over her shoulders and tossed it to the floor, and Jinkx felt like her eyes might pop out of her skull. She had seen Dela’s breasts before out of the corner of her eye backstage and on tour, but this was a different experience entirely. They were large and full and smooth, and Jinkx wanted to stare at them, touch them, suck on them all day. Noticing her staring, Dela giggled and brought a hand up to grab one of them, squeezing it. “You like them?”  
“You’re a goddess,” was the only thing Jinkx could reply with.  
“Come on, you can touch me,” Dela encouraged. She laid back on her back and pulled Jinkx to straddle her like she had done on the couch.  
Jinkx put her hands on Dela’s breasts, taking a moment to marvel at their size and play with them. Then she looked to Dela and asked, voice soft, “Mommy, tell me what to do?” She wanted to put Dela back in charge, both because it was sexier that way and because she wanted to make sure she did what she wanted.  
She seemed to like that idea. “Mm, okay babygirl.” Dela pet at Jinkx’s thighs as she instructed, “gently, run your fingers over my nipples — yeah, just like that. Add more pressure, now…” Jinkx did as she was told, trying to mimic what Dela had done to her earlier. It seemed to be working — underneath her, Dela started to shift her hips in frustration. Jinkx started to experiment, tugging and twisting her nipples cautiously, each yielding an excited sound from Dela that only encouraged her to do more. When Dela began to really start to look frustrated, Jinkx repositioned herself to bring her face to her breast without Dela telling her to. She noticed Dela’s breath quicken in excitement as Jinkx took her breast in one hand.  
“That’s right, baby, lick me there,” Dela breathed, more of an encouragement than a command. Jinkx dragged her tongue slowly across Dela’s nipple and the older woman hissed in a breath. Excited by the reaction, Jinkx brought her mouth fully to Dela’s breast and started to run her tongue over her nipple like Dela had done to her. Dela responded in light moans and sighs, hands holding on to Jinkx grasping her more firmly. “Yes…” Dela encouraged. She looked so beautiful, radiant against Jinkx’s dark sheets, black hair shining in the artificial light. Jinkx wanted to make her come apart, see what she was really like beneath her many roles of dancer, nurturer, mommy, and domme. Jinkx worked her tongue and fingers across Dela’s nipples and the older woman started to huff with arousal. Jinkx made eye contact with her as she spoke, voice coated with a layer of desire, “you’re being so good, sucking on mommy’s tit like a good little girl, with your sexy little mouth.” The younger woman couldn’t help but respond to that with a moan, the praise gathering heat inside of her. It was then that she realized that Dela enjoyed giving praise as much as Jinkx liked receiving it, and she felt her own arousal grow again. Dela’s hips stirred more beneath Jinkx’s body still perched on top of her, and with a small whine sounding like a resignation to her own need, Dela commanded, “okay, enough, take off my panties.”  
Jinkx wanted to tease her, wanted to draw this out for longer, but she had told Dela to take control, and wouldn’t have known where to source her power from anyway. But, she could find small things to try between her commands; Jinkx kissed down Dela’s stomach, in a circle around her belly button, before coming to the sensitive spot on her lower stomach right above her lacy panties. As she kissed her there, she dipped her tongue beneath the waistband and Dela arched her hips slightly. Then, feeling remarkably clever, Jinkx grabbed onto the waistband of Dela’s panties with her teeth and started to tug them off. Dela graciously lifted her hips for her and Jinkx dragged them down to her mid-thighs before pulling them the rest of the way off with her hands.  
“That was cute,” Dela remarked with a smirk, but Jinkx was too hypnotized to come up with a clever response. She understood why Dela had looked at her the way she did, earlier — something about knowing you’ll be between a woman’s legs, making her moan and shake, was even better than the pleasure itself. Dela looked up at her, legs spread casually, face flushed and smiling, and Jinkx felt like her brain was going to short-circuit — she was too beautiful, too sexy for her to handle. But she had to, and she wanted to. She needed to make Dela feel amazing. Immediately, she brought her face down to Dela’s thighs, kissing her smooth skin, trying to imitate what the older woman had done to her earlier that felt so good. Her kisses were wet, touching her tongue to her skin. She loved how Dela sighed and shifted beneath her, clearly growing more aroused by her actions. Hers! She had the power to turn this woman on, to make her needy.  
As Jinkx’s face grew closer, Dela spread her legs wider and put her hands over Jinkx’s, pulling them further up her legs.  
Jinkx raised an eyebrow up at Dela, feeling clever. “Use your words.”  
The older woman huffed, half in play and half in resistance to Jinkx trying to take power. “It’s cute how you think you’re in charge.” She grabbed Jinkx by the hair and pulled her forward, up past her pussy to have her face over her, looking her in the eyes. With the way she was breathing and holding on to her, Jinkx realized that Dela must be even needier than she had been letting on. The older woman pet at Jinkx’s hair and face messily, eager to touch the younger girl and less concerned with being delicate. “You want to be a good girl don’t you?”  
Jinkx bit her lip, the words turning her on again. “Yes Mommy.”  
Dela pulled Jinkx down even closer to her and began to kiss her across her face messily, leaving Jinkx’s skin shiny with her spit. “You’ve been so good for me tonight, taking my punishment so well, taking my fingers, coming so good for me.” She sucked Jinkx’s lower lip into her mouth, running her teeth across it, and Jinkx moaned in pleasure and in pain. “Mm, there’s so much I want to do to you.” She pushed her tongue between Jinkx’s lips and a shock of pleasure shot through her, making her whine and push her hips down into Dela. Jinkx was surprised at herself — she had just come, but she was so turned on again. The younger girl slid her tongue across Dela’s eagerly, happily victim to Dela’s hunger.  
“Do it,” Jinkx finally responded, surprised at the eagerness in her voice. “Whatever you want to do, do it, I want it.”  
Dela let out a low huff that was almost a growl. “Don’t speak so soon, little one. You’re so innocent, I don’t want to scare you off.” Despite her claim, Dela’s hands groped Jinkx’s body eagerly, the wants of her body seeming to betray the logic of her mind. Jinkx opened her mouth to protest, but Dela stuck her fingers into the younger girl’s mouth. “Now shut up. I need to teach you how to eat pussy before we can use your mouth for other things.” Jinkx was shocked — this was hardly harsh by normal people standards, but by Dela standards, being told to shut up seemed outlandish. And, other things? Jinkx didn’t know there were other things. But she knew she desperately wanted to try them.  
Before Jinkx could process her shock, she felt Dela’s hand on her head, pushing her downward and positioning her mouth near her pussy. Just the sweet smell of her was enough to make Jinkx’s brain foggy, but being grabbed and positioned in such a way, like a doll or a child, made her moan mindlessly. Dela used the fingers she had put in Jinkx’s mouth to spread her lips, and Jinkx could see just how wet and shiny she was. It struck her that it was all because of her.  
Dela guided Jinkx’s face forward. “Come on baby, lick Mommy’s pussy.” Jinkx licked up Dela’s length like the older woman had done to her and Dela immediately groaned and shuddered. “Yes…” Jinkx pressed her face further into her, working Dela on the spots she thought might make her feel good. “Higher, baby — yeah, right there… open your mouth more, use the flat part of your tongue, see?” She pointed to her own mouth, leaning up on the bed, showing Jinkx how to do it. Jinkx automatically corrected herself and Dela moaned. “Ohh, yeah, just like that. So good, learning so fast…” Jinkx started to find a rhythm against Dela’s sensitive spot, paying attention to what patterns and places Dela liked more, what made Dela start to moan and quiver. Experimenting, Jinkx started to suck, and Dela jumped with a small cry. “Oh! A little gentler, baby!” Jinkx felt a little embarrassed, but turned that into determination, and corrected herself, treating Dela’s clit a little nicer. She learned that it was best to find a pattern and stick to it, rather than jumping around, and watched with hungry eyes as Dela’s arousal started to grow. Her hips started to fuck against her face and her fingers pulled her by her hair closer into her cunt. Jinkx’s jaw started to ache, but it didn’t matter, she needed to make Dela come, needed to watch her come apart for her, needed to make Mommy feel good.  
Dela started to breathe heavy, losing control of herself. She thrusted her hips into Jinkx’s mouth, panting, “ohh yeah baby, so good, you’re doing so good.” She pulled Jinkx’s face into her impatiently and groaned, “more.” Jinkx stuck her tongue out farther, pressing it harder in to Dela and giving her more to fuck against. Dela moaned, tilting her head back, fucking her hips down onto Jinkx. Jinkx noticed her thighs start to shake and press together, closing in on her face. “Ohh, fuck,” she breathed, and angled herself to look down at Jinkx. The eye contact made her work her hips faster, more desperately, and her lips started to leak perverted praise, “fuck yes, such a good girl, a good little baby girl sucking on Mommy’s cunt, so innocent, fuck.” She started to whine and her fingers pulled on Jinkx’s hair, hurting her and forcing her face into her wetness as her thighs shook around her. “Such a good little toy for Mommy to play with, letting me do whatever I want.” She brought a hand up to tug at her nipple and let out a high pitched moan, fucking her hips down wildly onto Jinkx’s tongue as Jinkx worked hard and fast against her, voice starting to break. “Making Mommy feel s-so, good, so —“ Dela broke into a silent sob, hips crashing down onto Jinkx’s face, body convulsing as she came. Her face was contorted into a mix of frustration and bliss, her pale skin now bright pink, and she held onto Jinkx’s head and her own tit for dear life. Her hips continued to move against Jinkx’s tongue as she worked through her aftershocks, only eventually releasing Jinkx’s hair from her steel grasp and falling back onto the bed, trying to catch her breath.  
Dazed, Jinkx sat up, eyes wide, and wiped off her mouth. She felt like the most privileged guest of an exclusive, exquisite piece of art. And the knowledge that she was able to work with Dela to bring her that amount of pleasure wracked her body with pride, desire, confidence, need. And the things Dela was saying as she came… they excited her, lighting up something deep and dark inside of her. She was already looking forward to more, next time.  
But more importantly, Jinkx was looking forward to the cuddles she knew Dela would be amazing at. Jinkx crawled up the mattress to lie next to Dela and nuzzled her head into her chest, kissing her skin. “Goddess.”  
Dela hummed warmly and groggily, wrapping her arms around Jinkx and pulling her in tight. “Princess.”  
Jinkx couldn’t help but giggle. She really liked that name. “Princess?”  
“Yep. That’s what I’m calling you now,” Dela responded matter-of-factly.  
“Okay. I like it.” She nuzzled her face further into her, unbothered by the light coating of cold sweat being pressed into her skin.  
Dela stroked at her hair, toying with the orange strands. “Thank you baby. You really did do well. I think I might have mentioned that already, but—”  
The two women laughed, bodies shaking against each other. “Maybe once or twice!”  
“Once or twice.” Dela squeezed her. “But really, I was impressed. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from you. I knew you’d be a little bratty, but that was it.” Jinkx wiggled in resistance to being called a brat. “You’re just proving my point.”  
Jinkx looked up at her and playfully rolled her eyes.  
“If I had the energy, I’d punish you for that.”  
Jinkx shrugged and played along. “I’d like it.”  
Dela shook her head, biting back a smile. “What have I done?”  
“Corrupting the youth!”  
Dela laughed and kissed Jinkx on the forehead. “Like it’s my job.” Dela ran her hands across Jinkx’s side. “And everything was alright? Nothing made you upset?”  
“No, everything was fine — I really liked all of it.”  
Dela angled Jinkx’s face up to meet her eyes. “Are you sure?”  
“Mm-hmm.”  
“Really really sure? It’s important that you tell me if you didn’t like something, treasure.”  
Jinkx paused, giving herself time to think. “Well, it kinda hurt when you pulled my hair. But that’s it.”  
Dela smiled, genuine and warm, looking at Jinkx like she was innocent and precious. “Okay princess. Thank you for telling me. I’ll be gentler next time.” She kissed her on the head again and Jinkx relaxed herself back into Dela’s skin. She noticed the faintest smell of roses, again, even after all of that. She wondered if it had been there this whole time and she hadn’t noticed — maybe she had started to get used to it.  
It started to really sink in to Jinkx that overall, beyond their performance of sex with one another, that Dela really did care for Jinkx and have her safety and wellbeing as a priority. This was something that Jinkx had known logically beforehand, but now, with all of Dela’s gentle questioning and the feeling of her warm body against hers, Jinkx was starting to know it emotionally, too. It was becoming beyond a knowledge of safety to a true feeling of safety, something that Jinkx was realizing she had never felt with another person before.  
“Dela…”  
“Hm?”  
Jinkx squeezed her lightly. “You make me feel so safe. Thank you.”  
Dela ran her hands over Jinkx’s body in a comforting way. “I’m so glad you feel safe around me. Your trust is a privilege.”  
Everything she did, everything she said, was right — was comforting, was generous, was loving. Jinkx continued to relax into the older woman, allowing her skin to soak up all of the pleasure and comfort of being held so intimately. She felt like she was being rehabilitated, rejuvenated. And, a little sleepy… Jinkx snuggled further into Dela and sighed and hummed. She had no concept of time passing; time was irrelevant, everything was irrelevant, the only thing that mattered was being held by Dela and being able to hear her heartbeat through her chest.  
At some point, Dela got up, stirring Jinkx out of her mostly-asleep state to only half-asleep. The younger girl watched through barely open eyes as Dela went into the living room, still naked, and returned to the bedroom with the soft turquoise blanket. The older woman laid it across Jinkx’s body gracefully and Jinkx purred at its soft embrace. As Dela started to tuck it in underneath the younger girl, Jinkx stuck out an arm, grabbing onto Dela’s wrist.  
The older woman looked at her, surprised. Jinkx tugged on her wrist, and Dela understood. “Jinkx…”  
“No.” That was all she wanted to say.  
Dela looked down at her, visibly regretful. “I don’t want to go either, but we both know I should.”  
“No.”  
Dela took a longer pause before continuing, “I can’t stay over on our first night doing this, I need to go home.“  
“No.”  
Dela looked down at her, biting her lip, taking her time to think about the consequences. “It is almost 1am…” Jinkx tugged on her again, and after a moment, Dela sighed, giving in to the desire they both had. “Alright.”  
“Mmm, yes.” Jinkx smiled sleepily. She released Dela’s wrist.  
This made Dela laugh lightly and she climbed gracefully into bed, reclaiming her earlier spot. “We just can’t make a habit of this.”  
Jinkx hummed, noncommittal. After Dela had settled back into her side of the bed, Jinkx flipped over and pressed her back into Dela. She reached behind her to grab Dela’s arm and wrap it around herself. “Little spoon.”  
Dela huffed a quiet laugh, pulling Jinkx tighter into her. “I’m sure you are.” She pressed sweet kisses into the younger girl’s red hair.  
Jinkx sighed and hummed as she relaxed entirely back into Dela. Her body was relaxed from sex and from being held, all of her nerve endings being soothed by Dela’s touch. With Dela holding her tight and secure, and the blanket covering every part that she wasn’t touching, Jinkx felt properly cozy, cared for, warm, and rehabilitated. Knowing she was safe and secure, it only took minutes for Jinkx to drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Right? I'm probably more relieved that these two finally fucked than you guys are, tbh.  
> On top of that, this was like a visual representation of the struggle between my desire for Dela to wreck me and Dela's protective nature. I had to fight myself to keep this more tame and in character, because I knew Dela wants to protect Jinkx even more than she wants to domme her. But it's only gonna get wilder from here. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! More coming very soon.   
> Please let me know if you liked it! And if you have any ideas, suggestions, or things you'd like to see, I'd love to hear that too. <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me absolutely forever to write, but I LOVE how it turned out.   
> Strap in, folks, it's a wild ride! 
> 
> Spoiler alert: We're gettin kinky today ~~~

“Ow, shit!” The exclamation of pain and the sudden clang of metal that immediately followed jolted Jinkx out of her sleep. She blinked and covered her eyes with her hand — it was bright outside. Had she already been asleep for that long? After her eyes recognized the light, her second sense that awoke was scent — the smell of pancakes filled her nose and all of the stress from the sudden awakening melted away from her. Yeees, pancakes. After a few moments, her brain started to catch up with her senses. Why the hell was she smelling pancakes? And wait — wasn’t Dela supposed to be next to her? Jinkx turned around to where Dela was supposed to be and found a note written in curly handwriting placed on the bed.   
_If I’m not here when you wake up, don’t worry, I haven’t gone far! Go back to sleep, I’ll be back soon.  
<3 Dela _  
Jinkx grinned. She was always so thoughtful and careful, and this was just another demonstration of that. It warmed Jinkx’s heart. Jinkx hummed and snuggled into her blanket, giving herself a few minutes to see if she was tired enough to go back to sleep. But the longer she stayed in bed, the more awake she became, and soon enough she was climbing out of bed, blanket wrapped around her naked shoulders, and heading to the kitchen.   
Dela heard her coming, and smiled at her over her shoulder. “Good morning princess! You look cozy.”   
Jinkx smiled, remembering her new name. “Good morning, I am.”   
“Did my clanging wake you up?” Dela was standing by the stove in her white tshirt and red panties from last night.   
Jinkx laughed, coming to rest her arms on the other side of the kitchen counter. “Maybe. But it’s fine. Are you alright?”   
Dela smiled in recognition. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just got a little burnt. It’s my own fault.”   
“Let me see,” Jinkx demanded. Dela held out her hand and Jinkx grabbed it and gently kissed her red fingertips.   
Dela smiled sheepishly at the care, but accepted it wholeheartedly. “Thank you.”   
As Jinkx watched her pour pancake batter onto the hot pan, Jinkx realized — “Wait a second. I don’t own ingredients to make pancakes.” Dela smiled over at her, pride on her face. “Did you go out and buy all of this?!”   
The older woman laughed, both confident and mischievous. “I did.” She grabbed an opened bag of chocolate chips. “Look! I bought chocolate chips too!”   
Jinkx stared at her, shocked. “You really woke up and your first thought was ‘let me go to the damn grocery store.’”   
“I woke up and my first thought was ‘holy crap I want pancakes.’”   
The younger girl laughed, accepting that logic. “And you didn’t even just buy pancake mix. You really bought flour, sugar, eggs—“   
“It’s criminal that you don’t own these things!” Dela protested, and Jinkx felt a little embarrassed. She knew Dela wasn’t thinking poorly of her, but she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed that she didn’t have basic ingredients. She worried that Dela would think she was too immature.   
“Wait, you’re not giving these to me. You’re taking all this home.”   
“Nope!” Dela flipped over the pancake in the pan. “Every woman should be able to make herself pancakes after a long night.”   
Jinkx wanted to protest, but all she could do was smile. “How long have you been up?”   
Dela shrugged. “Maybe 2 hours? What time is it?”   
“I actually don’t know.” Jinkx went into the other room to retrieve her phone. She tried to ignore the slight sadness she felt when she realized she hadn’t checked her phone in at least 16 hours, and she hadn’t gotten any notifications other than CNN telling her the world was ending, as usual. While in there, she took the time to slide on a loose shirt, so she wouldn’t be entirely naked while trying to eat breakfast. She re-entered the kitchen to find Dela getting plates out of the cupboard and setting them on Jinkx’ sad excuse for a dining table. “It’s 9:30.”   
“Yep, two hours.” Dela grinned at her as she tore the safety seal off the brand new bottle of maple syrup.   
Jinkx shook her head in disbelief. She got glasses of water for each of them and then sat at her table, watching partly with guilt and partly with appreciation as Dela brought over a pile of pancakes. But she didn’t want to allow herself to feel bad, because she knew Dela wouldn’t want her to. Soon enough, Dela sat across from her, and before Jinkx could pull a pancake onto her plate Dela snatched her plate up and placed the first pancake on it.   
The younger girl looked at her in confusion until Dela gestured to it and proclaimed, “it’s a smiley face!”   
Upon closer examination, there was indeed a shape mostly resembling a smiley face made of chocolate chips in her pancake. Jinkx grinned and her heart swelled — that was one of the cutest things anyone had done for her in years. From across the table, Dela was beaming proudly, and Jinkx returned the gaze. “You’re adorable, thank you.”   
Dela flipped her hair behind her shoulder and reached for the maple syrup. “Labors of love.” She poured an amount of syrup onto her pancake that even Jinkx found excessive.   
Jinkx watched as Dela covered her pancake in syrup. “Maple syrup on chocolate chip pancakes? So that’s why you’re so sweet.”   
Dela smiled rolled her eyes. “And have you been eating corn?”   
It took Jinkx a second to get the joke, and she groaned overdramatically in response before going back to shoving food in her mouth. She hadn’t realized she’d been hungry, and then she remembered that her dinner last night had been Dela with a side of popcorn.   
“So, I have to ask.” A small clever smile was creeping onto Dela’s face, and Jinkx knew she was in for some kind of trouble. “Last night. Was any of that what you were thinking about in the shower that one time?”   
Jinkx kicked at Dela under the table despite laughing along. “Maybe!”   
Dela looked at her expectantly. “Tell me?”   
She raised her eyebrows and leaned in flirtatiously. “I told you, if you want to know you’ll have to be good.”   
Dela laughed, ever surprised by Jinkx’s behavior. “Be good? I made you come and then made you breakfast!”   
Through her giggle, Jinkx looked down and bit her inner cheek. She had a point. “Yeah, but.”   
“But?” Dela was still laughing as she cut into her pancake. “But what?”   
The real reason was because Jinkx wanted to hold onto some kind of sexual power, wanted to do something that made Dela frustrated. But she wasn’t about to just tell her that. “But I don’t wanna tell you.” She wished she could have come up with something more clever than that.   
“Ooh, is it embarrassing?” Dela sounded genuinely intrigued.   
“No. I just don’t wanna.”   
“Oh, so you’re just being a brat.”   
Jinkx made a face in resistance to the term, half truthful and half exaggerated. She didn’t quite know how she felt about being called a brat yet. On the one hand, it made sense, and it suited how she interacted with Dela. But on the other hand, it was just part of her bratty, and virgo, nature to reject things like that…   
Dela laughed. “Again, you’re just proving my point!”   
Jinkx shrugged and continued to shovel her pancake into her mouth, talking with her mouth full as she said, “you love it.”   
Dela tutted and shook her head, and Jinkx could feel the atmosphere in the room start to change, could see as Dela’s features shifting, turning her from Dela to Mommy like an evil alter ego. “Disobeying me when I ask you a question, and now talking with your mouth full? You really are a brat, aren’t you?” Although not completely changed, her tone was steady and cooler than her voice from only a second ago.   
This change in behavior and scolding made Jinkx already start to ache, and start to act more childish. She was surprised at herself and how easily the two of them slipped into these roles. “No I’m not. You just have stupid rules.”   
Dela looked at her, genuine and performative shock on her face. “Stupid rules? Did you just call Mommy stupid?”   
Jinkx ignored her, focusing on cutting her pancake. She knew she was about to get in trouble, and it sparked a fire inside her.   
The older woman reached across the table and grabbed Jinkx by the chin, holding her face up. “Don’t ignore me.”   
Jinkx avoided eye contact with Dela and stared at the ceiling, trying to seem unbothered.   
“Are you really going to be so misbehaved that I’ll have to punish you during breakfast?”   
Jinkx made a noncommittal shrugging sound, still looking away.   
Dela shook her head. “I can’t believe I’ve allowed this kind of behavior from you. I’ve been spoiling you.” With her eyebrows raised, Dela demanded, “Apologize for being a brat and tell me what you fantasized about, now, or I’ll have to punish you.”   
To Jinkx, this seemed like a win-win situation — Dela’s threat of punishment only sounded like a promise of excitement. She briefly wondered if she was just naive and punishment would actually be a bad thing, but then she figured that was only one way to find out. Jinkx brought her gaze back to meet Dela’s, her chin still being held. Not breaking eye contact, she took her fork and lifted a piece of pancake up to her mouth.   
Her fork was intercepted by Dela’s hand, which slapped it away, allowing it to clang onto the table, bits of pancake splattering around. The older woman quickly stood, coming around to Jinkx’s side of the table. She stood over Jinkx and directed, “Up.”   
This was a command Jinkx didn’t find stupid, and quickly stood. As soon as she was on her feet, Dela turned her around and pressed her chest to the wall before pushing the chair away and coming around to stand beside her. She positioned Jinkx’s hands above her head and pulled her hips back, and Jinkx’s body and mind tingled with anticipation. She was being positioned, her body controlled, and something about that overt lack of autonomy turned her on.   
Dela slid a hand over Jinkx’s bare ass, round and pale and smooth. “Look at you, all ready for me already.” She met Jinkx’s eyes, who was peering up from behind her outstretched arm and loose hair. “Tell me baby, have you ever been spanked before?”   
Jinkx chewed on the inside of her lip. “Nn, just by my dad when I was a kid.”   
She couldn’t quite decipher Dela’s reaction to that — was it one of pleasure or of discomfort? Either way, the older woman continued. “Well, this is gonna be kind of like that. You’ve been a bad girl and I need to make sure you know there are consequences when you don’t listen.” She continued to smooth the palm of her hand over her ass, and Jinkx enjoyed the warm light touch on her near-virgin skin. “Now, I’m gonna teach you something very very important. Are you listening?”   
“Yes.”   
“Traffic light. When we play like this, if you need to stop, say red. If you need a break, say yellow. If everything is fine, say green. Understand?”   
“I understand.”   
“So if I touch you like this,” Dela tapped lightly on Jinkx’s ass, “and ask you for your color, you would say…”   
“Green!”   
“But if I said let me throw you off a cliff, you would say…”   
“Red.” Jinkx giggled at the absurdity of the example, knowing she had complete trust in Dela.   
Dela leaned in and kissed her on her bright red hair. “Good. Now…” Dela pulled Jinkx’s hips further back. “This is what you get for being a brat and not listening.” She placed a sharp yet light spank on Jinkx’s ass, and the younger girl lurched, surprised even though she knew it was coming. Dela switched to the other asscheek and spanked her again. Jinkx felt helpless and exposed, and she loved it. Each spank fueled a side of her she’d never known about before, and she quickly started to realize that side may be insatiable, as every spank only made her want more. Dela continued spanking her, alternating where she hit, and Jinkx started to gasp and whine. Dela increased the intensity on Jinkx’s now-sensitive skin, and Jinkx jerked her hips forward and away from Dela’s hand.  
“No, baby. Keep your hips out.” She repositioned her and went back to spanking. Jinkx whined and curled her fingers, desperately fighting the urge to use her hands to fight away.   
With a more intense spank, Jinkx gasped and couldn’t help but shoot her hands back to try and protect herself. “Mommy!”   
Dela quickly restrained her wrists again and placed them back on the wall. “No. Stay still. This is your punishment, remember?” She pulled Jinkx’s hips back and the younger girl extended herself for her, even farther than before, feeling exposed. “I get to decide when it’s over.” She smoothed her hand over Jinkx’s ass again, and Jinkx felt herself start to tremble, body unable to determine what was comfort and what was threat. She was beginning to understand what it really meant to have Dela in charge of her— she really couldn’t get away with anything. “Color?”   
Jinkx shifted her hips, but knew how she felt. “Green.” Even though it stung, the more she hurt the more she loved it.   
“Okay.” Dela started with a softer spank again before quickly increasing her intensity. Her free hand held Jinkx’s hips back. Each time she was hit, Jinkx whined and sighed and whimpered, the pain in her ass radiating to excitement in her pussy. As her heart beat quick and her mind swam, Jinkx realized something important — she loved this. Even as her body tried to jerk away, all Jinkx wanted to do was ask for more, ask to be punished and controlled and hurt more by the older woman. She wanted to give herself to her, fully and completely. She knew that Dela was holding back — the spanks were enough to really start to sting, but Dela wasn’t going nearly close to full intensity. A part of her hoped she did, a part of her wanted to be completely wrecked and punished, but overall she knew she was only getting what she deserved. She’d just have to misbehave more in the future…   
With two sharp spanks ending in Jinkx whining and body instinctively jerking away despite her aching center wanting more, Dela stepped back some. She smoothed a hand over her ass and up her back, and encouraged Jinkx to stand out of the position. “All done baby.” She turned Jinkx around to face her and smoothed her hair out of her face, and then smiled. The dissonance between the sharp punishment and the sweet care made Jinkx’s mind swim. “You took my punishment so well, princess. How do you feel?”   
Jinkx blinked and wrung her hands together, excess energy coursing through her body. She must have looked a little blown out, blushing and excited, because Dela looked amused. “I don’t know,” she admitted, honestly. “It hurt but… I liked it.”   
Dela let out a light laugh. “You did?” She licked her lips lightly and stepped closer to Jinkx, wrapping her arms around her lower back.   
“Yeah, a lot, I—“ she laughed, embarrassed, “I’m really turned on.”   
The older woman let out a low hum and pulled Jinkx closer into her. From here, Jinkx was able to see all the little details of her face — the lines by her eyes, which themselves had overly wide pupils, and around her pink lips. She was suddenly desperate to know every detail of this woman’s body. Dela brought a hand up to loosely cup her face. “You are?” She raised her eyebrows. “You know only bad, slutty little girls like being spanked, don’t you?”   
This made Jinkx blush furiously, a rush of heat coursing through her already stimulated body. She thought she enjoyed praise, but maybe she also enjoyed this? At least, that’s what the need radiating deep inside of her was telling her. Jinkx was speechless, staring at Dela with her mouth slightly open, not knowing how to respond to her claim.   
Jinkx’s speechlessness only made Dela laugh, and she tapped her lightly. “Sit down, baby. We’ve got to finish breakfast.”   
“Wait, but—?” Jinkx was confused. She was turned on, and Dela knew that. Why wasn’t she going to do anything about it?   
“What?” Dela raised her eyebrows as she went back around the table to her seat. “Did you think you’d be getting an orgasm out of this?”   
Jinkx shifted her hips, hands clasped in front of her. “Yeah.”   
The older woman shook her head. “It’s a punishment, princess. You were bad, so I punished you, and that’s all. Now eat with me.”   
Beyond her semblance of ending the scene, Jinkx was receptive enough to hear Dela’s Mommy voice behind her regular voice. It hadn’t been much time at all, but Jinkx was already learning the difference. This and the spark in her eye was enough for Jinkx to know that it was okay to keep playing. She bit her lip and scrunched her brow. “But Mommy…”   
“The only but I want to know about is your butt in that chair.”   
Jinkx chewed on her cheek and huffed, resigned, and sat down. The ridges in her chair stung against her pink ass, and she was visibly uncomfortable.   
Dela looked at her, curious and amused. “Does it hurt?”   
“Mm-hmm.” Jinkx searched for the fork that Dela had slapped away.   
Dela seemed to think for a moment before patting her lap. “Come here.” Something about that made something in Jinkx primally excited — sitting in her lap made her, emotionally and sexually, excited and comforted. Jinkx quickly got up and came around to the other side of the table and perched on Dela’s lap. Dela pulled her in closer and positioned her hips. Her ass still stung, but Jinkx didn’t want to complain about it — this was comfortable in its own way. “Better?”   
“Yeah.” Jinkx smiled down at her. “Thanks Mommy.” Dela patted her thigh as Jinkx reached to pull her plate closer. It was a rather awkward operation, the two of them trying to eat pancakes while themselves being stacked, but they made it work. As Jinkx went back to eating, she asked herself why she had protested returning to this in the first place. After a moment of contented munching, Jinkx finally started, “So… in my fantasy.”   
Triumphantly, Dela laughed. Jinkx knew that they both knew that she secretly wanted to tell her this whole time anyway. “Yes! Go on.”   
Jinkx fought back a grin of enjoyment and mischief. “It was uh, you with me in the shower.”   
“Ooh,” Dela teased, petting Jinkx’s thigh encouragingly.   
“I was nervous about touching myself, so, you taught me how.” Jinkx giggled — it had only been a few days since then, but she already felt like she had progressed so far. “I called you Mommy—“   
“You did!”   
“I did!” They laughed together and Jinkx licked her lips. “When you first made that joke about liking being called that, it was like something clicked in my brain, and I needed it.”   
Dela smiled up at her, a mix of pride and amusement on her face. “Well, you got it.”   
“I did. Thank god. I might have gone crazy if this never happened.”   
“You think?”   
“I really needed this. I can’t explain it,” she started to laugh and make fun of herself, “it was like suddenly being aware of an itch I’d had for years but never knew about before.” She remembered back to that first conversation they’d had when they were alone on tour and Jinkx smiled to herself. “I had wanted to experiment, I just didn’t know that I did until you came around.”   
Dela shook her head, laughing at herself. “I really am corrupting the youth.”   
“Isn’t that your favorite part?”   
“No!” Dela protested. “Making me sound criminal.” She smoothed her hand over Jinkx’s thigh again. “My favorite part is seeing how you react to orders. I never know what I’m gonna get.”   
Jinkx shrugged playfully. “Sounds like corrupting the youth with extra steps.”   
Dela laughed and lightly slapped at Jinkx’s upper thigh, before trying to reel the conversation back in to its roots. “So, that fantasy…”   
Jinkx was amused by how much Dela wanted to know. It spoke about her character — there was a part of her that wanted to be fantasy-worthy, that delighted in knowing how she had been seductive enough to be a part of Jinkx’s imagination. “Hmm.” Jinkx thought back, trying to remember it, and blushed a little as she did. “I really wanted you to call me a good girl.”   
“Did you?” Dela was intrigued.   
“Mm-hmm.” Jinkx shifted on her lap and raised her eyebrows. “That’s what made me come, actually…” She started to toy flirtatiously with a strand of Dela’s dark hair. “I begged you to call me a good girl, and you said only if I promised to come for you, and so you talked me through it…”   
“Wow, baby.”   
Jinkx giggled. “It was really hot, but real you is much better than fantasy you.”   
Dela smiled. “That’s quite a compliment.” Jinkx noticed Dela’s hands started to grow more eager on her thighs. “So, Princess.” Jinkx hummed in response. “Are you glad you’re getting to experiment with me?”   
“Yeah!” She meant it. “Really.”  
“There are a lot of things I want to try with you… lots of ways we can play together.” She raised her eyebrows. “But I want to take it slow. You’re so innocent…” Dela seemed to sense Jinkx’s shame without her even saying anything about it, so she was quick to continue, “and I love that about you. It’s beautiful, and — maybe I do like corrupting the youth.” They both laughed. “Just a little bit! But!” She was quick to bring it back down to seriousness again. “I really don’t want to scare you or make you uncomfortable.”   
Jinkx was a little mystified. What could Dela do that could be that bad? She shifted in her lap, impatient. She wanted to dive right in. “But…” she smiled, a little embarrassed, “I want it. Whatever it is, I want it — the full Dela experience.” Dela looked charmed, but skeptical. “I’m an impatient woman!”   
The older woman’s hands ran all the way up Jinkx’s thighs to her hips, bare under her oversized shirt. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”   
“I’m asking for more.” Jinkx slid her hands over Dela’s collarbone and toyed with her hair. “More Dela, more Mommy, more spankings, more punishments… more experimenting.” She looked at Dela coyly, the older woman smiling back at her, an eagerness behind her amusement.   
“Oh, Princess…” Dela sighed with faux-dismay. She dragged her fingernails lightly over the skin of Jinkx’s stomach, almost tickling her. Jinkx’s excitement piqued when Dela’s Mommy voice finally returned in full swing. “I’ve already turned you into Mommy’s little slut, haven’t I.”   
Jinkx let out a sound that was a half-giggle, half-moan. “Mmm, yeah.” She tugged at Dela’s hair and brought her face closer. “I’m a little slut, just for you.” The word felt sort of strange on her tongue at first, but after saying it sent a shock to her pussy. It was a powerful word, but she loved the double meaning — all of her eagerness was only for Dela.   
Dela pet at Jinkx’s stomach beneath her tshirt. “Just for me?”   
“Just for you, Mommy. All for you,” Jinkx cooed, slowly bringing her face closer to Dela’s until she kissed her. Their mouths both had tastes reminiscent of their sugary breakfast and the kiss was just as sweet before quickly turning deeper and darker.  
Dela’s hand reached up to start to run her fingers across Jinkx’s nipple, making the younger girl sigh. She sucked on Jinkx’s lower lip before releasing it with a wet pop. “Gonna be Mommy’s little slut? Her good little girl, little princess, her fun little toy to play with?”   
Every word dripping from Dela’s sweet mouth went straight to Jinkx’s core. She instinctively spread her legs and squirmed on Dela’s lap. “Yes Mommy… please. I wanna do anything for you.”   
Dela kissed at Jinkx’s neck and pulled harder at her nipples, and Jinkx gasped and shuddered. She spread her legs wider and suddenly felt something slick — remembering that she hadn’t been wearing panties all morning, Jinkx realized she had gotten her wetness on Dela’s thigh. Dela seemed to notice it at the same time she did she let out a low huff that was almost a groan. “God, you really are, aren’t you.” Abruptly, she pulled Jinkx’s legs farther apart and stuck her hand between them unceremoniously. Jinkx gasped and clutched onto Dela for stability as the older woman probed at her, searching for the source of the wetness. Her fingers quickly found Jinkx’s slick, needy spot and the younger girl gasped, face contorting in shock and pleasure. Dela started to work in Jinkx’s wetness, sending waves of pleasure through Jinkx’s body and making her moan on her lap. “I’ve barely done anything, and you’re all wet already. All slick and ready for Mommy to play with.”   
Jinkx huffed and spread her legs wider for her, barely staying on Dela’s lap but wanting to feel every millimeter of Dela’s touch on her center. “Yes Mommy…” She pushed her hips down onto Dela’s hand. “Play with me, please.”   
Dela slowed her touch, agonizingly for Jinkx. “Hm? What was that?”   
Jinkx groaned in frustration and dug her hands into Dela, trying to hold onto her. “Play with me, let me be a good slut for you.”   
“Mmm,” Dela hummed as she pressed kisses into Jinkx’s shoulder, finger still painfully slow in Jinkx’s wetness. “You’re so innocent, you still don’t know what you’re asking for.”   
“Then fucking show me.” She realized what she had done as soon as she said it, and both her and Dela immediately froze. Jinkx heard Dela make something of a scoff before feeling her hand leave her pussy and her head be pulled back by her hair.   
“Fine. I’ll fucking show you. Let’s see how much you like being a brat when Mommy’s done playing.” The situation had escalated sharply, but that bit of fear struck Jinkx with arousal. Knowing she was in for some kind of new mysterious punishment excited her through Dela’s threats because she knew that behind it all, Dela would always take care of her and keep her safe. Jinkx had asked for this, after all. Dela ordered, “Get up.” Jinkx didn’t budge, instead looking stubborn — her eyes communicated the ‘make me’ that her mouth didn’t need to say. Dela didn’t ask twice, instead she herself just stood, knocking Jinkx off her lap and leaving her to scramble to find her footing. Dela put her hands on her own hips. “Go on.” Jinkx just cocked her head in faux-innocence. Dela huffed angrily and pointed towards the bathroom. “Go wash out your dirty mouth.”   
Jinkx mimicked Dela’s stance, placing her hands on her own hips and stared back at her. “No.”   
She saw a flicker of some emotion flash across Dela’s eyes — delight and amusement, or predatory frustration? It was a comfort to remember that not only was Dela not truly angry with her, but that she was enjoying the war as much as Jinkx was. Dela stared her down. “Yes, you little brat. You need to learn how to listen, and that your actions have consequences. Now go wash your dirty fucking mouth.”   
“How come you get to say it?” Jinkx pouted and crossed her arms.   
“Because I’m the one in charge.” The two stared each other down, Dela’s eyebrows raised expectantly in contrast to Jinkx’s pout.   
“No you’re not!” Jinkx sang. She started to walk away, towards the couch, purely motivated by seeming nonchalant.   
“I’m not gonna chase you, baby.”   
Jinkx pulled her shirt off and stretched out on the couch, teasingly extending her slim, naked body for Dela to take in. “Yes you aaare!”   
Dela’s voice was stern. “I’m gonna count to three, and if you’re not over here by the time I’m done you’re gonna be in big trouble. One…” Jinkx smiled playfully, rolling around on the couch, “Two…” She didn’t break eye contact, perfectly content to stay put. There was a pause before the final count where Dela looked at her expectantly, but Jinkx just grinned. “Three.” Jinkx just giggled. “Fine, if this is what you think you want, I’ll give it to you.” Dela snatched a clean wooden spoon from the kitchen and marched over to Jinkx. “Just don’t blame me when you realize what you’ve done by not listening to Mommy.” She grabbed Jinkx by the hips and flipped her over on the couch, pulling her hips back to present her ass for her. Dela smoothed the back of the spoon over Jinkx’s ass to ease her in to the feeling before landing a sharp, quick strike on her behind. Already, her skin was pink from the strike, and was still extra sensitive from the spankings from earlier.   
“Oh!” Jinkx gasped. This was a much different experience from being spanked with Dela’s hand — these were sharper and felt more intense. Even though she enjoyed it now, she started to realize that she might actually be in trouble. Dela spanked her again, more intense this time, and Jinkx lurched. It felt incredible, the mixture of pain and submission, the knowledge that she brought this on herself, the fear that she was going to be hurt and could do nothing about it.   
Dela struck her again, a little harder, and Jinkx whined through a bitten lip. “Are you starting to understand, brat?” Dela started to alternate between her two asscheeks, slowing increasing intensity, talking as she did. “You’re not getting away with anything around me. You can think you’re being clever, but you need to learn your place.” Jinkx started to whine and jerk away as Dela continued her spankings — it was going from a fun hurt to a real hurt, and Jinkx was starting to learn what that meant. Yet at the same time, that real hurt only excited her more, her body kicking into an adrenaline-fueled delirium. Jinkx pressed her hips into the couch cushions, both to be away from Dela’s spankings and to get friction on her clit. Dela pulled her hips back up. “Stop moving, baby. You can’t get out of this.”   
The next spank was extra sharp and Jinkx couldn’t help but jerk her hips away and throw her hands back to try and cover her ass. “Ow! Shit!”   
Dela didn’t hesitate to grab Jinkx’s wrists and force her hands over her head, holding her down on the couch. “Such a bad, bad girl.” She struck her again, harsh and merciless, and Jinkx gasped. “You really don’t know how to behave.” With another strike, Jinkx squirmed in Dela’s grasp, equally with need as with pain. “Don’t you get it? I’m in charge, and there is nothing you can do to get out of this.”   
Jinkx pressed her face into the couch and cried, hips jerking forward and pressing into the couch, away from Dela’s wrath. “But Mommy!”   
“But what? This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Another sharp strike against her pink skin made Jinkx whine and gasp. “Isn’t this what you asked for?”   
Despite the fear and the pain, and her body’s instinctual reaction to run from it, Jinkx couldn’t deny how incredible this felt — with every strike from Dela, the need in Jinkx’s pussy spiked, the desperation within her grew exponentially. And being talked to like this, being restrained, being truly exposed and punished like she wanted, it made her insides roar with want. There was a part of her that was afraid that maybe she was in over her head, that maybe she couldn’t take this… but that fear only heightened her arousal. Another sharp spank landed on her raw ass and Jinkx sobbed and kicked her legs up. “Fuck, Mommy!” She tossed her hips back and forth. “It hurts!” she cried.  
“Yeah, it does hurt, doesn’t it?” Dela landed the softest of spanks with the spoon against her ass, making Jinkx lurch, body unaccustomed to the gentle touch. “Does it hurt real bad, baby?”   
“Mm-hmm.” Jinkx nodded into the couch, still hiding her face.   
“Use your words.” Dela pushed on Jinkx’s head to turn her to face her. “And look at me.”   
Jinkx looked up at her, wide-eyed, to find Dela looking stern and expectant. “It hurts real bad, Mommy.” That innocent, childlike expression dripping from her mouth made her want to moan — she felt perverted, taking something so safe and turning it so disgusting.   
Dela hummed and began to smooth the back of the spoon against Jinkx’s sore ass, building up anticipation as Jinkx didn’t know when the next strike would come. “There’s only one way to get me to stop, Princess.” She smacked the spoon against Jinkx again and the younger girl cried out.   
“What?!”   
“Promise me you’re gonna listen.”   
Jinkx didn’t want to promise, and she didn’t want to listen, but the pain was becoming unbearable. Dela spanked her again and Jinkx gasped, finally giving in. “Yeah, I’m gonna listen, I promise.”   
“Not good enough. I don’t believe you.” Dela followed with another barrage of spanks, making Jinkx moan wildly. The final of the strikes was the harshest Jinkx had ever received and the younger girl cried out, hiding her face, wrists fighting against Dela’s hand and thrashing her hips on the couch.   
“Mommy!” Her voice was almost a sob, starting to sound broken. She finally understood, this is what this was really about — there was no escape, no bargaining, no getting off easy. There was only doing what Mommy said. “I’m gonna listen! I’m gonna listen, Mommy, I promise, please stop! It hurts so bad…”   
Dela dropped the spoon and cupped Jinkx’s ass check with her hand. Jinkx’s breath caught in her throat, overstimulated by all the different types and intensities of touch. “You’re gonna be a good girl and do what Mommy tells you?”   
The hint of praise melted away the sharpest edge of Jinkx’s fear. “Yes Mommy.”   
The older woman tightened her grip on her asscheek, fingertips pressing into her raw skin. “Do you promise?”   
Jinkx hissed and bucked her hips back, wet arousal winning out over the pain. “Yes! Mommy, I promise I’ll be good!”   
Dela pulled her hands off of Jinkx’s wrists and ass and she knelt down next to Jinkx, smoothing her red hair out of her eyes before taking a second to rest her hands on her caringly. “Color?”   
Jinkx took a second to evaluate her feelings, but despite being shaken, she knew she was okay and wanted to continue. “Green.” She appreciated that Dela was treating her like she had asked her to, really punishing her and treating her less like she was too fragile or innocent. It was like a sort of test run, to see what Jinkx could handle or would like, she figured, and though Jinkx didn’t feel pressure from Dela, she herself wanted to continue to experiment.   
“Okay.” Dela nodded, satisfied with her answer, and stood up. “Come on now. I haven’t forgotten about your dirty mouth.”   
The younger girl let out a pouty huff — _shouldn’t she be able to get out of it, she’d just been spanked after all_ — before realizing that this was the whole point. She had just been beaten into promising to do what Mommy told her to, and was already, only seconds later, breaking her promise. As Jinkx was just processing what she had done, she was interrupted with the sudden feeling of arms around her waist, and she was being hauled upward. She struggled to find her footing as Dela forced her to stand, clearly fed up with her bullshit.   
“You really are insufferable, child. I beat you ‘til you’re begging and you still won’t fucking learn.” She grabbed Jinkx by the wrists again and started leading her to the bathroom.   
“I didn’t do anything!” Jinkx knew she was in the wrong, why was she protesting? Maybe brattiness truly was in her nature.   
“Exactly, you didn’t do what Mommy told you to. After you’d just promised you would.” Dela positioned Jinkx in front of the mirror and came up behind her, pressing her hips into Jinkx to hold her between the sink and herself. Jinkx’s ass stung from the spankings still, pink flesh pressed into Dela’s pelvis. “Your little mouth is all dirty with curses, dirty with lies.” Jinkx’s breath caught in her throat as her arousal surged— she was truly being held accountable, being forced into this like a misbehaving child would be, and it made her mind swim. She couldn’t keep up with Dela’s determined actions, and surrendered her body over to the older woman, letting her position her and take control. “You need to learn that the only choice is whether you do what I say, or I make you do what I say.” Jinkx watched with wild eyes as Dela squeezed toothpaste onto her fingertips. The older woman made eye contact with her through the mirror, gaze expectant. “Open.” Jinkx’s mind was still lagging behind, but as Dela began to reach her other hand up to her face Jinkx snapped to attention and opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out before Dela could force her to. “There we go.” Dela brought her hand up and started to rub the toothpaste onto Jinkx’s tongue. The younger girl moaned out, brows furrowed and cheeks flushed with need as she surrendered her body to Dela, letting Mommy use her mouth, letting Mommy clean her dirty mouth. Jinkx huffed and extended her arms to brace herself against the wall in front of them. The two were locked in intense eye contact through the mirror, Dela’s face aflame with a predatory, lustful, yet punishing gaze, and Jinkx looking shocked, desperate and blown out. “That’s right baby, Mommy’s cleaning you all up, cuz you’re a dirty little brat and won’t do it yourself.” Beneath the tingle of the mint toothpaste, Dela’s fingers claimed her mouth, warm and strong and determined inside of her, and Jinkx just moaned, vibrating with erotic need, aware of every sensation against her skin. “Such a bad little girl.”   
Jinkx realized she was pressing her ass back into Dela, hips moving on their own accord against the older woman’s warm body, searching for any friction. As soon as she became aware of it, it became a need, and Jinkx started to rock her hips back into Dela, just barely getting any satisfaction but desperate for anything. Dela quickly noticed.   
“Slut, fucking up against Mommy while I punish you. Moaning like a little whore. You love feeling my fingers in your mouth don’t you? Even this punishment is a treat for you isn’t it?” Jinkx moaned pathetically and spread her legs as wide as she could considering her restrained condition and grinded herself harder into Dela. The older woman pushed her own hips more forcefully into Jinkx and started to grind herself into Jinkx’s flesh. Jinkx noticed Dela’s breathing break, and the blush in her cheeks behind her stern gaze, and the thought of Dela fighting back a rushing urge to fuck against her made Jinkx’s knees weak. “So innocent, yet so fucking dirty… what am I doing to you.” Jinkx just whined in response — she was being corrupted by Mommy, and she needed it, needed more, needed Mommy, always, now. The ache in her center only grew needier and more desperate for any friction, the warm pressure of Dela fucking up against her not nearly enough. The feeling of the older woman’s hot breath on her neck made Jinkx’s skin tingle and she let out a broken whine. “Look at yourself. Look at how slutty and desperate and dirty you look. This is what you asked for, this is what you’ve turned yourself into.” It was true — looking at herself in the mirror in front of them, Jinkx realized her skin was a bright pink, her pupils huge, her red hair was wild, her arms shook as she tried to hold herself up. She was entirely restrained and claimed by this older woman, had surrendered entirely to Mommy, had gotten exactly what she deserved, what she asked for. All she could do was try to grind herself against Dela and hope for mercy. Dela fucked her clit into Jinkx faster, breath starting to catch, resolve starting to crack — it was almost like Dela’s hips were beginning to work on their own accord, like she may be as desperate for friction against the other woman as Jinkx was. Jinkx noticed Dela’s eyes start to glaze over and her jaw clench, and with a frustrated, almost resigned growl, Dela removed her hand from Jinkx’s mouth. She turned on the sink, rinsing off her hand before cupping it and filling it with water. Jinkx pretended not to notice that Dela’s hand was shaking. “Rinse,” she ordered. Jinkx messily slurped water out of Dela’s hand, and this dependence on the older woman only drove her more wild. Drops of cold water ran down Jinkx’s chin and chest and she lurched, the contrast confusing her overstimulated body, but the sensation somehow also extremely erotic. She rinsed and spit and then Dela grabbed her hips, pulling her back from the sink far enough for Dela to slip her hand down Jinkx’s front.   
Dela’s strong fingers finally worked into Jinkx’s desperate warm wetness and the younger girl moaned unapologetically. Her mind had long ago evaporated, leaving all of her senses tuned only to how Dela touched her. Yet, it was clear to the both of them that this wasn’t for Jinkx’s pleasure — it was for Dela’s, the older woman huffing and growling above her, fingers only in Jinkx’s pussy to play with her like a toy, to make Jinkx into an even more erotic show for her. And it worked — Jinkx tossed her head back, eyes shut in desperation, skin glowing with lust, and eagerly worked her hips into Dela’s fingers, the two of them easily finding a rhythm.  
“That’s right baby… my slutty little baby, my disgusting little girl, bad little girl.” Dela’s voice was choked back with a hungry need, her normal composed Mommy voice abandoned. She breathed heavy, each breath hitting Jinkx’s oversensitive skin as she continued to grind into her, pretending like she wasn’t also desperate. “Looking so fucking good for me, Jesus, so sexy.” Her fingers started to work quicker and harder inside Jinkx and the younger girl just moaned, body completely surrendered to her, insides on fire. “Tell me how much you love my punishments, baby, come on, tell me.”   
“Oh, Mommy.” Jinkx’s voice was desperate and broken and unashamedly loud. She couldn’t gather enough consciousness to say anything clever, and words just fell out of her mouth as all her focus was on fucking herself against Dela’s fingers. “I love it Mommy, I love your punishments, I love how you control me and use me and play with me, feels so good, oh Mommy, so sexy, so good, god, play with me…”   
Dela let out a low moan from Jinkx’s words and worked her fingers faster inside of Jinkx as she pushed her hips into Jinkx’s ass. “Fuck yeah baby, you’re such a fun little toy, I’ve made you into a little punishment whore and you’re so fun to play with.”   
Jinkx whined and sobbed, her swollen core absolutely desperate. “I’m Mommy’s little slut, all slutty and dirty for Mommy…”   
Dela huffed and groaned behind a wicked smile. “Yes, baby, that’s right. All for Mommy.”   
“Yeah, all for you!” Just then, Dela angled her hand just right to hit all of her sweet spots, and Jinkx let out a dramatic gasp, eyes flying open. “Oh my god, don’t stop!” The sight in the mirror was beyond exciting — herself looking beyond fucked out, Dela absolutely aflame — but Jinkx could hardly see it, every ounce of her energy directed towards her body on the very edge of orgasm.   
“Yeah? Are you gonna come for me, dirty little baby? Gonna come real good for Mommy?” Jinkx whined out and fucked desperately back onto Dela’s fingers, entire body on fire. “That’s fucking right, come for me, you fucking slut. You’re all mine, your body is mine, your orgasms are mine, Mommy owns your tight little girl body doesn’t she, and you’re gonna come so good for her while she plays with you like a toy.”   
“Yes, yes, yes!” Out of control and out of her mind, high pitched panting whines escaped Jinkx as she started to climax, clutching desperately to the sink and legs shaking violently.   
“Good girl…”   
Jinkx sobbed and pushed her hips back into Dela’s hand as hard as she could, hungry for every centimeter of touch as she came, shaking and moaning. Her mind was completely blank, the only thing that mattered was Dela’s perverted praise and her touch filling her as Jinkx soaked in every second of her. The fire of her orgasm rolled through her body mercilessly as her body shook and convulsed, this climax symbolic of her own lack of autonomy and the pleasure in that surrender. Dela’s fingers felt thick and warm inside of her, filling her up, and even after she had finished she did not want her to have to remove them.   
Unlike the night before, Jinkx didn’t get much of a break. As she blinked her eyes back open, she realized that Dela was still clutching onto her and grinding into her, face absolutely hungry and dark. This was the Dela that Jinkx had only caught a glimpse of the night before, and she was proud of herself to be worthy of her in her full glory now.   
Dela slid her strong fingers coated in Jinkx’s wetness into the younger girl’s mouth and Jinkx moaned at the taste of herself as she licked Dela’s fingers clean. “You came so good for me, just like I told you to. Good little girl, good job, so beautiful…” Jinkx let out a broken moan, the praise radiating a perverted warmth through her body. Dela removed her hand to grab Jinkx by the hips, turned her around and demanded, “get on your knees.”   
Jinkx rushed to obey, overstimulated body unaware of the pain of the tile pattern pressing into her skin. “Good, see, you’re learning.” It struck Jinkx that it hadn’t even occurred to her to disobey. She watched with wide eyes as Dela rushed to slide her panties off. Jinkx caught a glimpse of them as she tossed them away — they were soaked through. Dela really was as turned on as she seemed, flushed and breathing heavily above her, and it was all because of Jinkx, her misbehavior and her punishment.   
Dela pushed Jinkx’s hair back messily, hands more eager than precise, mouth hanging open with eager breath. Dela in need was the sexiest thing Jinkx had ever seen. The older woman looked around and propped her leg up on the side of the tub, opening herself up for Jinkx, and started to pull on her head. “Come on now baby, Mommy needs her little slut to make her feel good, come on…” Jinkx had no desire to tease, just wanting to watch Dela fully come apart for her, to see what it’s like for this Dela to really use her. The younger girl placed her hands on Dela’s thick thighs and allowed Dela to guide her head, bringing her mouth to the older woman’s warm center and licking her generously. Dela let out a loud, low sigh and angled her hips forward, pulling Jinkx closer. “Yeah, baby.” Jinkx started to work her mouth against Dela’s wetness, not holding back, wanting to be good and to make Dela feel everything she needed. She tasted so sweet, and Jinkx just wanted to press all the way into her, to be completely involved in her. She hummed into her folds, wanting to express her desire and her gratitude, and Dela hummed back, weaving her fingers into her hair. “Is that right? Little girl likes sucking on Mommy’s pussy?” Her voice was choked and restrained and laden with need. Jinkx hummed more in return and pressed her tongue more eagerly into Dela. Dela moaned and hissed and her hips started to thrust back and forth, needing Jinkx’s touch on all of her, her wetness spreading across Jinkx’s face. “Such a good girl, I’m training you so well, turning you into such a good little plaything for Mommy. Such an innocent baby into Mommy’s little slut.” Jinkx moaned genuinely into her wet skin and felt her own hips twitch, already turned on again even though she had just come, because she was that intoxicated by Dela and all of her dirty ideas. Dela growled and her breath hitched and she grabbed at Jinkx’s face roughly, angling her chin and moving her head upwards until she found the place that she liked, and moaned out at the feeling of Jinkx’s soft tongue against her sweetest spot. “Yes…” Dela groaned and shuddered. “ _My_ baby, _my_ little girl, _mine, mine, mine,_ so good, so sexy, so dirty…” Her eyes finally shut and head tilted back, and her rough, almost malicious exterior started to melt away, revealing an older woman, shaking and panting, so close to the edge and absolutely desperate for her partner to take her there. Strands of her dark hair cascaded down her back, her pale skin a deep pink, eyes shut and brow furrowed with concentration yet her mouth hanging open in mindless pleasure. Dela kept a strong grip against Jinkx’s face as she fucked her hips against her tongue, Jinkx working hard to keep a rhythm with her needs. Dela’s usual ability for dirty talk seemed to have escaped her as the only things leaving her mouth were heavy breaths and sounds of desperate pleasure. Soon, Jinkx pressed her tongue as hard as she could into Dela’s sensitive spot and the older woman gasped and whined, and her thighs quaked under Jinkx’s hands, and her strong fingers pressed into Jinkx’s face, and Dela let out a long, high-pitched, frustrated moan, and her pelvis thrusted furiously down onto Jinkx’s tongue, and finally, with a silent sob and an intense shudder, Dela came into Jinkx’s soft mouth. Her voice quickly returned to her, moans and hisses of pleasure escaping her as she worked through the aftershocks, still too out of her mind to be able to speak.   
Eventually, all went silent and still, and Dela blinked her eyes open and released her grip on Jinkx’s face. The two women stared at each other, one on the floor and one towering above, both of their mouths hanging open, as they both started to find their way through the sexual fog and back into their bodies. Dela blinked and closed her mouth and took her leg off the edge of the tub; Jinkx blinked and wiped off her face and became suddenly aware of the pain in her knees. Then, almost simultaneously, they both broke into a smile.   
“Come here,” Dela encouraged, warm and genuine. She bent down to help Jinkx stand, the younger girl finding her own legs shaky and her knees red. “Ooh,” Dela let out a disapproving, saddened sound, gesturing to her knees. “Does that hurt?”   
Jinkx smiled sheepishly. “A little, yeah.”   
“I’m sorry.” Dela placed a kiss on her fingertips before leaning down to press her fingers to Jinkx’s knees. Jinkx’s heart swelled at the tender act, and then realized how much she needed that tenderness and kindness after such an intense morning— she felt weak, almost broken and needy. But that was what made this all okay — she knew Dela would give her the care she needed. The older woman pulled Jinkx into her, their bare bodies pressing into each other in a warm embrace. Jinkx could already feel herself being rehabilitated by the touch, and allowed herself to relax and sink into Dela’s soft body, being healed as she is held. Jinkx pressed her face into Dela’s chest and the older woman stroked her hair softly. They spent minutes like this, holding each other in silence, coming back into themselves, being rehabilitated and restored, before Dela spoke again.   
She hummed, voice low and soft and sweet. “How are you?”   
It was a good question. Jinkx directed her attention inwards, trying to take stock of her feelings. “I’m okay. That was a lot.” She didn’t want to make Dela feel bad, but she knew that Dela would want her to be honest more than anything. “It was fun, but I’m… shaken, I guess.”   
“That’s completely normal, princess.” Jinkx felt her angle her face down to look at her. “Do you wanna lie down and talk about it?”   
Jinkx nodded into Dela’s skin and then peeled herself off of her, the two shuffling quickly into Jinkx’s bedroom and climbing back into the bed still strewn with last night’s messy blankets. Jinkx pressed her back into Dela, reclaiming her deserved title as the little spoon, and Dela wrapped her arm around her carefully. Jinkx couldn’t help but feel a little tense, though she couldn’t quite place why.   
“So… I tried to give you what you asked for. ‘More Mommy, more punishments, more experimenting’” she quoted, voice gentle. “Was it okay?”   
“Yeah, I just… feel kinda weird.” As she said it, she felt herself fill with shame. It really was so good, was exactly what she asked for, and Dela was so perfect, why did she have to feel bad right now? “And I feel weird that I feel weird, because everything felt so good and you are so incredible and sexy and caring, but…” She didn’t know how to finish her sentence, just finding herself wishing that Dela would hold her tighter, but not knowing how to ask.   
“Jinkx.” Her voice was steady and soft. “It’s okay. This was a lot for you, and it’s normal that you would be feeling this way.” She brushed Jinkx’s hair behind her ear. “I’m not upset with you because you have feelings, and I’m glad you feel like you can share them with me.”   
This amount of care made Jinkx feel almost nauseous. How could Dela go so quickly between calling her an object to treating her so kindly? Which was real? What if she was just being duped, being used, just like Roxy used to do? And whether or not this was true, how could Jinkx help but feel her walls build back up after being treated in such a way? Logically, she knew it was just kink and play and experimentation, but that didn’t seem to matter much to her body, which started to freeze up and shut down. And once the bad feelings started, everything started to cascade. She hadn’t realized how intimate of a relationship this kind of dynamic would lead to, but she hardly knew Dela… how could she be so intimate with someone she hardly knew, especially without knowing how this relationship would continue?   
Dela could clearly feel Jinkx tense up. She ran her fingertips gently over Jinkx’s arm. “Baby, you can talk to me. I’d really like to know what’s wrong so I can help you feel better.”   
Jinkx felt frozen. She didn’t know what to say, and even if she did, she didn’t think her mouth would be able to say it.   
“You have to let me take care of you.”   
That was it — being taken care of. The realization struck her with a deep sense of understanding, matched with sickening fear. Her parents had kicked her out for being a lesbian, not to mention all the times throughout her life that they showed her they could not be counted on to take care of her— alcoholism, emotional abuse, screaming matches. Her last close friend abused her emotionally and sexually. Jinkx had always had to take care of herself. She couldn’t trust anyone to take care of her, because they’d just hurt her or prove they can’t be trusted; she didn’t know how to let anyone else in even if she wanted to. And maybe that’s why this kink made her so wild — the very idea of being taken care of was what was perverted and made dangerous.   
Numb to the feeling of Dela’s skin against her, Jinkx’s breath caught in her throat. She was terrified. She needed to be taken care of and healed right now, but how could she count on Dela to take care of her, when she said such mean things in bed? How could she count on Dela to take care of her when they barely knew each other, when they weren’t in a relationship, when they had such an age difference? How could she count Dela to take care of her when she had learned that no one was ever trustworthy?   
“Hey…”   
This last effort of connection finally cracked Jinkx open, and the younger girl curled into a ball and started to cry.   
“Jinkx!” She could almost feel Dela’s heart plummet, and it only made her feel worse.  
“I can’t trust you… I want to, but I can’t.” Jinkx shook and cried, face hidden, numb to Dela’s efforts at physical contact. “I’m so scared,” she gasped. “I’m so scared.”   
Dela’s fingers pressed into Jinkx’s skin and she brought herself in closer. “You don’t need to be scared, treasure. There’s nothing to be scared of. You are safe.” She rubbed her arm encouragingly, though her voice sounded sad. “You are safe.”   
“No,” Jinkx’s voice was broken as she continued to sob into her sheets, trying to hide herself from Dela. “I can’t, I can’t.” Even with herself buried deep within her personal cloud of despair and stress, Jinkx could feel the tension within Dela, and her desire to not upset Dela only made herself feel worse. Her body wracked with broken sobs and trembles of fear as all of her years of built up issues crashed down on her. She couldn’t do anything but cry, and was thankful that Dela was understanding enough of that to give her that time without trying to make her talk, judge her, or leave. The older woman just held her, undoubtedly herself upset and afraid, but wise enough to understand Jinkx’s needs.   
“Breathe,” Dela reminded her, careful. Jinkx listened, thankful for the reminder, and gasped for air before starting to steady her breaths, and her focus on her breathing began to calm her whirlwind of thoughts.   
Soon, Jinkx flipped herself over and buried her face into Dela’s soft, warm chest. It was comfort, but all comfort was matched by fear. “I don’t know what to do.”   
“What do you mean? Why do you have to do anything?”   
“I’m so scared.”   
There was a pause, and Jinkx could feel the deep guilt radiating from Dela. “You’re scared of me. I knew it would be too much, I—“   
“No!” Jinkx interrupted, finally raising her face to make eye contact with her again. She could see the walls rising behind Dela’s eyes, could see Dela’s own trigger-happy self-defense mechanisms causing her to shut down. “I’m not scared of you, I’m scared that…” she clenched her jaw, tears rising in her throat again. “I’m scared because I want you to take care of me, and I, I can’t,” she lowered her eyes and hid her face, “I can’t let anyone take care of me, I can’t trust anyone to be there for me, I can’t go through it all again.” She could feel Dela soften, and that was calming in its own way — at the very least, Dela would understand that it wasn’t her fault, that she didn’t need to guilt herself for hurting Jinkx. It was just Jinkx who was broken, high-maintenance, immature…   
“Jinkx…” Dela smoothed her strong hand across Jinkx’s back, trying her best to soothe the crying girl. “I don’t think that’s true. I think you can let someone take care of you. I think that you want to, and that if you want to, then you will, because you’re strong.” Jinkx shuddered — she didn’t want to hear it. She wanted Dela to just abandon her, leave her to suffer alone, as she had always been. “It’s okay to be upset, and I am proud of you for allowing yourself to feel all of these things, but you have to be generous with yourself, too. The things most worth doing in life are the scariest.” Though Dela was right, and Jinkx could feel her words tingle in her chest, she was more than aware of what was lacking in Dela’s soothing words: any kind of mention of commitment. And Jinkx knew it was the healthy thing to do. They had barely spent a night together, Jinkx couldn’t expect Dela to promise to never leave her— but that was exactly the problem. If she couldn’t have that guarantee, she couldn’t have anything, it wasn’t safe to risk those feelings of loneliness and abandonment again. And of course, this only made the shame grow again — they were supposed to just be getting to know each other, yet here she was, sobbing because Dela couldn’t promise her eternal support.   
Dela pulled her in closer, and her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “You wanna know a secret?”   
Jinkx raised her teary face from Dela’s breast. “What?”   
“You’re already letting me take care of you.” She smiled. “That’s what this is, you letting me hold you while you cry and tell me how you feel. And is this so bad?”   
Again, she was right. Jinkx bit her lip, a smile daring to try and make its escape onto her face, but she squashed it before it could more than flicker. “I guess not, but—“   
“See?” she interrupted. “This is all this is and all it needs to be. Being held, being talked to, being treated like a human being. Everything else is just anxiety wrapped up in that beautiful little head of yours.” Dela kissed her on the forehead. “You’re okay. You’re safe and you’re okay. I promise.”   
Jinkx stifled a breathy laugh and chewed on the inside of her cheek. She was truly reluctant to admit to herself that maybe Dela was right, maybe there is a gray area between absolute abandonment and absolute 24/7 deep intense emotional support. But despite the terror living in her body, Jinkx knew that she wanted to overcome this, wanted to grow. Jinkx looked down and smiled sheepishly before burying her face back into Dela’s chest and wrapping her arms around her tightly, squeezing herself against Dela as tight as she could. The older woman giggled and squeezed her back, and a healing air of relief and calm flowed between them. They held onto each other as Jinkx slowly came back into her body and allowed herself to be comforted by instead of afraid of Dela’s touch again.   
Their embrace slowly started to loosen until Jinkx finally pulled back enough to look up at Dela again. “I’m sorry for freaking out like that…”   
Dela smiled, somewhere between care and, almost, a pity? “Please don’t be sorry. I’m glad I was able to help you through that.” She furrowed her brows slightly. “How are you doing now?”   
Jinkx let out a light, slightly ashamed laugh. “I’m a lot better, thanks.” She bit her lip. “I guess I needed that.”   
“I guess so.”   
“Listen—“ Dela raised her brows to show she was. “It wasn’t your fault. It really wasn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong — actually, you did everything right, and everything today was so sexy, I’m just, broken or something.”   
To Jinkx’s surprise, the older woman smacked her lightly and playfully on the arm. “You aren’t broken! You were just reacting how you’ve been conditioned to react. That’s what trauma does, teaches our body that certain things are threats and to try to protect us, even when we don’t need that protection.” Dela tilted her head forward. “You are fine. And, I am fine. I’m not upset with you. Though, I think I’ll be a little easier on you next time — that is, if you want a next time…”   
In a way, Jinkx was charmed by Dela’s humbleness, by how she was asking if there would be a next time. It made her feel cared for, and even more than that, desired. Of course she wanted a next time. She wouldn’t mind being taken care of some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! And, if you're reading this as it's coming out, happy Pride!   
> More chapters are definitely coming, though I clearly can't promise with what regularity. 
> 
> As usual, please let me know if you enjoyed, and I'd love to hear your thoughts/ideas/hopes for these two!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relationship building! POV switch! Backstory! Yay!   
> Side note that I don't actually know much about Chad Michaels, and just chose her for this character because I was making a Cher / Burlesque the movie joke. So if you are like the #1 chad stan I'm sorry, but I think I did pretty damn well anyway.   
> Also, let me know if you spot the small reference to my other fic, Sugar Mama! ;)

Not quite carefully enough, Jinkx pulled her pin curls out of her hair and tossed them onto the pile of miscellaneous mysteries that coated her dresser. It had been barely over a day since Dela had left her apartment after the first night they spent together, and Jinkx felt like she was still processing the whole ordeal, emotions dueling in a vicious cycle in her chest. She felt calm, cared for, and ready to get back into the swing of life; she felt like a stupid child who was too reliant on someone who couldn’t give her what she wanted; she felt guilty for spending so much of this past day thinking about Dela; she cursed herself for having such an overworking tornado of a mind and tried to calm herself down; repeat. The day yesterday had ended quite well — eventually they had gotten out of bed and put clothes back on, Dela had done the dishes despite Jinkx’s protests, and Dela had kissed her on the forehead while they were hugging goodbye. Overall, it had gone as well as it could have gone, and it was everything that it needed it to be. And at this point, Jinkx didn’t have the time to think about it anymore, and needed to store her emotional energy for something more important — the burlesque troupe’s first night back on stage at the club after the tour. Jinkx shoveled her makeup and jewelry into her bag and headed out the door.   
…   
In the past day, Jinkx had run seemingly all the possible scenarios for how everything would pan out when they were all back at work, and… this was the most likely one. Sadly. Dela had greeted her with a familiar, yet not too-familiar touch on her back as she walked to her station to get ready. Jinkx kept glancing over at her to see if she could catch her eye, but Dela never looked her way. What had happened to their psychic connection? Weren’t they supposed to feel each others gaze and exchange glances out of the corners of their eyes? At least she could get to watch her do her makeup, looking like a skilled painter as she applied her eyeliner, beauty mark, the perfect shade of red lipstick. Jinkx’s energy was being sapped by her desire for any moment of Dela’s attention that by the time it was almost time for her number, she felt exhausted, and her guilt for being so needy only weighed her down more.   
Jinkx pushed the shiny silver earring into her ear unceremoniously and leaned in closer to her mirror, getting a final close-up look at her makeup ( _God, this lighting really isn’t kind to my nose_ ), and for the first time that evening had her mind tuned to something except Dela, for only a moment — it would have been relieving if she were conscious of it. When she leaned to stand back up, she jumped, a second form greeting her in the mirror. Dela. Jinkx spun around to see the older woman holding her costume out for her, holding the hanger with pride and care, a delighted expression on her face.   
“Here you go!”  
Jinkx felt her heart skip — this was the kind of moment she needed, this act of kindness. She smiled, perhaps wider than appropriate, and took the hanger out of Dela’s hand. “Thanks.” She took the outfit off the hanger.   
“Labors of love.” Dela winked and snatched the empty hanger back up, going off to hang it back on the rack. She returned and leaned onto the table strewn with Jinkx’s messy makeup products. “You ready to be back?”   
Jinkx laughed lightly and made a sound of indifference. “I could have used another day off, but that’s life, I guess.”   
Dela nodded. “Tell me about it,” she agreed.   
It was time for Jinkx to put her costume on, but Dela hadn’t budged, still only inches away. She looked between the costume and her, and suddenly Dela’s expression seemed… expectant? She really wanted her to just strip in front of her, this close, in front of all the girls? Jinkx realized she was holding her breath, and exhaled. She had to be overthinking it; Dela couldn’t actually be looking at her like that, and it was absolutely normal for everyone to change out in the open like this. It was fine. Jinkx returned her gaze to her costume, and carried on their simple conversation. “What about you?” As she slid her leggings off, Jinkx tried to ignore the dull roar of arousal that came from knowing this was a subtle powerplay of Dela’s. _Labors of love my ass._  
Dela drummed her fingers on the vanity, purposefully looking away as Jinkx changed, needing to keep up at least some appearances for the crowd — though she could swear she saw her eyes dart over a few times. Not like she hadn’t already seen all of her before. “After the first few years, it really starts to lose its glitz and glamour.” She smirks, knowing well that there isn’t any glitz in the first place. “Sorry to corrupt your innocence.”   
“Yeah, I know how much you hate doing that,” Jinkx was quick to quip back, and delighted in Dela’s knowing smile in return.   
“Hush now,” Dela scolded through her smile.   
Fastening her silver bra, Jinkx smirked, “Don’t tell me what to do.”   
“I’ll do as I please.” Dela’s voice had taken on a comedic air of overexaggerated haughtiness, but Jinkx knew she wasn’t entirely joking.   
Jinkx exceeded the ridiculousness of her tone. “As will I.”   
Dela hummed, fingernails clacking on the wooden table. “Hmm, good luck with that.”   
“Now who’s the liar?” The two women grinned at each other, almost foolishly, simply enjoying each other’s existences.   
Dela gestured to the final costume piece. “Want help with that?” Jinkx chose to believe she won the flirtation war, though she knew that Dela had spared her — that woman had as much wit as she had talent.   
“Yes please.” At that, Dela’s eyebrow twitched, and she assumed that was a restrained desire to make her call her Mommy. God, if Dela had asked, she would have done it. Jinkx brought the corset around her waist, and Dela took hold of the ribbons. For a moment, Jinkx felt the cozy calm of familiarity as the two fell back into the roles that formed the very basis of their relationship — rookie dancer and experienced, nurturing protector. They positioned themselves in front of the mirror so Jinkx could see how tight it looked, and she was struck with how similar it was to when they were fucking in Jinkx’s bathroom only a day earlier, with Dela pinning Jinkx’s hips to the bathroom sink as she cleaned her tongue with toothpaste-covered fingers in punishment for cursing. All of the body memories rushed back to her at once, and Jinkx felt a surge of warmth rush straight through her body to her cunt. Dela seemed to have had the same realization, and the two women blinked in surprise, making eye contact through the mirror, before both making weak efforts to hide knowing smiles.   
“Am I cutting off your breathing, or are you just blushing?” Dela’s voice was slightly quieter, but not without a heaping of cleverness.  
“Shut up.” Jinkx pushed her hips back in an attempt to nudge Dela away playfully, before realizing that that only mimicked her desperate efforts to grind against her from yesterday.   
Dela grinned maliciously and pridefully before sucking her mouth into a smirk, trying to preserve some semblance of nonchalance. Her voice got even quieter for her next round of teasing, and Jinkx enjoyed feeling like the two of them were in on some special secret. “That’s not a very nice way to talk to Mommy.”   
Jinkx clenched her jaw as another wave of arousal ran though her. Damn this woman and all her perfections and teasings, and damn how attracted she was to her. “And what are you gonna do about it?” The two of them matched each others strong, clever gazes as they made eye contact through the mirror, this battle in such contrast to the previous day’s complete surrender and conquest.   
Dela roughly tightened Jinkx’s corset laces — not enough to hurt her, but enough to make her huff and exhale, a statement of who was really in control. “Are you sure you wanna find out?”   
Jinkx straightened her shoulders. “Try me.”   
“Fine then. That’d better be a promise, because I’ll hold you to it.” Dela laughed quietly as she tied Jinkx’s laces. “Now,” she glanced around them, finding nobody looking their way, before landing a small spank on Jinkx’s ass. “It’s time for your number, go get on stage.” Jinkx’s body vibrated with the sexual excitement of Dela’s touch and banter, the fun feeling of keeping a secret, the elation from knowing her and Dela were back in their rhythm, and the building pre-show adrenaline. She flashed Dela a wide smile before running off to the wings of the stage, heart soaring and body feeling ready to conquer the audience.   
•  
Being around Jinkx made Dela feel like she was drunk. But not drunk on sluggish booze — drunk on some kind of nectar of alluring youth. It wasn’t just how Jinkx looked, with her fiery red hair contrasting with her smooth white skin, curves exactly where they should be, bright pink mouth full of surprises. It wasn’t even just how she moved through the world with intelligence and learned fear, yet retaining this beautiful core of innocence and naiveté for the world. But what truly made Dela feel drunk was how Jinkx looked at her. Those hazel eyes looked up at Dela as if she was an angel, as if she held divine wisdom, as if she was pure and good and flawless, the innocence of a young child looking at their mother. Dela wished it was that easy. She really, truly did. And already, Dela was carrying the guilt of the inevitable future where Jinkx finds out that Dela isn’t the savior angel mother she’s somehow made her out to be. Yet, she couldn’t stop herself, and now it’d gone too far. She had been too drunk on Jinkx’s nectar of youthful innocence, allowed herself to do exactly what she promised she wouldn’t after last time. She listened to the 1% of herself that told her this made sense, everything would be fine, there was nothing wrong with this, because that’s what she wanted to believe. They were just getting to know each other. Right?   
Dela allowed her eyes to linger on Jinkx as she scampered out of sight to hide on the wings of the stage and wait for her music. She wished that she could be an audience of one for her show, have Jinkx perform just for her, body twisting and skin glowing under the stage lights, having psychic conversations through all-knowing, fiery eye contact. Dela didn’t realize she had a foolish grin spread wide across her face until she felt eyes on her — Dela blinked back into reality and followed the feeling, matching the gaze to Chad who stood across the room, eyebrows raised in a mixture of curiosity, skepticism, and disapproval. Dela’s face slid out of its smile and she held Chad’s gaze long enough to not look overtly guilty, though she had no idea what her face or body language was communicating. Realizing she was still standing by Jinkx’s mirror, Dela turned and quickly made her way back to her station, determined to find something to busy herself with even though she knew she was stage-ready.   
She rummaged through her jewelry to make herself look busy, having no idea if Chad was still watching her, or would come over. Dela didn’t have time to try and put names to her feelings before she felt the brush of a hand on her back, and suddenly Chad was beside her.   
The club owner was older than even her, by a solid decade. But she never showed any signs of slowing down — Chad complained about being old, but she was the hardest-working, most badass woman that Dela knew, and Dela still felt indebted to her for giving her a spot as a dancer all those years ago even when they both knew she wasn’t nearly ready. She was one of her closest friends, even though she still would always see her as superior in a way — there were so many reasons why Dela didn’t want to disappoint her.   
But here she was, leaning on her mirror, eyebrows raised as much as they could be with all that plastic in her face. “What was that?” She already knew.   
Dela sucked in her cheek. She didn’t want to lie, and knew she couldn’t even if she wanted to. Dela gave in and gestured to the door of Chad’s office. “Can we talk?”   
Chad eyed her suspiciously and wordlessly walked away, and Dela knew to follow. The door to the dark room closed and Chad immediately went to pour drinks for two of them, an unspoken and unadulterated ritual for over a decade. The women sighed and collapsed onto the orange couch, settling into the spots they’ve always chosen. As Dela took a drink, Chad said, “So. What’d you do?”   
“It’s not that bad.”   
“Good lord.” Chad stared her down. When Dela said that, it usually meant it was that bad.   
“No — hear me out.” At this sad attempt to make excuses, Chad’s skepticism broke into amusement, and Dela found her own face crack into a smile. The two women started to laugh and leaned their bodies back into the couch, the absurdity of the situation sinking in and reminding them how ridiculous life was, how futile attempted seriousness could be. “Wait, wait!” Dela laughed, starting to regain her composure. “It really isn’t that bad.”   
“Mm-hmm.”   
Smile still on her face and laughter still in the air, Dela looked down into her drink and admitted, “We just fucked twice, and she calls me Mommy.”   
Chad nearly screamed, and the two women burst into a fit of laughter again, Chad nearly spilling her drink onto the orange leather couch. “Are you fucking serious?”   
“Yes!” Dela grinned, revelling in the absurdity.   
“Jesus Christ,” Chad chuckled. “I’m trying to run a burlesque club, not some goddamn incestuous lesbian sex cult.”   
Dela laughed, head thrown back, and smacked the older woman on the arm. “It’s not quite a cult yet. Are you open to being recruited? Maybe the next new girl will have a grandmother kink.”   
Chad smacked her back, laughing. “You’re a cunt.”   
“You love me.”   
“I know I do.”   
The women allowed the laugher to calm between them, the humor in the situation’s absurdity dissipating, leaving the two of them back with just truth.   
Chad was the one to break the silence. “Do you like her?”   
Anxiety stirred in Dela’s stomach, but her terminally delightful defense mechanism kicked in before she could begin to discuss the actual implications of the question. “Well of course I like her—“   
“Dela.”   
That was one of the most important things Dela appreciated about Chad — she held her accountable, through all her bullshit. And she was full of bullshit defense mechanisms. Dela chewed on her bottom lip anxiously. “I mean…” she started, giving in and accepting she needed to be honest. “I do really like her. She’s beautiful, she’s intelligent, she’s talented, she’s very fun.” Chad hummed at this, the both of them knowing exactly what Dela meant by fun. “But I also know that I like how she sees me. I like that when I’m around her, I get to be this flawless version of myself, instead of… me.” Dela ran her fingers around the rim of the small glass. “And I know that eventually, one day she’ll realize that I’m not this guardian she’s made me out to be, I’m just a boring old woman, and it’ll break her heart and she’ll regret all the time she wasted on me.”   
“Dela, you know I came up to you ready to be angry, tell you to leave the poor child alone, and pissed that you didn’t tell me anything. So I can’t believe I’m supporting this, but — if she sees you as a guardian figure, that has to be for a reason. She’s too intelligent to put that trust into just anyone. And how do you know that Jinkx wouldn’t like you more, the more she got to know about you? Baby, we’re performers for a reason — we know how to perform on stage, but this also means we know how to use this to hide off-stage. And us who have been doing it the longest, who have been grinding for decades, we know how to give and to give without expecting anything in return.” Chad brought her glass back up to her lips. “Don’t be too proud to take tips.”   
Dela sat with this advice, let it settle in her stomach. She wanted to accept it and be able to march blindly and openly into the adventure that was Jinkx, but that phrase from her past kept circling through her mind: _I’ve grown out of you._  
Chad was watching her expressions, and like the old friend she was, knew what she was thinking. “Stop thinking about Adore.”   
Dela groaned, feeling pathetic. “But—“   
“Nope. Don’t let that old bitch fuck up this new bitch.”   
Dela rolled her eyes and laughed. “That’s poetry.”   
“Thank you.”   
She took another drink and went back to chewing on her lip. It had been three years since Adore broke up with her, since she had told her she was holding her back, since she had told her she had grown out of her and needed to move on. _I’ve grown out of you._ It shouldn’t bother Dela this much anymore, but especially with the age difference between her and Jinkx, she felt like it was inevitable — Adore was only 5 years younger than Dela, miniscule compared to Jinkx’s 15, and Adore had left her in a sort of youthful rebellion. Jinkx was bound to do the same. Dela felt trapped: if she wasn’t vulnerable with Jinkx, Jinkx would grow bored and frustrated with her shallowness and leave, but if she was, Jinkx would realize just how boring her old-person life really was and she would leave. After Adore, Dela didn’t know if she could handle being left again. And beyond this, Dela caught herself thinking of Jinkx “leaving” her — how could she leave her, when there was nothing, no relationship or commitment to leave? How could she even be allowing herself to think in these terms? It was irresponsible to herself and to Jinkx to think of them as being in a relationship. She polished off her drink and played with the glass anxiously. She didn’t know what the hell she was going to do.   
“So what the hell are you going to do?”   
Great. “I don’t know.” Dela shrugged, feeling resigned. “Keep making mistakes until one of them turns out to not be a mistake. That seems to be how my life goes.”   
This made Chad laugh. “That’s my Dela.”   
Dela shifted on the couch, turning to face Chad. “Why are you okay with this? What happened to ‘no lesbian sex cults’?” She realized that subconsciously she may have been counting on the fact that romances in the club were forbidden as an excuse for her and Jinkx to not truly be together, and the guilt and dull panic stirred in her stomach.   
“I’ve never seen you think with your vag, so I figured, if you like Jinkx enough to be fucking fondling her in my club, there must be something special going on.” Something special… that was weird for Dela to think about. She had been trying so hard to be casual, to be removed, so that she could bail at any moment and pretend things were fine. And here was Chad giving her her blessing because clearly there was something special. She was afraid of that being true, because then she couldn’t run, couldn’t remain distant, yet, despite this fear, the idea of it being special also excited her, lighting up a part of her she kept under lock and chain. “You’re a grown-ass woman, and an intelligent one. I trust you. Besides — I know it sounds like some romance novel shit, but I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile like that as you watched her walk away.” Dela’s breath stopped in her chest. Was that true? Was she really that smitten? She both didn’t want to face that truth and was excited by it. Chad shrugged and downed a second drink in one go. “And I know you — you’re a better dancer when you’re getting laid.” Dela gasped as Chad laughed, lifting herself slowly from the couch as if she was elderly. She didn’t turn to look back over her shoulder as she headed for the door. “Come on, we’ve got a show to get back to.”   
The second they stepped out of Chad’s office, Dela caught Jinkx’s eye from across the room. She looked worried at first, probably thinking of all the possible bad conversations that could be going on behind that door and blaming herself. But when she took in Dela’s smile, she seemed to relax. And so did Dela; all of her overthought worries started to evaporate when she laid eyes on Jinkx again. Just seeing her was enough to remind her of what was important: getting to know her. She wanted to know her, and everything else would work itself out. _There must be something special going on..._  
She had started to make a beeline for Jinkx, but Chad grabbed her by the shoulder, brought her head close and spoke softly. “Hey — just don’t go fucking this girl all over my club, alright? I don’t want anyone else getting the idea that they can do this. — Remember that shitshow with Violet? My god…” Chad glided away, back to work.   
Hardly repressing her smile, Dela caught up to Jinkx, back at her station. Her face glistened with a sheen of sweat, her chest was reddened from the exertion of dancing, and it reminded her of watching her get hot and bothered. But beyond the sexual, Dela was flooded with that drunken feeling again, back with Jinkx after Chad had set her straight. She wanted to wrap Jinkx’s small body into her arms, smell her sweet honeysuckle scent, hear her adorable squeaks as she squeezed her too tight, but she didn’t. She couldn’t do that here, but there would be plenty of time for that in the future.   
•  
“What were you two talking about?” Dela was grinning at her, which was exactly the opposite of what Jinkx had expected would happen when Alyssa told her that Chad brought her into her office. A kernel of anxiety still stirred inside her, but she was more excited to hear about whatever Dela was excited about. She saw Dela’s hands twitch and struggle to find a place to rest, and gathered that she wanted to touch her, but felt she couldn’t.   
“Chad saw me, uh,” Dela lowered her voice, “in her words, ‘fondle’ you,” she laughed. “She attempted to scold me for corrupting the youth, but instead we had a couple drinks and she told me we can do what we want.”   
“Really?”   
“Mm-hmm.” Air of confidence and contentment, Dela stretched her arm across Jinkx’s mirror. “The only stipulation is that we can’t,” she changed her voice into a rather horrible impression of Chad, “fuck all over my club.”   
Jinkx giggled, but she wasn’t sure how she felt, or how she should feel. On the one hand, it was a relief, and that had the freedom to be and do whatever they wanted. But on the other hand… they had the freedom to be and do whatever they wanted. It felt as though Chad had given them her blessing to be together when, as far as Jinkx knew, they weren’t, they hadn’t talked about being, and they didn’t know if they wanted to be. It suddenly felt so much more serious. When it was taboo, forbidden, a secret, they had this excuse of not being allowed in the workplace to be able to bail out whenever. Now it was just on them, and was just almost normal, and that was too boring and too restricting… right?   
She must have been thinking too long, because Dela asked, “what’s wrong?”   
Jinkx chewed on the inside of her lip, trying to decide how much to share. “Nothing’s wrong! I’m happy. It’s just…” she watched as Dela furrowed her brows, and she tried to suppress her guilt. “It feels like we’ve gotten a blessing for something that we haven’t even talked about yet.”   
Dela’s face softened into a knowing smile. Jinkx realized that through all the ways Dela had looked at her, she had never looked at her quite she had been for these past few minutes. It was like a piece of her was unlocked, she was standing with more openness, freedom and grace, her eyes started to share as much as they took. She felt the two of them beginning to balance out as equals. Chad must really have an influence over Dela, she thought, and know how to talk to her. Dela’s fingers ran absentmindedly across the mirror frame as she spoke, voice tender yet happy. “You’re right, treasure. I had the same feeling. But, there is no contract, no promises, no expectations — we can keep getting to know each other, however we please, do whatever we please,” she laughed lightly, “and I’ll be able to shrug off a lot of my paranoia and guilt.”   
She had a good point — freedom was freedom, not expectation. And it was true that this way, Dela wouldn’t have the pressure of needing to lie to Chad, which Jinkx hadn’t realized was as big of a deal as it was. She felt a flicker of pride in being worthy of lying about. Without telling it to, Jinkx felt her body inch and pull closer to Dela, desperate to be near to her, to let her energy soothe her. She was brought back to all the moments where Dela took her into her arms and let her rest against her chest, and she remembered that in moments with her, nothing mattered except the present. “That makes sense.” And above all, Dela looked so happy, and so calm, and Jinkx knew that was what mattered. She felt herself break into a smile and sighed, Dela’s contentment seemingly transferring to her, and she allowed for a wave of healthy optimism to rush through her mind. The two women smiled at each other, twinges of caution in both their minds overwhelmed by excitement for the future. Jinkx put her hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow playfully. “I think I’m gonna miss feeling like this is all taboo and forbidden, though.” As soon as the flirtatious challenge left her lips, she realized — it still was. Dela was 15 years older than her, and, well, they were two women. Even if they ever didn’t want their relationship, whatever it was, to be taboo, it was inescapable. But Jinkx was quick to bury these feelings and retain her playful, flirtatious charm.   
Dela didn’t seem to notice her lapse, or chose to continue to play along. “Is that right? You miss breaking the rules, you bad girl?”   
Jinkx couldn’t help but allow the wide smile to spread across her face and her body to twist, hips pulling back and chest pushing out, thrilled by the game and the names laid out by the two of them. “Maybe,” she said, playing innocent.   
Dela brought her arm down from the mirror, resting her hand on the table, as close to Jinkx’s hip as she could without making it too obvious. “You know we’ve still got one rule of Chad’s we can break.” Right, the rule to not ‘fuck all over my club.’ Jinkx felt a surge of excitement and her grin grew wider. She wanted to be bad. Dela smirked at Jinkx’s reaction and turned, beckoning Jinkx to follow. They came to Dela’s station and the older woman rummaged through her bag, eventually pulling out a small gold key. “I’ve gotta go be on stage. Meet me in the prop room after my number.”   
She placed the key in Jinkx’s hand, and the younger girl clutched the cold metal like it would save her life. “You have a key?”   
“Of course I do!” Dela chimed, checking her hair and makeup in the mirror, making sure she was ready to be on stage. “You picked the right woman, I’ve got all the privileges.” She whirled around and placed a hand on Jinkx’s hip, giving her a wordless wink before walking off toward the stage.   
Key in hand, Jinkx watched Dela go off to the wings of the stage, hips swaying and black hair bouncing effortlessly down her back. Just in these last few minutes she had seemed so much freer, more reckless, like this talk with Chad had been a breath of fresh air for Dela. Jinkx was happy for her. A small knot of anxiety twisted in her chest, afraid of losing the Dela that was “Mommy,” afraid of losing that power dynamic thay kept things so exciting. but Jinkx didn’t listen to these voices of worry. She wanted to know Dela, know all of her, be involved in her and her life and her history. She wanted to see her ups and her downs, see all of her masks and defense mechanisms, see who she was without them. They were both performers, and they both knew how to keep those performances up even when off-stage. But Dela like that, grinning and looking at her like she felt liberated, free, and optimistic — that wasn’t an act. She wanted to know that Dela.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think of the little POV switch? I really really enjoyed getting to write as Dela. And I've had her backstory planned out from like chapter 2, so I'm glad I got to share this part of it finally. I'm kind of tempted to go back and write previous scenes from her POV, but I feel like my energy would be better spent continuing the fic in this current direction. What do you all think? 
> 
> And thanks for all your kind comments and kudos everyone, it's great to know people are actually reading this! <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever spent 6+ weeks writing one scene? Have you? Because I have.  
> This chapter is literally as long as my entire other fic, and packed with even more smut, somehow.  
> I love everything about this chapter and am proud of my girls!  
> I hope you all enjoy <3

She had already checked around her a half dozen times, but Jinkx did again, red curls swinging as she turned her head. No one was there. She knew no one was there, but she wanted to be extra extra sure. She wasn’t about to ruin this for them. With this final check, Jinkx was confident, and she slipped the gold key into the lock of the big black door. The lock clicked open and Jinkx slipped inside, feeling like someone in a spy movie, dangerous and clever.

The prop room was black. Pitch black. And she’d never been in here before, so she had no idea where the lightswitch was, what the floor looked like, what sorts of dangerous obstacles could be ready to impale her fragile, pale, helpless body. God damn it. Jinkx clung to the wall and felt around blindly for the lightswitch, finally coming across something that seemed promising and flicking it on. The yellowish overhead light blinded her eyes, in spite of how dim she would later realize it was, and Jinkx squinted them shut, covering her gaze with her arm as she got adjusted to the light and her surroundings. A single yellow bulb lit up the expanse of the cluttered room. Overflowing racks of costumes lined the walls, stacks of cardboard boxes tilted dangerously, glitter and sequins and beads filled every crevice of the cement floor. Jinkx felt somehow both in an alien world and right at home. But most importantly, the excitement of doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing, of sneaking around, and the promise of sex lit up her body and made her ache. Across the room, Jinkx spotted a wire frame bed partially hidden by stacks of boxes. She ran over to it — she had never seen it before and wondered what number it had been used for, before her mind immediately started running with all the ways she could use it in an act. The off-white mattress was stained with the telltale nudes, blacks and reds of makeup, and two of the legs of the bed had wheels attached. Jinkx briefly wondered if anyone had had sex on it before, before deciding that was inevitable. She figured she’d share in the time honored tradition. 

Feeling clever and cute, Jinkx climbed onto the mattress and hid behind the boxes so that her view would be blocked and Dela wouldn’t be able to see her when she came in. She hastily kicked off her shoes, unclasped her bra, took off her corset and slid off her panties, tossing them all in a pile on the ground and leaving her completely bare. God, Dela would love this, she knew she would. Jinkx had just enough time to find a small crack in the boxes at the end of the bed through which she could peer at the door when she heard the handle turn, and Dela carefully stepped inside, locking the door behind her. 

From her place just inside the door, the older woman looked around for her, at first with caution but quickly catching on that it must be a game. “Where are you, Princess?” Jinkx’s stomach fluttered, so happy to be called that name again, and she held in a giddy giggle. “I know you’re in here.” Her tone was almost stern, but overwhelmingly playful. “Hmmm…” Dela overexaggeratedly tapped on her chin. “If I were a princess, where would I be?” She started to walk the opposite direction from where Jinkx was. “I wouldn’t be behind the costume racks…” she brushed at the costumes, “I wouldn’t be behind these boxes…” she peered over some boxes, “Oh, I know! I know exactly where a princess would be.” With all the confidence and grace in the world, Dela strode up to the side of the bed to find Jinkx grinning at her. A flicker of surprise crossed her face, presumably at her nakedness, and Jinkx was proud of herself for being able to make Dela falter at all. 

“You found me!” Jinkx sang, crawling over to the edge of the bed before sitting up on her knees. She wrapped her arms around Dela’s neck, finding her damp with sweat.

“I did. I knew exactly where my little pillow princess would go.” Dela slid her hands down Jinkx’s sides and over her ass, gratefully taking in all of her smooth curves. “And what a nice surprise you had for me…” 

“I am not a pillow princess!” Jinkx protested. 

Dela smirked. “Sure you aren’t.” Jinkx started to pout, but Dela jolted her out of it, pulling her forward by the hips until they were pressed against one another. The collision and body heat radiating between them spiked the tension in the room and in their bodies. “Come here.” The older woman captured her lips between her own, warm and strong and sweet. Jinkx was quick to lose herself in Dela’s kiss, feeling the warmth of sex and of love radiate through her, sweet and loving for only a moment before the urgency began to build. She wanted only to work her lips against hers, she wanted more, more Dela, more. The kiss grew desperate almost immediately as the two threw themselves into the rebelliousness of the moment. Fully aware of the forbiddenness, of how they were intentionally betraying rules and trust, of how they could be caught, it excited the both of them, feeling bad and rogue. Primally excited, the two women leaned into each other with everything they had, needing the entirety of one other, as heavily and quickly as possible. Dela hummed into Jinkx’s mouth and Jinkx let her devour her sweetness, surrendered it to her, willingly gave it away. She wanted Dela to take, take, take, to use. 

Jinkx curled her fingers into the hair at the back of Dela’s head, her sweat dampening her fingers. She’d never understood the appeal of sweatiness before, but now as she felt Dela’s hardworking body against her own, knowing she had just been on stage charming every person who had the privilege to see her, it sent a wave of arousal through her. She imagined her strong, thick body dancing, twirling, jiggling, commanding the stage, shining under the lights, and she grasped onto her tighter. She admired Dela as much as she was turned on by her. The scent of roses, the one that warmed her soul, mixed with the heavily intoxicating smell of Dela’s body and the combination made Jinkx’s head swim, made her hormones roar, and she groaned into Dela’s mouth. This understanding of her hardworking body made her mind leap to fantasies of Dela on top of her, sweaty not from the stage but from working inside of Jinkx with everything she’s got, fucking her senseless — Jinkx pressed her body even further into Dela’s and rolled her hips forward. She needed it. More. 

Dela grabbed Jinkx’s ass as the younger girl rolled her hips into her before taking her head and tilting her back, exposing her neck for her. She started to kiss down Jinkx’s neck, talking dirty to her as she went, red lips pressed into her skin, “Mmm, I love the way you fuck, babygirl, even if you are a bit of a pillow princess.” She grazed her teeth against Jinkx’s neck and the younger girl gasped. “You’re learning, you’re so innocent… I’ll train you well.” She spanked her lightly for emphasis, making Jinkx squeak and cling tighter to her. 

“Yes… train me, teach me, I want to be the best little girl for you.” Jinkx moaned and pressed her hips into Dela, stirring against her, not quite grinding but enough to show her need. “Please.” Yes, she wanted to be trained, she wanted to be taught, wanted to be molded into a perfect little girl fucktoy. Against Dela’s costume, Jinkx felt bare, rough fabrics and sequins brushing up against her bare pussy, this dangerous friction exciting her. 

“You already are, little one. You’re the best babygirl Mommy could ask for.” She cupped Jinkx’s boobs, sliding her thumbs quickly and determinedly over her nipples, and Jinkx shook with shocks of arousal. “You got all nice and naked for me, princess, all ready for me to play with. That was so good of you.” Jinkx sighed at the praise and pressed herself into Dela. “That’s right, baby, so good, and so sexy for me.” Her voice was low, breathy, excited. Dela took her nipple between her lips and slid her tongue across it eagerly. Jinkx moaned out, foggy and unconcerned with anything that wasn’t Dela. Shocks and shudders of pleasure ran straight to her pussy as Dela’s warm, wet mouth teased her nipple and Jinkx grasped onto Dela’s damp skin for dear life as her hips pressed and rolled into Dela’s dance costume. The thought of leaving her wetness on the costume made her hot, knowing that audiences would see it and have no idea, but the mark of their erotic secret would still be there. 

Jinkx was intoxicated already, desperate, body surging with need for touch and excitement of rebellion. It had only been a day since they last fucked, but Jinkx’s body was desperate for Dela as if it had been years. Dela sucked and rolled her tongue over her nipple, but Jinkx had other ideas: “Leave marks on me,” she breathed, and Dela looked up at her. “I want everyone to know what we’ve done, to see how you treat me, to know who I belong to. I want the audiences to know that I’m claimed.” She held to Dela’s hair tighter, her own words exciting her as she spoke them, already lost in the fog of lust. “That I’m Mommy’s little slut.” 

Removing her mouth from Jinkx’s breast, Dela let out a low sigh that was almost a groan, hands moving hungrily over Jinkx’s curves. The lust behind her eyes defied the dominant smirk on her face. A sense of urgency still surrounding them in their rebellion, Dela grabbed Jinkx’s hair and tilted her head back, strong and quick, the young girl folding backward easily, eager to open her body for use by the older woman. “That’s right, you’re my little slut. Look at how easily you give in to me, all naked and exposed for me, desperate for me to claim you.” 

Jinkx whined and stirred her hips. “Please…” 

Dela brought a hand up to Jinkx’s neck and pressed her fingernails into her skin, dragging them down and leaving light red scratch marks against her pale skin. “You’re such a bad girl, with so many naughty ideas. Fucking in public like this, breaking all the rules, now asking to be marked and to be hurt. Such a naughty little girl. You really want me to leave marks on you, baby?” 

“Yes!” 

She smoothed her thumb over the marks she had just left, surveying rather than tender. “What are you gonna do when everybody sees?” 

“Be proud I get to show off that I’m getting fucked by the sexiest woman in the world.” 

The statement was surprisingly sweet, and the urgency of the desperate powerplay paused for a moment as the two women shared a moment of psychic eye contact, genuine appreciation for each other glowing behind their dominant and submissive roles. They let this moment last as long as it needed to, settling in their hearts, before the energy switched back on and they fell back into place, the sense of safety and compassion always lingering but overridden by desire, excitement and, in Jinkx’s case, lust for pain. 

Dela placed her hand on Jinkx’s hip, fingers spread, and slid her hand up the younger girl’s body that was bent backward on the bed in front of her, claiming it. “You want everybody to know how good Mommy fucks you?” 

Jinkx’s hips twitched and her voice started to pitch up into a whine. “Please, yes.” Pinning her to the bed, Dela finally brought her red lips to the sensitive flesh of Jinkx’s neck and started to suck, beginning to leave the first of many marks on her white canvas. Jinkx let out a surprisingly low whine, almost a growl, starting to dissolve into this primal understanding of herself as owned, restrained prey. Dela claimed Jinkx’s body with her mouth, bringing her lips all across her neck and chest, leaving shiny spit and dark broken blood vessels in her wake. She sunk her nails into the flesh of the younger girl’s hip, making her hiss and her attention fray, overstimulated by all of the pain, warmth, arousal, adrenaline, everything that coursed through her fragile body and mind. The sharp pain of Dela’s nails contrasted severely with the soft warmth of her tongue on her skin, yet both were erotic reminders of her exploitation, and she could only moan, mind blank. 

When Dela decided she was satisfied with her work, the finished masterpiece looked truly like a painting, deep red lipstick smeared all across Jinkx’s chest matched with red lines from her teeth and nails, purple broken blood vessels, pink from sucked-on skin, and a flush radiating from underneath the aroused girl’s chest. Jinkx could only see the marks on parts of her chest, but all of it was more than enough to excite her, and she writhed with excitement in Dela’s grasp, the older woman still having her bent backwards and gripped by her hair. She moved her hand from her hip to smack Jinkx’s nipple, making the younger girl jump at the shock of pleasure. “You want more, baby?” 

“Yes,” Jinkx breathed, pressing herself up into Dela. “Please, please more.” 

Dela tenderly brought her hand up to Jinkx’s chin and stroked her face. “Are you sure?” 

“I want you to wreck me. I need you to. And I need everyone to know.” 

Powerful smirk turning almost into a grin, Dela released her hair and gestured to the other side of the bed. “Scoot up.” Jinkx shuffled so that she was on the bed long-ways. “Turn over.” Jinkx easily obeyed, not even thinking to say no, instead excited by all the ways she could be marked like this. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” 

“Where are you going?” Jinkx asked, voice almost pathetic, as Dela turned away, a little twinge of fear coming from not wanting to be left alone in this room in such a state. 

“I’m not leaving you baby. Just looking for something.” Dela’s movements were quick as she moved through the room, dodging boxes and props and all sorts of clutter. The sound of shuffling cardboard came along with her voice, both matched with a certain urgency, “I know it’s here somewhere, just not sure if— ah!” A quiet, breathy, triumphant laugh followed. More sounds of shuffling cardboard, then some peculiar sounding clinking noises, then the telltale sounds of high heels on the floor. She placed her hand gently on Jinkx’s arm, “I’m back.” 

“Good.” She was going to follow up with something sweet or bratty, she never knew which until it left her lips, when she felt Dela’s hand move down her arm to grab her wrist. She pulled both of her wrists up and back until they rested on her back, pressed together. Dela then pulled her hips up and pressed on her legs, guiding her to tuck them under herself. Jinkx felt a stir of arousal within her as she felt positioned like a little doll, put into whatever positioned her Mommy wanted. With her legs spread and ass up and hands restrained behind her, Jinkx’s face and knees were the only things holding her up. It was surprisingly humiliating, having her face pressed into the mattress like that, turned to the side so she could breathe, makeup undoubtedly smearing and staining the once-white mattress. She tried to ignore her own personal embarrassment of knowing she must look ugly, and the feeling of her double chin pressed up against her neck, trusting that these things wouldn’t be enough to make Dela dump her. 

The soft clinking sound returned. “I’m gonna put these on you, and then you’re gonna use your colors to tell me if it’s okay. Alright?” 

Handcuffs? The idea sent a mix of arousal and anxiety through Jinkx’s body. She wondered if handcuffs left marks. “Yes Mommy.” 

“No, no.” Dela stopped, leaning over to make eye contact with Jinkx. “Not an order. Is this something you are okay with trying?” 

Jinkx attempted to nod, though it was hard with her face pressed to the mattress. Dela was being gentle with her, in her own way — breaking her blood vessels and handcuffing her, but carefully checking on her emotionally. “Yes! I am.” Dela stood all the way back up. “Do handcuffs leave marks?” 

Dela’s expression in reaction to this was hard for Jinkx to read — she looked almost discomforted by the question, and Jinkx wondered what she’d done wrong. Was she showing her sexual ignorance again? “Yes, baby, they can.” Her voice was steady, before she broke into a half-smile and made eye contact with Jinkx, communicating something along the lines of _‘you’re damn cute.’_ The older woman fastened the handcuffs around Jinkx’s wrists. “Try them out.” Jinkx lifted her wrists and tugged on the cuffs, tried sliding out of them to no avail. They were cold and felt heavy, sturdy, and serious — Jinkx felt like she was starting to break into the real deal world of kink with these on. All of it excited her, the feeling of the cuffs on her skin, the surrender of autonomy that they symbolized, remembering who put her in them, anticipation of what would come next, the knowledge that if someone walked in right now, this is how they would find her. Dela took Jinkx’s small fingers and pressed them into the cuffs. “If there’s an emergency and you need to get out, you can press on this latch, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Color?” She looked at her as if this were the most serious question in the world. Perhaps it was. 

“Green.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Jinkx smiled. “Yes, Mommy. I like them.” 

Dela laughed lightly, though clearly finding this exciting. “You like them?” 

“Yeah!” Jinkx wiggled her fingers enthusiastically, making Dela laugh more. 

“Let’s see how long that stays true. Now, I’ve got one more surprise for you.” Dela pulled something from out of Jinkx’s limited view and presented it to her, making sure to explain what it was in case Jinkx didn’t know, “it’s a paddle.” 

“Is that going to leave little hearts on me?” Jinkx couldn’t contain her excitement, the idea of the heart cutout on the black leather paddle leaving cutesy marks on her skin both arousing and delightful. 

Dela smiled. “If I hit you hard enough with it.” 

Jinkx wiggled her butt in the air. “Please, please hit me hard with it.” 

Dela brought the paddle gently to her ass, smoothing the leather over her skin. “Are you sure baby?” 

Jinkx cooed and wiggled her ass again. “Nnn, yes.” 

“It’s gonna hurt,” Dela cautioned. 

“I want the hearts!” Jinkx chimed. “Please give me the hearts, pleeease?” Her childish behavior sent a familiar roll of arousal and adrenaline through her body. She arched her back further downward and hummed. “Nnnn, hurt me…” 

“You’re such a cute little girl. You’d be so good — too bad you’re such a slut. Desperate for Mommy to hurt you.” She laid the lightest smack of the paddle against Jinkx’s ass, and the younger girl shivered with need. “I didn’t know little girls could be this needy.” 

“Just for you,” Jinkx echoed, “just for my Mommy.” 

Dela hit her with the paddle again, just barely harder. “You need your Mommy?” 

“Yes,” Jinkx sighed, “I need my Mommy.” 

The paddle came down harder this time, the first spank that was significant enough to hurt, even just a little bit. Adrenaline rolled through Jinkx at the feeling, and at the knowledge that it was going to get much worse. “What do you need Mommy to do?” 

Jinkx pressed her ass up, in effect dragging her face against the mattress. “Spank me, hurt me, leave marks on me, punish me, please. I need everyone to know how good Mommy takes care of me.” 

Dela started to spank her continuously, gradually working up the intensity of it. “Mommy takes great care of you, doesn’t she? Turning you into a little pain slut?” 

“Yes…” 

“Tying you up and bruising you to show the world just how good I treat you?” She punctuated her claim with the hardest spank yet, making Jinkx jolt and gasp. “Everyone will know that I don’t let my little girl get away with being bad.” Another hard slap, another loud gasp. “You naughty little girl, wanting to break the rules, so needy you want to get fucked in public like this — everyone will know I punished you for it, for being such a slutty little girl, and everyone will know how good I fucked you.” Finally, Dela landed a spank with the paddle that was hard enough to leave a heart imprint on Jinkx’s skin. Jinkx whined and jolted from the pain, tugging on her handcuffs and panting into the sheets, unable to move whatsoever to react to being hit. “Ooh, so pretty…” Dela set the paddle down and smoothed her thumb over the mark it had left. 

“It left a heart?” Jinkx surprised herself at how strained her voice sounded. 

“Yes baby. A pretty little heart on your pretty little ass.” 

“More,” Jinkx pleaded, more desperate than before, and wiggled her ass again. 

Dela tsk’d and spanked her with the same intensity again, but this time didn’t stop. The paddle went down against her again, and again, and again, leaving little heart imprints all over her ass and upper thighs. The more blows Dela landed, the more the pain skyrocketed, and Jinkx jolted and twitched and gasped and moaned with each strike. Each blow sent a shock of pain through her body, the excitement collecting in her center. Knowing how helpless she was to Dela’s control made her even wetter — Although her body ached to protect itself, it couldn’t, rendered powerless by the position Dela had chosen for her. It was humiliating, frustrating, stressful— exciting. As her wrists strained against the handcuffs, hands curled up into little fists, Jinkx felt herself start to tremble; the adrenaline rush from not being able to protect herself from Dela’s beatings was dizzying. “You still like this, baby? Still think this was a good idea? Are all the little hearts worth all this pain?” Dela finished her statement with the hardest spank yet, and Jinkx cried out, body lurching forward to press her face further into the mattress. 

“Yes,” Jinkx managed, voice sharing the combination of arousal and frustration that plagued her body. She whined and pushed her ass up, still wanting more after all this, and Dela responded to that with another harsh slap, leaving another heart mark on her skin. Jinkx moaned out, mouth pressed into the mattress humiliatingly. “Ohhh, it’s so good.” She was surprised at herself — she was hurt so bad she was trembling with adrenaline, but still she was moaning and wanting more. Dela really had turned her into her little pain slut. This idea rolled through her body with a wave of warmth; she felt claimed, corrupted, loved, exploited, aroused. Her Mommy had turned her into a naughty, slutty, desperate little whore who just wants to be hurt. It makes her pussy ache to think about. 

Dela’s spanks kept getting sharper — one after the other, she landed unforgiving strikes on her raw skin, leaving hearts and leaving bruises. Jinkx started to jolt her hips down and away from Dela, both to try - and fail - to fuck onto the bed, and to keep herself safe from Dela’s beatings. Dela laid a particularly intense strike against her, leaving a purple bruise in its wake, and Jinkx yelped and strained her wrists against the handcuffs. Her wrists had become raw from straining against their imprisoning cuffs, and Jinkx understood how they could leave marks — it felt like with every movement, her skin was being cut into. She tried to push her hands back, to protect herself any way she could, but it was hopeless. She was completely restrained, forced into submission by her Mommy while she punished her. 

“My bad girl, I wish you could see what you look like,” Dela mused, voice low, breathy, claiming. “All pink and raw and bruised, but trying to save yourself. It’s pathetic.” Jinkx whined at this word, surprised by how much it turned her on. Imagining how submissive she looked right now, how she had been manipulated and positioned into pathetic submission and pain, but how much she loved and begged for more, it stirred the darkest parts of Jinkx’s arousal. Dela had got her pinned and restrained, ass-up, covered in bruises on a dirty mattress in a closet, and Jinkx was loving it. Just this knowledge of her own sluttiness made her wetter. Dela spanked her again, hard enough to add another bruise to her new collection, and Jinkx moaned out, feeling the tornado inside of her grow even wilder. Her body lurched and her shoulders pushed back, trying to get her cuffed hands any closer to her ass, but it was a futile struggle. Even knowing Jinkx couldn’t save herself, Dela brought her free hand up to press her back down in the mattress. “Nuh-uh, baby. Be good and stay down.” 

Jinkx whined and pressed her face into the mattress, panting. “It hurts,” she breathed. 

“I know it does, treasure. Isn’t that what you wanted?” She spanked her again and Jinkx choked back a whine. “You wanted Mommy to hurt you, right? To leave marks on you?” Another spank landed on top of a raw bruise and Jinkx let out a pathetic, high sob. She clenched her fists tightly, nails pressing into her palms. “You’re gonna walk out of here covered in bruises so bad that performing’s gonna hurt. The audiences are gonna see your raw ass and wonder who could have been so kind, so caring enough to hit you hard enough to bruise you so much.” 

“Yes,” Jinkx whined, and bit her lip. The idea of being on stage covered in the bruises of Dela, showing off her submission to her Mommy and Dela’s harsh care, sends a fire of arousal through her body. It turns her on so bad to know that they’ll last for days, hundreds of people will see her marked body, everyone will know that she is claimed. Her body doesn’t belong to her, her body doesn’t belong to the audience — her body belongs to Mommy and Mommy alone. 

Dela’s hand returned to press on the back of Jinkx’s neck, holding her face firmly against the mattress. Jinkx braced herself for a hard spank, but still was shocked, the hardest yet coming down against her as Dela said, “And who did it? Who’s the one that spanks you?” 

Through her trembling gasps, Jinkx replied, “My Mommy!” 

Another harsh spank struck against her raw ass. “Who’s the one that punishes you?” 

Jinkx’s body recoiled downward, trying to get away, and her thighs started to shake underneath her. But Jinkx remained faithful, always faithful. “My Mommy!” 

Dela’s voice broke into something more intense, almost angry, almost desperate as she growled, “Who’s the one that takes care of you?” 

Jinkx whined out as she was spanked again and pulled at her handcuffs helplessly. “My Mommy does!” 

Dela abruptly grabbed Jinkx by the hair and hauled her upwards so she sat up on her knees, hands still restrained behind her back. It was the first time they had made eye contact in far too long, and the intensity in Dela’s eyes sends a shock through Jinkx. Landing one final hard, sharp, merciless strike against Jinkx’s ass, Dela asked, “And who’s the one that fucks you?” 

Jinkx let out a high pitched sob between broken breath, need pounding between her thighs. Her body surged with the adrenaline of restraint and arousal of use. “My Mommy! Please!” 

Dela licked her lips and brought her face closer into Jinkx’s. She dropped the paddle and moved to tug sharply at Jinkx’s hard nipple. “Please what?” 

Jinkx whined and tossed in Dela’s grasp. “Please! Fuck me!” She shuddered and pushed her hips down toward the mattress, trying to get any kind of friction against her bare pussy. “Oh my god, fuck me, fuck me please Mommy!” She cried out and shook as Dela tugged on her nipples mercilessly, the older woman clearly delighting in her helplessness. Jinkx wanted to reach out and touch her, but she couldn’t, hands locked in place. 

Swiftly, Dela pushed Jinkx backwards onto the bed so she was lying face up, hands still restrained behind her back, and finally brought herself onto the mattress. She spread Jinkx’s legs and started to kiss and run her tongue up the inside of her thigh, retaining the urgent and momentous energy while still teasing the younger girl. Jinkx gasped and shook, the promise and suspense and sensation of this almost too much for her, mind whirling with the static of need. “My dirty little girl thinks she’s gonna get fucked? Gonna get fucked by Mommy in this closet, come all over this dirty mattress? Is that what you want, you naughty little whore?” 

That’s right, that’s exactly what she was, dirty and naughty and little and bad. Jinkx twisted her trembling hips and pressed her thighs greedily into Dela’s face. “Yes Mommy, please! Please make me come, I’m so bad.” 

Dela’s voice lilted into mocking patheticness as she teased Jinkx’s skin. “Such a whiny little girl, so needy for me. So desperate for Mommy, it’s pathetic.” 

Jink’s fingers twisted impatiently as she wished she could just pull Dela’s face into her cunt, but all of her pleasure was entirely at Dela’s mercy. Jinkx’s hips twitched on their own, body convulsing with need. “Please, I need you, I need my Mommy to make me come, I need it so bad!” 

Making strong eye contact, Dela licked her lips. “Mmm, I’m gonna make you scream so loud the whole club knows you’re getting fucked.” Determined and powerful, Dela pushed Jinkx’s legs even farther apart and finally brought her lips to Jinkx’s pussy, massaging her generously.

“Yes!!” Jinkx’s voice broke into a high-pitched sob and her hips pressed down into Dela’s mouth, needing to feel every millimeter of her touch. Eyes shut and mouth hanging open, Jinkx was carried away by Dela’s lips and tongue, the older woman working into her wetness with passion and lust. Her tongue was so soft it was driving her mad, making her feel warmer and needier than she imagined she could ever feel. She felt herself throb as she remembered where they were, what they were doing, imagined all the people who could hear them — the feeling of forbiddenness combined with feelings of dependency, deviancy, exploitation, and absolute lust to make Jinkx absolutely wild, moaning openly into the still air of the dingy back room. Her wrists strained against the handcuffs as she writhed, frustrated that she could not press Dela closer into her or at the very least touch her, and she was only distantly aware of how raw the skin of her wrists had become. Her pink and bruised ass rubbed against the mattress, a dull throbbing rawness echoing constantly, yet this pain only added to Jinkx’s arousal. Mommy really had turned her into a little pain slut. Dela pressed her tongue into her, sucked on her, hummed into her, doing everything in her power to push Jinkx to her limits, to break her little brain. When the older woman reached her hand up to tug at Jinkx’s nipple again, she jolted violently and moaned out, the shock of arousal sending her into a level of vulnerability and bliss she had never quite reached before — for the first time, Jinkx was able to truly check out, completely surrender herself to Dela and stop trying to think, fight, control. All she could do was be fucked, give herself fully to Dela and trust her completely to take her safely through this ride. She moaned mindlessly as the pace of Dela’s tongue got stronger and harder in her cunt, until Dela pulled away. 

Drinking her in with her alight yet steady gaze, Dela leaned forward to slide her fingers into Jinkx’s mouth. Through heavy, lustful breath, Dela instructed, “get them all nice and wet for me babygirl, mmm.” She slid them out with a wet pop and groaned, “good girl.” 

A roll of warmth passed through Jinkx at the praise, and her mouth echoed, dazed, “I’m a good girl.” 

“Yeah, baby,” Dela encouraged, “such a good girl.” 

She pressed her fingertips to Jinkx’s entrance and the younger girl moaned out in anticipation. “Ohh, I’m a good girl.” 

“So good.” Licking her lips and hungrily watching Jinkx’s blissed out face, Dela pushed two fingers inside of Jinkx, herself letting out a low groan. “You’ve got such a perfect little pussy.” 

Jinkx let out a breathy moan as Dela entered her, graced with the contentment that only comes with this sense of fullness, despite how desperately needy and frustrated she was simultaneously. She bit her lip and groaned, “a good girl.” 

Dela seemed amused by Jinkx’s new chant, but not any less predatorily watchful and lustful. “Mm-hmm,” Dela encouraged, “a good girl who’s gonna let everybody know who’s fucking her right.” With this, Dela brought her lips back to Jinkx’s clit and started to slide her fingers in and out of her hole, finally fucking Jinkx how she was meant to, how she needed her to. 

Jinkx was overcome with the intense pleasure of Dela — the softness of her lips and tongue and the fullness from her fingers overloaded her senses, leaving her to be completely subject to, dependent on, controlled by her body and how Dela manipulated it. With her hands restrained and mind blank, Jinkx could do nothing but be fucked and moan out. “I’m a good girl…” Dela pressed her tongue into Jinkx’s clit generously, making Jinkx whine and thighs start to shake. Desperate for more friction, more intensity, more speed, Jinkx started to work her hips against Dela’s fingers, needing to feel as full and as fucked as she could. “Oh, I’m a good girl…” the phrase became almost a mantra, the only thing her mouth could say in this meditative state, a reminder of her ultimate purpose, status, and goal: to be good for Mommy. It was the highest honor and the only acceptable path. As Dela fucked her at a faster pace, so came the mantra, falling out of her lips between heavy breaths. “I’m a good girl, I’m a good girl, I’m a good girl.” Dela fucked into her faster, harder, digging her tongue into her flesh in a way that made Jinkx short-circuit, eyes rolling back into her head and hips brokenly bucking down onto Dela’s face. “Ohhhh fuck, I’m, a good girl, I’m a good girl, I’m a good girl!” As Dela kept up the pace, Jinkx’s voice switched into a broken plea and her whole body started to shake. “I’m a good girl.” Then, miraculous, Dela’s tongue and fingers hit their sweet spots at the same time and Jinkx gasped violently, body jolting with the shock of desperate need, and her mouth started to leak words she wasn’t in control of— “I’m a good girl, I’m a good girl, I’m a good girl getting fucked by Mommy, getting fucked so good by Mommy, Mommy’s gonna make me come, gonna come all over Mommy’s face, oh god, oh fuck, oh fuck, Mommy!” Dela moaned loudly into her cunt to encourage her, and Jinkx’s voice broke into a high pitched whine as she arched her back and fucked furiously onto Dela. “Mommy! Mommyyy! Oh fuck, Mommy!” Body convulsing violently, completely overcome with primal pleasure, Jinkx’s pleading sobs broke into a scream as she came. Just as Dela had ordered her to, Jinkx screamed for her Mommy as she made her come, making sure anyone and everyone could hear just how hard she was cumming and how good her Mommy was fucking her. This was the truest public display of affection, and she had no capacity for shame, body surrendered entirely to Dela, her orders and her skills. Wave after wave of intense pleasure coursed through her, making Jinkx gasp, jolt and shudder, trembling thighs closing around Dela’s face. She moaned and cursed and sighed as Dela continued to fuck her through the end of her orgasm and her aftershocks, not leaving her until Jinkx finally guided her to with “fuck, okay, okay.” 

At this, Dela pulled away and grinned up at her, face flushed and eyes wide. She slid her hands up Jinkx’s body and the rest of her followed suit until she was fully on top of her. “You did it, you came so good for me, screaming my name.”

“You felt so good Mommy, holy fuck, you’re incredible,” Jinkx praised, genuine and warm through her shakenness. 

Dela pressed her lips into Jinkx’s in a kiss made of passion, appreciation and lust. She sucked Jinkx’s tongue into her mouth and Jinkx hummed, open-mouthed, tasting herself on Dela’s lips. Dela held Jinkx’s face with both of her hands, simultaneously cradling it and claiming it as she kissed her. Jinkx felt warm, fuzzy, simultaneously clear and dizzy, as she radiated with the calm of the aftereffects of her orgasm. But Dela, she could tell that Dela was far gone, so turned on by making Jinkx cum, bruise, scream for her that she was foggy with lust. Dela subtly started to push her hips into Jinkx, getting the littlest bit of pressure on herself as she sucked on Jinkx’s lips and tongue, drinking all of her in, using her mouth for her own pleasure. 

Jinkx hummed into Dela’s mouth before finally managing to reclaim her mouth for long enough to speak, voice still higher pitched and childlike for Dela’s sake, “mmm Mommy, lemme make you come, please?” 

Dela smiled and hummed into her mouth, sucking on her tongue one last, deliberate time. “Mm, that’s my good little girl. You wanna taste Mommy’s pussy?” Dela’s voice was heavy, dark, low and breathy, and it showed just how turned on Dela was. 

“Yeah,” Jinkx cooed and licked her lips, batting her eyelashes, “I miss your pussy, please lemme taste it, please? I wanna be such a good little slut for you and make you come real good Mommy.” 

Dela hummed and kissed down Jinkx’s neck, making Jinkx’s arousal flicker back to life, already rekindled even after cumming so recently. Jinkx knew that though these kisses carried some affection and appreciation, this was clouded by a feeling of use, of Dela enjoying sucking on her neck and turning her on as a way to further her own arousal, to push herself even closer, to get as much pleasure as she could out of her body and this moment. Dela let out a soft groan and pushed her hips down into the mattress before grabbing Jinkx and sitting her up. She wrapped her arms around her loosely, Jinkx only realizing what she was doing when she heard that clinking again, and suddenly her wrists were free. Dela then reached around to her own back and finally slid out of her costume, bra and panties, bare before Jinkx. “Touch me, pretty girl,” Dela instructed, pulling Jinkx’s arms back around in front of her and up to Dela’s large, soft breasts. Jinkx’s wrists were pink and raw, and her shoulders and elbows ached with stiffness, but she had no interest in caring about any of this, only wanting to pleasure Dela, to give her everything she had. She tugged, rubbed, flicked over Dela’s nipples, entranced by the older woman’s responses, gasping and jolting and shaking and sighing from her touch. “Yes…” She was so sensitive, Jinkx thought, and so turned on — her chest reddened with arousal under the few lines and freckles of age. Jinkx pressed her lips into her chest, kissing and sucking lightly on her skin, wanting to fall into Dela, to be enveloped in her, and to give her everything she had. Jinkx felt herself cede to Dela’s rhythm, completely release herself over to the pulses of the older woman’s body, and just gave and gave, kissing all over her chest, caressing every inch of her body. Is this how Dela felt when she topped her, in tune with all of her needs and breaths like this? Jinkx hummed into Dela’s skin as she brushed over her nipples again, and figured that must be the case. The difference here was that her own giving was of her entirety, in contrast to Dela’s which came contingent. 

Jinkx pushed Dela oh so lightly onto her back and the older woman smiled, open-mouthed, amused by the gentle touch of her submissive. And she obliged, coming to lie on her back, propped up on her elbows, red lips parted in mindless lust. Jinkx began to kiss down Dela’s front, leaving traces of red lipstick everywhere she touched her pale, soft skin. Dela sighed and brought her hand to Jinkx’s hair, lightly, not guiding. “My princess,” she praised breathily, and Jinkx smiled into her skin. The closer her mouth drew to Dela’s pussy, the more Dela started to jump, to squirm, to sigh, clearly more than ready for Jinkx to taste her. She was just so gorgeous, lying there in only her heels and jewelry, looking so needy for her, and Jinkx understood why Dela looked at her the ways she did. As her lips reached Dela’s lower stomach, Jinkx pressed her nails into the skin at Dela’s hip and she jolted and let out a short breathy gasp, followed by a light laugh, “learning new tricks?” 

“Only from the best.” Jinkx smirked. 

“Don’t get any ideas.” Dela pushed her head down, rougher than necessary, reminding Jinkx who was in charge. Jinkx held in a smile, turned on by this rough treatment, wanting Dela to just seize her and force her face into her cunt. Looking up at her with challenging eye contact, Jinkx sunk her nails into Dela’s flesh and dragged them across her skin. Dela hissed and grabbed Jinkx’s wrist forcefully, her tone shifting entirely, the air of affection they had cultivated retreating fully back to the cold powerplay of her domination. Dela held Jinkx’s wrist back and Jinkx watched her think, if only for a second, before deciding on her punishment -- “Fine. I thought you said you were a good girl, but if you want to be a brat, so be it.” She then sat up all the way and grabbed the handcuffs. 

“No!” Jinkx protested. “I wanna touch you!” 

But Dela wrestled her into them, leaving her with her wrists clasped behind her back like before. “You know better than to disobey Mommy, and you know better than to expect me to let you get away with it.” Jinkx tingled with the mix of arousal, excitement and anxiety of restraint. She watched with hungry eyes as Dela settled back onto the bed and spread her legs slowly and seductively. The sight of Dela like that made Jinkx’s brain melt. She needed to give her pleasure, she just had to. Even though she was pouting, she was even more excited, stirred by the idea of her face being totally used by Dela, leaving her defenseless with her hands restrained. But her excitement crumbled to a panic as she watched Dela slide her hand across her thigh and over her pussy, a graceful finger sliding across her wetness and massaging herself gently. 

“That’s not fair!” Jinkx was crushed. Watching Dela touch herself would have been a delicious privilege in any other situation, but now it was heartbreaking. It was supposed to be her that was touching her like that, it was supposed to be her mouth on her pussy like that. It wasn’t fair. 

“I think it’s very fair.” Dela’s tone was controlled, but she couldn’t hide the break in her voice, the need seeping through. She watched her patiently, green eyes in a steady gaze, as she touched herself. “You hurt Mommy, and did what I told you not to do. That isn’t very nice.” Dela’s fingers worked skillfully against herself, and Jinkx didn’t know where to look, enjoying the view but knowing Dela was watching her. “Bratty little girls need punishment to learn.” 

Jinkx twisted and pulled at her cuffs. “I’ve learned, I’ve learned! Please let me out,” she pouted. “Please, please let me touch you.” 

Dela raised her eyebrows and, seemingly subconsciously, licked her lips and left them parted in desire. “Have you learned?” she tested. 

Jinkx pulled harder at her cuffs and hissed as she felt them dig into her already raw skin. The pain sent a shot of arousal straight to her cunt. “Yes! I’m really sorry Mommy. Please.” 

“Hmm, I don’t think that’s good enough,” Dela pressed. Jinkx felt excitement roll through her body as she recognized Dela’s powerplay. Again, all of Jinkx’s desires were completely at Dela’s mercy, and all she could do was beg. 

Jinkx whined poutily and twisted, hips shifting frustratedly. She bit her lip and frowned as she enviously watched Dela touch herself, before realizing what it was that she really wanted. “Please, just use me, I just want you to use me.” She was surprised at herself, begging like this, except nothing had ever felt more true. Dela watched her with a darkening gaze, and her fingers worked more quickly against her wetness as Jinkx begged for her. Through shaky breaths, Jinkx continued, “I’m so so sorry, I just want to be Mommy’s good little slut, I need to be your fucktoy, I have to, please use me, I need it.” She squirmed in her handcuffs, turned on by her own desperation and crucial dependence. As she spoke, her hips started to twist against the mattress, visibly bothered and aroused at her own surprising need. “Use my little girl mouth on your cunt, use me like a toy in this fucking closet, make everyone outside know what a good slut I am for my Mommy.” Saying these perverted words sent shocks through her bare body and made her mind fuzzy, and Jinkx balled her hands up into fists, trying to keep herself controlled. She bit her lip and grinded her hips downward, looking up at Dela through her lashes. “Please.” 

Dela’s breath was heavy as she devoured Jinkx’s performance. “Jesus Christ.” It was an expression of amazement, Jinkx knew. With a low growl, Dela abruptly reached up and pulled Jinkx down over her by her hair. Jinkx fell on her hard, unable to really hold herself up with her hands cuffed, and their hot skin pressed together and lit up both of them in a new way. One of Dela’s strong hands pulled at Jinkx’s hair, keeping her face angled up at an uncomfortable angle, and their eyes locked each other’s gaze, conveying all of the powerplay they were performing; the other hand came down in a hard spank against Jinkx’s already pink and bruised ass, and the younger girl yelped in pain and pushed her hips down into Dela to try and escape. It wasn’t entirely a fun hurt. Jinkx felt Dela’s heavy breath on her face and neck as she spoke, voice aroused and twisted darkly, “I can’t believe what a disgusting slut you are.” Another harsh spank slapped against her skin,making Jinkx wince and cry. “Two days ago you barely knew how to eat pussy, and now you’re begging for me to hurt and use you.” Dela started to build up the intensity her spanks, pain ringing through Jinkx’s body unceasingly, making it hard for her to comprehend all the dirty things Dela was saying to her. “I’ve turned you from an innocent girl into such a desperate, insatiable little slut. Turned you into a fun toy for Mommy. Fucking incredible.” 

Through the pain of the spankings and chaotic whirring of her mind, Jinkx asked, voice lilting innocently, wanting to press Dela farther, “am I a good toy?” 

Dela huffed and smiled loosely, amused and incredulous, still gripping Jinkx tight by the hair. “You wanna be a good toy?” 

High-pitched and desperate, Jinkx responded “yes!” 

Scolding, Dela spanked her once more and tugged harder at Jinkx’s hair, making her yelp again. “How do you address me?” she challenged. 

Voice broken, fearing more punishment she wasn’t sure she’d be able to take, Jinkx corrected herself, “yes Mommy!” 

“You wanna be a good toy for Mommy, you’re gonna come one more time.” Dela swiftly moved her hand between their pressed-together bodies and quickly found Jinkx’s wetness. Jinkx moaned, half in surprise, and her body reacted naturally, jolting and shivering and pushing down onto Dela’s fingers. She had just come, but the dirty talk, knowing the forbiddenness of where they were, and being restrained and hurt even more was more than enough to turn her on again. But most of all, what made Jinkx the hottest was that she knew this wasn’t for her. This, Dela making her come, wasn’t for her enjoyment — it was Dela playing with her, using her, getting her own excitement out of how easy it was to manipulate her body. It was an expression of her total control over the younger girl. Jinkx was completely submitted to her, helpless and restrained, and Dela could play with her body however she wanted. 

Their faces still nearly pressed together, Jinkx fought to keep her eyes open as she moaned out, Dela’s strong fingers working against her wetness with intensity and intelligence. “Mommy…” Jinkx moaned mindlessly. 

“That’s right, I own your little body. I own your orgasms. I can make you come whenever I want.” Dela’s voice was low and breathy and broken, her arousal more than apparent as she fucked her fingers against Jinkx. The hand embedded in Jinkx’s hair pulled her head back even further and Jinkx whined in pain, before the older woman pressed her lips into her neck and started to suck. Jinkx panted loud, open-mouthed breaths as Dela left even more merciless hickeys on her, and she was reminded of her vulnerability, completely bare and restrained, making far too much noise in a public place, body claimed and owned by someone nearly twice her age. She fucked her hips down into Dela’s hand as best she could, loving every moment of the wet friction and desperate to come again, if only to put on the greatest performance for her Mommy and be the best toy to have ever existed. Dela moaned and hummed into Jinkx’s neck as she left purple marks on her skin, and Jinkx shivered, feeling her body kick into the next level of arousal and stimulation. 

The pressure of her cuffed hands pressing into her wrists and stomach, the still-stinging pain on her ass, Dela’s wet mouth on her neck, the sounds she was humming into her skin, and the way her fingers pressed firmly into all of her sweet spots at once, it was so hot, it was already starting to become too much. Jinkx moaned out, mouth hanging open with lust. “Oh god, fuck…”

“Is that right?” Dela cooed into her neck, sweet voice tinged with an edge of poison. “It feels good to be my toy, doesn’t it? To give yourself over to me completely? That is, to be taken and used?” Jinkx moaned out, helplessly fucking down into Dela’s hand, her words only pushing her closer. “Using your little body is so much fun, baby. You’re all desperate and fucked out. You just can’t help yourself, it feels too good. It feels so good to be Mommy’s toy.” 

“It feels so good…” Jinkx echoed breathily. 

Dela hummed and moaned as she sucked hard on Jinkx’s skin. “My good little girl, moaning while I use her little hole.” 

Jinkx shuddered and moaned out. That’s what she was — a hole to be used and to play with. Through shaky breaths, Jinkx managed, “All for Mommy.” 

“That’s right princess, your good little girl body is all for Mommy. Mine, mine, mine.” Dela pressed her fingers into Jinkx, hitting all the right places, making her shudder, moan, convulse and curse and cry. Their power dynamic was shared in their eye contact -- Jinkx looking at her with desperation, with helplessness, with need behind her eyes that also shared the foggy-minded dullness of being so fucked out. Dela’s face, in contrast, was alight and aflame, eyes sharp with determination even as her mouth hung open with lust. Dela hummed, and launched back into a monologue of dirty talk again, knowing exactly what would make Jinkx desperate, what would push her closer, and what she herself would enjoy. “Look at you getting fucked on this dirty mattress like a desperate little whore. Fucking in public cause you need Mommy that bad, cause you like being a naughty girl and breaking all the rules. You want everyone to know how good Mommy fucks you? Well they will, when you show up all covered in bruises, voice hoarse, looking all blissed out because Mommy made you come so good. You think they can hear you through the walls now? Hear how much of a whiny little slutty child you are? Hear just how fucking desperate you are for me? So fucking desperate for Mommy to use your little body. I can’t believe what a desperate little pain slut I’ve turned you into, so quickly. A good little princess into a pathetic whore for me.” Jinkx looked at her, pathetically desperate, and cried out as she bucked her hips helplessly onto Dela’s fingers. Every one of those words sent a shot of hot flame through her body, muddling her mind and making her only more needy. Dela knew exactly how to push all of her buttons, how to talk to her to make her dissolve into empty, desperate submission, and Jinkx loved it. She loved all of it. 

Just then, face in a flaming smirk, Dela moved from Jinkx’s neck to suck Jinkx’s tongue into her mouth. Something about this set Jinkx fully on fire, turned her on to an extent she had never felt before. It was that feeling of use that drove her so wild — Mommy sucking on her tongue was claiming her even more, owning her body, using even her mouth for her own pleasure. And the sensation of it, wet and intricate, made all of her nerve endings surge with energy. Jinkx moaned wildly and started to buck her hips harder onto Dela’s fingers, ready to be set over the edge. She reveled in this feeling of exploitation, of warm, wet overstimulation. She shuddered and whined, unable to process, help or manage her arousal, feeling simultaneously cloudy minded and urgent as she was forcibly surrendered. Dela broke her movement of dominance for only the seconds needed to invoke another, leaving Jinkx with her tongue hanging out of her mouth helplessly and dumbly, and commanded “be a good toy and come for Mommy.” She sucked her tongue back into her mouth again. Jinkx moaned, loud and empty-minded, in response, ready to obey Dela’s order. Determined in her desperation, Jinkx started to work her hips harder and faster onto Dela’s fingers. Her hand was strong and steady, pressing into all of her good spots, and Jinkx started to tremble as she fucked harder into her. But her attention was torn between her cunt and tongue, still desperately aflame from Dela’s claiming of her mouth. This deeply intimate act of sharing a passionate kiss had been turned into her mouth being used for the older woman’s pleasure. She was sucking on her tongue not to share a moment of care, but to make the younger girl feel exploited, to demonstrate her dominance over her, to set her over the edge mentally and physically and make her come, a second time, for her own viewing pleasure. Jinkx started to whine, each breath a higher pitch, sharing all of her desperation with Dela, trying to be the best toy she could be. Dela moved her wet lips across her tongue, sucking Jinkx in and out of her mouth to the pace of her whines. Dela pressed her hand against her harder and Jinkx moaned and shuddered, jolting backwards, but Dela was quick to pull her head back down to where it needed to be for her to continue to play with it. This extra demonstration of restraint made Jinkx moan out, remembering just how owned and controlled she was. Her feeling of helplessness escalated to a feeling of forced surrender, of exploitation, of possessive restraint as Dela held her firmly in place, working into her only to make her come for her own entertainment. Jinkx shuddered and shook on top of Dela, the older woman’s fingers pumping inside of her and rubbing against her clit. Even though her tongue was controlled, her mind was doing all the begging and moaning that her mouth couldn’t do: _Mommy, Mommy, Mommy._ She was lost in her submission, both mind and body completely enveloped and controlled by Dela’s dominant power. She struggled to find more friction as she was trapped in place when Dela pressed even harder into her and Jinkx shuddered and bucked down violently. As her body kicked into overdrive, falling victim to her desire, Dela’s voice echoed in her mind, saying all the words she didn’t need to say out loud: _Come on baby, come for Mommy. You’re a good toy aren’t you? Want to be Mommy’s good toy? Then come for me. Come like the desperate slutty babygirl that you are._ Jinkx cried helplessly into Dela’s mouth as her hips spasmed. Dela felt strong, determined, warm and skilled inside of her, and this combined with her surrender of autonomy, her restraint, and the exploitation of her mouth finally put Jinkx over the edge. She could only focus on Dela inside of her and how desperate she was for more, and how excited she was that she was able to do what Mommy said, to be the best toy she could be. Through loud, panting whines, Jinkx’s body convulsed against Dela, hips bucking wildly though her head was held in place by Dela’s steel grip— her scalp strained with every movement of her hips, the distant pain only adding to her dizzying pleasure. Dela moaned and hummed, encouraging her, praising her as she used her body for her own pleasure. Jinkx came hard, fucking desperately on Dela’s fingers, crying out loud enough to make anyone outside able to hear her. Dela let out a low laugh, lips still claiming her tongue, as Jinkx came, clearly getting a sadistic pleasure out of watching Jinkx writhe helplessly and be put over the edge by her selfish use. Dela kept her hand rubbing into Jinkx until the orgasm was fully over, and she slid her hand back from under them, and finally released her tongue. 

Jinkx was dazed and groggy, overstimulated and still coming down from her second orgasm. Her mouth lolled open, not truly registering that she was allowed to close it yet. Dela let go of her hair only to smooth it all back. “Mmm, what a good girl. Did such a good job doing what she’s told, being such a good little toy.” Jinkx just hummed dumbly, brain still feeling like it was filled with cotton. Dela let out another low laugh before sucking her tongue back into her mouth, but this time enveloping her in a true kiss — still one of use, one of ownership, but allowing Jinkx enough autonomy to be able to kiss back. Dela let out even more low groans and sighs and Jinkx felt her body writhe beneath her, clearly having brought herself close by just playing with Jinkx’s body, using her power to manipulate her. The older woman gathered all of Jinkx’s hair in one hand, wrapping it around her fingers securely — it felt like a handle. With this grip, she could bring Jinkx’s face wherever she wanted, and she knew exactly what she wanted. As Dela broke the kiss by pulling her head backwards, Jinkx noticed just how fucked out she looked — her face and chest were a deep red, lips puffy, eyes blown out, shiny black hair strewn and matted. She was an image of sex, an image of need, yet still retaining all of the power and control of dominance. She was magic. Jinkx watched her chest rise and fall in heavy pants, beautiful round breasts jiggling as she did, and Jinkx was overcome with a desire to suck on them; this must have been evident in her eyes, as Dela smirked at her, “You want to suck on Mommy’s tit, baby girl?” 

Jinkx let out a small squeak and cooed, “yes mommy, you’re so sexy, please.” 

Dela pulled her head down to her breast and Jinkx took her nipple in her mouth eagerly. Dela let out a loud shudder and her mouth fell open, lips parted in fundamental need. Jinkx ran her tongue over Dela’s nipple like it was the most important thing she’d ever done, with confidence she’d never had before, and it showed in how Dela reacted — the older woman was letting out sighs, whines and squeaks that she had never heard her make before. Dela shivered and rolled her hips down, and that was when Jinkx realized that at this angle, even though her wrists were still cuffed together in front of her, her hands could easily reach Dela’s needy cunt. Jinkx let out a low moan into Dela’s breast, trying to convey the suspense of her clever idea and pique Dela’s interest, before trying it out, and sure enough, Jinkx pulled her hands up and was able to press her small fingertips into Dela’s wet, aching need. Dela let out a moan of surprise and pleasure before she shivered and her hips bucked down, body acting on its own accord. It was beyond sexy to watch Dela lose the war with her body, dominance fail to her physical need. “Oh, yes baby!” Dela looked down, meeting Jinkx’s eyes, this time Jinkx the one smirking up at her with playful cleverness and Dela looking blown out and desperate. Jinkx loved being the submissive, but this wasn’t anything different — her body was still entirely surrendered to Dela, all of her movements and actions and thoughts and needs were dependent on how Dela wanted them done. This moment of autonomy, this choice she was able to make, was still all for Dela’s sake, was still to be Dela’s favorite toy, was still restrained by her physical limitations — she still had the handcuffs on, for god’s sake. And fuck that was hot. She couldn’t move how she wanted to, couldn’t fuck Dela how she normally would, still bearing the punishment of her bad behavior. And the metal cut into her wrists even more, the sharp pain made distant by her mix of hormones dulling her mind and body. Jinkx pressed her fingers flat against Dela, giving her something to fuck down on, and she did, strong body working her hips hard onto Jinkx’s small hands. Already, she was coated in her wetness, Dela’s desperation unable to be hidden or disguised, evident in all the workings of her body. Jinkx flicked her tongue across Dela’s nipple harder, and Dela let out a high pitched gasp and slammed her hips down onto Jinkx’s hands. But this wasn’t nearly enough for her. Dela let out a low moan and, looking down at Jinkx, said, “Fuck me.” Was it an order or a plea? Jinkx realized the only difference between the two is that an order would happen anyway, just forcefully, if ignored. And even if she had more of a choice, Jinkx wanted to fuck her, wanted to make her come, wanted to watch her fully fall apart at her hand. Jinkx hummed into her breast and slid two fingers inside of her. Dela arched her back and moaned, letting out heavy breaths, and eagerly started to work her hips down onto Jinkx’s fingers. She felt _incredible_ , so soft and so warm and so wet, and Jinkx’s fingers slid in and out of her easily. Dela’s grip tightened on Jinkx’s hair, more to steady herself than to punish her, and Jinkx could tell she was already teasingly close. Jinkx pulled her legs under herself so she could have more leverage with her arms, and tilted her hands up, trying to go between fucking inside of her and pressing against her clitoris, but the handcuffs got in the way. Yet, as Jinkx accidentally pressed the handcuffs into Dela’s clit, the older woman moaned out with a sound Jinkx had never heard her make before — high pitched and dripping with need. _Wow, she really likes that._ Jinkx put more pressure on her, and Dela arched her back, head rolling back into the mattress, as she grinded her clit against the hard metal of the cuffs. It was almost as if she had forgotten she was supposed to be controlling Jinkx, instead of letting herself be fucked like this, but she was so overcome with pleasure that nothing mattered anymore. Dela fucked her hips down into Jinkx’s hand and cuffs hard, steady and determined, breathing out heavy pants and groans, chest slick with sweat from the effort of fucking Jinkx for hours and now being so tauntingly close herself. Jinkx had never heard Dela sound like this, so far gone, more desperate than controlling, higher-pitched moans asking more than demanding. It was intoxicating. She was so turned on from using Jinkx’s body, bruising her and teasing her and making her come, that she had to give her own willpower over in return. Jinkx adjusted the angle of her wrist and Dela cried out again, and suddenly she felt Dela’s hand on her wrist. Was she — she was — Dela had grabbed hold of her cuffed wrists and pressed the metal into her clit. She moaned out wildly as she fucked herself, and Jinkx was determined to match her intensity, to meet her needs, to be the best toy she could be for her. Jinkx sucked harder on Dela’s nipple and pressed her tongue roughly into her skin, and even though Dela was in control of her wrists yet again and fucking into her was awkward, Jinkx managed to push a third finger into her slick wetness, and this was it — “ohh, FUCK!” Dela let out loud, desperate cries and worked her whole body hard against the cuffs, muscles spasming and thighs shaking as she dug the metal into her most sensitive skin. She let out cry after cry, whine after whine as Jinkx tried her best to fuck into her, even though she knew that Dela, with her strong fingers gripping mercilessly into her wrists, was the most in charge of her orgasm. Jinkx felt her spasm around her fingers, felt her body shake beneath her, and felt complete — she had given everything she knew how to her, and it had paid off. Dela panted and moaned as she worked through all the waves of pleasure that they both worked so hard for, that Dela was so desperate to achieve that she showed more surrender than ever before. Jinkx let her work against her, let her use her body to fuck against as she worked her way through all of her orgasm, through all of her need, through all of her pleasure. Finally, though still panting from the exertion, Dela’s hips came to a stop, and all of the tension in her body released. After a beat as her consciousness seeped back into her skin, she uncurled her fingers from Jinkx’s wrist and hair, and Jinkx sat up. 

Though still groggy, mind still cloudy from the intensity of the evening, Jinkx smirked with knowing, taunting pride at Dela. 

Still looking very dazed and flushed, Dela breathed with a smile, “what?”

Jinkx’s fingers found the latch of the handcuffs and she slid them off, tossing them to the end of the bed before scooting up to lie next to Dela. She grinned at her teasingly. “You’re a bit of a masochist!” She sang. 

Dela smiled wider in response, and just grabbed Jinkx and pulled her into her. “Shut up.” 

“Masochist, masochist, masochist!” Jinkx giggled, and Dela clapped a hand over her mouth. Jinkx writhed around to try and get out of it, before it occurred to her to lick her palm, and the surprise of it made Dela pull her hand away. 

“And you’re still a brat,” Dela replied, wiping the spit off on Jinkx’s side. Jinkx found it amusing how somehow spit was gross now, even though they’d been all up in each others genitals for the last couple hours. 

Jinkx didn’t protest the label, feeling like by now she had truly earned it. Instead, she snuggled deeper into Dela’s side. Neither of them truly had the energy or desire to taunt each other further, and the two women fell silent, allowing themselves to be exhausted and lean into one another, finding safety in the bodies and minds of each other. Dela was sticky with sweat, and Jinkx felt proud — this sweat was for her, for them, not for any impersonal audience. It existed because they were fortunate enough to have found each other. It existed because of their determination, their strength and their shared secret rebelliousness. It existed because she was good enough in bed to make Dela shake, cry, come. She was so proud, and so content, and she grinned into Dela’s chest before being overcome with a wave of gratefulness. Jinkx started to attack Dela with kisses, pressing them all over her chest. 

Dela giggled, amused by Jinkx’s sudden display of love. “What are you doing?” 

Jinkx giggled back and continued her kiss barrage, kissing up her neck and to her face. She kissed across her jaw, her flushed cheeks, her nose, her forehead, before coming to plant a big, excited kiss on her lips. When she was satisfied, she pushed back and looked at Dela triumphantly. “Kissing you!” Her heart swelled at the way Dela was looking at her. She looked so open, so generous, so happy and so free. She was grinning as wide and as stupidly as Jinkx was, and they longer they looked at each other, the wider they smiled. Jinkx launched herself back on top of her, pressing her body into hers, and Dela wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tight. Jinkx squealed as she was squeezed, feeling overwhelmingly loved and safe, cared for and protected. Dela stopped squeezing her, but didn’t let her go, and the two women stayed pressed together in loving, intimate embrace. Jinkx let out a happy giggle before a contented sigh and snuggled into her, pressing her face into her chest. 

Dela started to pet her hair, soft and sweet, fingertips comforting on her scalp. “I’m so happy I have you.” Her voice was tender, and Jinkx’s heart swelled so much she thought it might burst. This was the first hint of commitment coming from Dela, this idea that she ‘had’ her. 

Jinkx sat up to look up at Dela. “Of course you have me. I don’t want to be had by anyone else.” She bit her lip and smiled as she said it. For once, there was no insecurity in these words. She wasn’t afraid of the feelings or of their consequences. It was just the truth. Dela smiled back at her, and gently encouraged her to bring her face down to hers, and they sealed this moment with a kiss, excitement and optimism building in their bones. It had been a long evening, full of rebellion and pain and pleading, full of powerplay and defiance and desperation, but there was never any doubt that it would end like this, wrapped up in the love and care of one another. All was safe and good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope some of y'all are still here even though this took forever to update. I appreciate you!  
> And I would truly appreciate comments or kudos, so that I know my hard work is being seen. 
> 
> I'm not sure what's coming next. I kind of want them to just like, go to the zoo or get ice cream or something. Do something romantic and not sexual, because I've been writing nothing but smut for 2 months, and because I miss the feelings that the first few chapters gave me. Though I guess knowing them, they'll probably start fucking anywhere. Hmm.  
> Speaking of which - Sugar Mama part II really is almost finished. I'm not sure if I'm going to post it though, because it's... a lot. Like, if you thought part one was a lot... it just gets worse.  
> So, we will see about all of this. Not to mention that my life is continually busier. Whatever happens, I appreciate you all, and seriously, thank you SO much for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time trying to post on mobile, so bear with me if things look weird, lol. 
> 
> This isn’t quite the romantic date y’all were requesting, but it’s a very important chapter and I loved writing it. I think you’ll really enjoy this one, and I’m so excited to share it with you all! <3

The longer they laid there, on this stained mattress in the back room of the burlesque club, the more it started to sink in where they were, what they had done, and what they had to do next. 

Jinkx nuzzled her face into Dela’s chest, blocking out all of the dim yellowish light that lit up the room. She let out a small whiny groan. “I don’t wanna get up.” 

“I don’t either.” Dela continued to play with the ends of her red hair, rolling them between her fingers, watching them fall onto her bare back. “Why don’t we just stay here. Make this our new home. Every time someone comes in we just hide under the bed. Foolproof.” 

Jinkx giggled. “Won’t we starve?” 

Jinkx could feel Dela’s smirk without having to even see her face. “We can just eat each other.” 

She knew that Dela meant sexually, but refused to play along -- “I guess we probably would taste pretty okay. We’re mostly sugar and alcohol.” 

Dela laughed at this, and Jinkx loved the way her chest convulsed, bringing Jinkx up and down with it. “Mmm, nutritious.” 

The younger girl giggled along, then scooted up a little, placing her hands on Dela’s chest and then her chin on top so she could look up at her. To a bystander, she would look a little rough, but to Jinkx, she looked perfect; Dela’s black hair was everywhere, knotted and matted in parts; her lipstick was smeared all over her face and her neck and chest were marked with Jinkx’s lighter red; her fake lashes were long gone, and a glittery black smudge had replaced her previously perfected sharp liner. She was everything Jinkx could have asked for in a woman, and she knew that she must look far worse, her face being pressed into the mattress and hair used as a handle among so many other things. “How long do you think we’ve been in here?” 

Dela giggled again, light and calm, amused by their absurdity. “I don’t know. At least a couple hours.” She pulled a strand of Jinkx’s hair across her face, giving her a temporary mustache, and Jinkx shook it off. “The music stopped a long time ago.” 

She was right -- Jinkx hadn’t even noticed how quiet it was outside, she had been so wrapped up in everything Dela. Jinkx chewed on the inside of her cheek, resenting that the anxieties of the real world were seeping back into her soul. “Do you think people are still out there?” 

“Hmm.” Dela looked at her understandingly. The idea of being overheard by the whole world was dizzyingly arousing while they were fucking, but after the fact, became a bit more than slightly concerning. “Chad is probably still here,” Dela answered honestly. 

“Fuck,” Jinkx sighed, burying her face back into Dela. Anxiety fluttered in her stomach again. They had broken their only rule, and not even subtly or vaguely -- they really, really broke it. Shattered it. “Maybe we should just stay here.” 

“It’ll be fine.” Dela pet at her hair again. She sounded like she was really trying to believe that herself. 

“Are you sure?” Jinkx looked back up at her to try and see what her green eyes were telling her. 

Dela shrugged lightly, then sighed. “Mostly. The worst that could happen is we both get fired,” Jinkx’s heart rose to her throat, “but I seriously doubt that would happen.” It settled again, but just barely. Jinkx rolled her eyes and put her head back down, not hostile, just frustrated. “Hey.” Dela poked her, and Jinkx dragged her head back up to look at Dela poutily. “It’ll be fine, really.” 

“Hmmm, I hope so.” Jinkx sighed, before a smile crept onto her face again. “Even if we do… it was worth it.” 

Dela smiled back and tousled Jinkx’s hair. “You think so?” 

“Yeah.” Jinkx scooted up so her face was over Dela’s. She gazed down at her, knowing her eyes were sharing more than her words were, but thankful for that power more than afraid of it. “You are so amazing. -- Not only because you are so good in bed, you know exactly how to fuck me and what I need,” Dela’s smile grew at this, in spite of herself, “but I know you’ll keep me safe. I’m not afraid of you. It’s so good because I’m able to give myself over to you and know you’ll take care of me.” 

“Of course I will.” Dela smoothed her hand across Jinkx’s skin, cupping her jaw. “I am so happy that you feel safe around me. That’s all I could ask for.” She slid her fingertips up and down Jinkx’s small arm caringly. “I need to make sure my girl is taken care of.” 

Jinkx couldn’t help but beam. _My girl. I’m her girl!_ Not having any words that could express her feelings better, Jinkx pressed an excited, passionate kiss into Dela’s lips, trying to convey all of her giddyness and thankfulness in one gesture. Dela giggled a little and wrapped her arms around Jinkx, squeezing her close as they kissed. This kiss of love, gratefulness, and excitement was in such contrast to the kisses of use from earlier, but there was no confusion as to which was the truest, which was the feeling to hold on to. Jinkx continued to kiss her, smiling through every one, delighting at how the feeling of her soft lips warmed her soul. She felt not only comfortable, but like she had found someone she could start to make a home out of. It was the most profound contentment imaginable. Withdrawing from the kiss, Jinkx pressed her forehead into Dela’s, noses also touching as they rested on one another. This was the first time they had been quite this romantic with each other, and Jinkx was thrilled. Sure it was caused in part by their post-orgasm hormones, but more profoundly it was caused by Dela’s conversation with Chad all those hours ago, unlocking a new level of intimacy and availability from Dela, and in turn allowing Jinkx to reach that as well. The energy flow between them was open and honest and free, and she knew they could both feel it. But, Chad. God she was anxious about the possible consequences of what they’d done. Jinkx felt herself start to tense up, and knew Dela could feel it in her as well. 

Jinkx sat up, straddling Dela casually, and ran a hand through her red hair. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble because of my selfishness.” 

“This didn’t happen because you were selfish,” Dela reassured, running her fingertips up and down Jinkx’s thighs. “A little rebellious, maybe, but so was I.” She smiled up at her, a knowing, charming glint in her eye. “Don’t beat yourself up, okay? We made these decisions together, and,” she sat up, wrapping her arms around Jinkx, “everything is going to be just fine.” 

Humming, still anxious but not wanting to be, Jinkx nestled herself back into Dela. “If you say so.” 

“I do say so.” They were both relying on Dela’s false confidence, and held onto the veil of safety. 

Jinkx buried herself farther into Dela and started to laugh at herself. “I don’t wanna go out there!” 

“I know, but we should go home.” Dela’s voice was warm and sweet in her ear, and Jinkx felt a little more soothed each time she spoke. 

When she put it that way, home did sound really nice. She sighed and sat back up and put her hands on Dela’s shoulders declaratively. “Okay. You’re right. We can do this.” 

Dela smiled at her, amused by how she needed to talk herself up, but also thankful for that energy boost herself. “We can do this,” she echoed, and Jinkx slid off of her, not wanting to have to think about this any more. She dangled over the side of the wire frame bed, just barely able to reach far enough to pick all of her costume pieces off the ground. As she leaned over, she heard Dela blow out an overexaggerated breath and laugh a bit, then click her tongue. 

“What?” Jinkx asked as she came to sit back up again, red hair flying back dramatically. Dela was smirking wildly, but privately, not looking at her as she put her own costume back on. “What?” Jinkx pressed, clasping the silver bra around herself. 

“You’re really bruised up,” Dela finally responded. It had been a smirk of pride. 

“Really?” Jinkx’s voice somehow conveyed both the excitement and anxiety that came from that reality. She tossed her body around and tried to turn and look, jaw falling open when she finally saw her ass, even at this restricted view. “Oh my god…” She quickly broke into a laugh. She smoothed her fingers over herself, running her hands over where she had been beaten. Looking up with a shocked and amused look on her face, she found Dela looking exaggeratedly haughty and expectant. “What?” Dela kept the expression, and Jinkx caught on just quick enough — her lips curled into a coy smile and she demonstratively slid her hands over her ass. “Thank you for all my pretty bruises, Mommy. It’s all I could’ve asked for.” 

Dela’s smirk grew greatly more appreciative and delighted. “You’re welcome princess.” The character dissolved again, and they went back to dressing. 

With all their pieces put mostly back together, matted hair combed through with clumsy and overworked fingers, and small gold key retrieved from its terror-inducing involuntary hiding place under a cardboard box covered in an Indiana Jones-worthy layer of dust, Jinkx and Dela were finally prepared to re-enter the world outside their closet. It felt more significant than either of them had anticipated; they had entered this room in secret, sneaking away to be together, to be rebellious. But once inside, they reclaimed their outside space, expressing their deep understanding of trust in each other through cries of passion loud enough to be heard beyond their walls. Jinkx wrapped both of her arms around Dela’s left arm and pressed her body into her there as they maneuvered through the prop room, her clutch conveying the loving codependence they were beginning to create while still acknowledging all the choice and autonomy evident in their decision to coexist. Dela reached up and unlocked the door, strong fingers taking the lead comfortably, going out of her way to provide labors of love while Jinkx gazed on with calm appreciation. Not taking any more time to hesitate with fear of what lay on the other side, Dela turned the handle, and the light of the outside hallway began to seep in. They entered here this evening separate, forbidden and secret; they were leaving here openly, proudly together in a space they had claimed for themselves. Jinkx flicked the light switch off, dim yellow bulb thankful for its relief of duty. Dela closed and locked the thick black door behind them. It was time for what was next. 

Leaning on Dela as the older woman naturally took the lead, Jinkx noticed just how silent the building was. She was struck by how loud their heels seemed on the floor — she didn’t think she had ever heard them echo quite so much. It gave her a little bit of hope; maybe they were alone here and could slip away without any consequences. But as they rounded the corner, she saw that all the mirror lights were all still on. Chad hadn’t gone home yet. A sickening wave of anxiety coursed through her body, and she felt her palms grow clammy against Dela’s arm, felt her throat close up in fear. But Jinkx let Dela’s words roll through her mind, tried to squeeze every last drop of comfort out of them: _everything is going to be just fine._

They walked through the large, full-yet-empty room in a silence that stemmed from a shared desire to leave as quickly and painlessly as possible. When they reached Dela’s mirror station, Jinkx unwrapped herself from her arm, ready to go back to hers, when she caught the first glimpse of her body in the mirror. She let out a quiet gasp, jaw dropped open, as she saw just what Dela had done to her body. “Oh my god…” She was painted with purples, reds and pinks from nearly her earlobes to her nipples, lipstick smearing into bruises sharing space with other overheated overstimulated skin. Somehow, though, they were as tasteful as a chest full of hickeys could be; it was clear that these were the remains of an act of true thoughtful ownership and dominance, rather than a juvenile experiment or trashy expression of sloppiness. No, Jinkx loved this. It lit her up inside to know that everyone, from show audiences to grocery store cashiers would know that she belonged to someone who fucked her right. Jinkx leaned in over Dela’s station to get closer to the mirror while the older woman looked on with an amused and proud smile. 

“Are you satisfied?” Dela purred. 

Jinkx giggled as she turned and stretched her neck in front of the mirror, looking at her painted skin from all angles. “It’s exactly what I asked for.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and gave Dela a flashing smile. “Thank you Mommy.” 

Dela smiled wider at Jinkx’s performance and stepped in closer, pulling Jinkx’s small body into her by her hips. “Just for you, princess. Labors of love.” 

From here, with the white light of the mirror lightbulbs shining brightly beside them, Jinkx had an intimate view of Dela’s face, every detail shining vividly, sharing themselves with her and her alone. She allowed her eyes to linger on Dela’s, suddenly seeing all the stringy vibrant colors intertwined making up her signature green. She felt herself fall into them, be carried away by their story of perseverance, compassion and safety. What a strange situation to feel so damn gooey and romantic in, beat up fugitives as they were, but Jinkx was fully lost in her emotions and the older woman’s embrace. Twisting flirtily in Dela’s hands, Jinkx cocked her head to the side and bit her lip. 

“Yes?” Dela laughed, herself sucking her own lip in, perhaps subconsciously, maybe kicking herself for it. 

“What?” Jinkx teased. 

“You’re looking at me like you want something.” 

Jinkx rolled her eyes playfully and twirled out of her arms. She giggled, until she was a few feet away and stopped. “Wait, I changed my mind. You’re too far away now.” She shuffled back over and wrapped her arms back around Dela. “Okay I fixed it.” 

Dela laughed and kissed her forehead, this time it was her turn to roll her eyes. “Such a strange little girl.” After allowing her to hang on to her for a while longer, Dela tapped Jinkx’s ass lightly. “You gotta let me go so we can get out of here.” 

Jinkx huffed and pulled away. “I know. I just don’t want to have to be any farther away from you.” 

“I know baby,” she sympathized. 

Pulling herself together like the mature adult she claimed she wanted to be, Jinkx shuffled over to her station and started to throw the few things she needed into her bag, and swiftly changed out of her costume and into her clothing that was actually suitable to be worn outside. As she went back over to Dela who was using a makeup wipe to clean her face (Jinkx couldn’t care less about her own right now), Jinkx briefly wondered if they could get away with a quickie out here in the open, but brushed the idea off as she remembered just how exhausted they both were. As exciting as the idea was, she didn’t think she could take another go. Maybe another time.

When Dela saw her out of the corner of her eye as she watched herself in the mirror, she laughed lightly and asked, “Are you just going to stay like that?” Jinkx had lipstick smeared all across the lower half of her face, glitter everywhere, eyeliner either smudged or disappeared entirely. Jinkx opened her mouth to reply, but didn’t have time to find some clever remark before Dela pulled a fresh makeup wipe and turned toward her. “Come here.” Her free hand guided her chin upwards with the most gentle touch, fingertips barely pressing against her skin, holding her like she was the most fragile and precious thing she had ever touched. Dela smoothed the makeup wipe against Jinkx’s skin almost as gently, methodically cleansing every inch of her face. She was much more controlled and gentle with her than Jinkx was with herself — she was used to scraping the thing across her face and being done as quick as possible, leaving forgotten-about smudges everywhere. She felt a tingle of warmth in her chest. She was being taken care of. “There.” Dela pulled away, satisfied with her work, and booped her on her nose. 

Jinkx bit her lip through a wide smile. “Thank you.” 

“Mm-hmm,” she replied calmly. “I think I’m ready to go, are you?” Dela asked, shuffling the last of her things around. 

“Turn off the lights on your way out, would ya?” It was Chad’s voice. The two women whirled around to find the club owner walking towards them, manner unreadable, voice tinged with frustration but not overtly angry — if the anger was there, it was hidden by a thick layer of booze. “And while you’re at it, give me your fuckin’ key.” She stopped in front of them, holding her hand out expectantly, but facing only Dela; the dynamic made Jinkx almost feel like a child again, irrelevantly standing and witnessing a conversation between her mom and mom’s friend. 

“To the front door?!” Dela looked panicked, and Jinkx took it that Dela thought Chad meant turning over her key and leaving for good. Jinkx tried to pretend not to notice the seemingly vast space between the two of them — she wasn’t holding her or protecting her in any kind of solidarity. She wanted to reach out and hold on to her, find safety in her, but there was no energy coming from Dela that hinted she would provide any. Jinkx tried to distract herself and shift her emotions to being overly surprised that she even had a key to the front door in the first place. 

“No, to the prop room, you whore. I may be old but I’m not deaf, and neither is anybody else. The whole club could hear you two. What the fuck were you thinking?” Thankfully, Chad wasn’t giving them any time to truly have to struggle to explain themselves. “What the hell even was that? You know — I don’t want to know. Goddamn incestuous lesbian sex cult. I swear to god.” Jinkx was relieved that Chad was more disappointed than upset, and selfishly relieved that she seemed to be getting off easy, literally. 

Chewing on her inner cheek as Chad chewed her out, Dela shuffled through her bag and pulled out her keys and slid the small gold key off its ring. She placed it in Chad’s palm, and the oldest woman closed her fingers around it.

Continuing her disappointed, drunken barrage, Chad continued, waving the key around sloppily. “I don’t know what to even say to you. You’ve never acted this fucking stupid, even when you were still fucking the last one.” A white cold dagger shot through Jinkx’s chest. The last one? Was this a common thing for Dela? Was she not as special as she thought she was? Jinkx felt her hands grow clammy. No, no, no. This wasn’t allowed to be like this. 

“Don’t talk about her like that.” Dela shot back. Jinkx desperately wanted to believe the ‘her’ in that sentence meant herself, but with no body language or any kind of signal or connection from Dela, Jinkx’s stomach just continued to plummet. Whoever she was, she must have been special to her. 

Chad ignored, or perhaps didn’t even hear, Dela’s response. “You’re lucky I love you, damn it. Fucking lucky.” Chad shook her head, before turning to Jinkx, causing a spike of panic to ring through her bones. “And you — _Jesus._ ” She gestured to her neck and chest, shocked at the bruises left there. “Are you fucking serious? Really?” She looked between the two of them, and they both stood frozen still in panic and shame. Chad pressed her palm to her forehead and waved Jinkx away. “Go home. Don’t come back until those bruises are gone, and you’d better hope your stand-in isn’t better than you.” Chad then quickly turned to leave. 

Jinkx felt sick. Her body was simultaneously too cold and too hot, her stomach turned and she stopped breathing. She wasn’t fired, but this was only a shade away. Though her and Chad had a much more professional and distant relationship than the one between Chad and Dela, she had always shared her sentiment of seeing this troupe as a small home, of seeing Chad as someone who had taken her in and helped her build a new life for herself as she fled all the things she was trying to move past in her old life, cities away. It felt terrible to disappoint Chad, but the idea of not being as special to Dela as she thought she was clung heavier to her, pulling her stomach down and cementing her feet to the ground. What if Dela went through women — what if she went through new girls in the troupe like her, making them feel special and important and worthy, when really she was just using them to throw them away? What if she took them back in the prop room just like she had done with Jinkx? But her despair quickly switched into a fiery anger, not at Dela, but at herself. How could she have allowed herself to be so stupid, trusting Dela so quickly, thinking she was worth anything, giving over so much of herself. How could she have allowed herself to trust someone she barely knew so deeply? Jinkx felt herself start to shake, and violently swallowed the lump in her throat. She felt herself going off the deep end, diving into irrationality and emotional overload, but she was too far in, she didn’t care. _Let the water swallow me. ___

__“Hey, I don’t think that’s very fair—“ Dela tried to mediate, calling after Chad. “We can put makeup over it, no one will be able to tell.” She turned to Jinkx. “Right?” Jinkx had her jaw clenched and was staring straight ahead, silent, not looking at her._ _

__“Whatever,” Chad said with a sloppy wave, not looking back. “Convince me another time.” And with that, she closed her office door behind her, the thud and click of it echoing through the room, leaving Jinkx and Dela back in a private empty stillness._ _

__“Jinkx,” Dela began, voice cautious. She reached a hand out to touch her, but her drive to run away from this gesture kickstarted Jinkx’s ability to move again, and the younger girl whirled out of the way and headed for the door._ _

__“No.”_ _

__Dela scurried after her, shoes clicking against the cement ground and keys jangling in her purse. “Jinkx, it’s okay! We can put makeup over it, I know how. It’s not my first time having to do that—“_ _

__Jinkx audibly scoffed and finally stopped, turning to face her. “I’m sure it’s not.” Dela stopped a few inches behind her, surprised showing on her face. “You do this all the time, don’t you. Take the new girl back there, make her feel special when she’s not, because it makes you feel important.” As that last dig left her lips, Jinkx realized just how wrong it felt to treat her that way. Her claims were unfounded, driven by her insecurity and immaturity. But it was too late now, the deed was done, she’d taken her irrational fears out on someone she cared about and would have to deal with these consequences now, too._ _

__Dela stood silently, surprised at and saddened by Jinkx’s words, taking a moment to figure out what to say. “No, I don’t ‘do this all the time,’” Dela replied, voice coated with an artificially applied layer of calm. “I’ve never taken anyone back there, and I’ve never slept with anyone I worked with.” Her voice started to tinge with frustration, overwhelmed by everything that has just happened, but she tried to keep it controlled. A moment of bitterness squeaked out, “Before you I hadn’t had sex in 3 years. Is that enough proof for you?”_ _

__Jinkx chewed on her lip. She believed her and felt painfully guilty, but she was still more hung up on Chad’s words than she wanted to be. “The way Chad said it—“_ _

__“Was not okay,” Dela finished for her, trying to reclaim her truth._ _

__“Who was she talking about, then?” Jinkx’s voice was small. She wasn’t proud to be asking this question and to be insecure enough that she needed to know._ _

__Dela paused, looking reluctant. But as she watched the younger girl look pitiful and ashamed, she mentally laid down her trauma and sighed, setting her bag on the ground before coming over closer to Jinkx. She lightly pulled on her shoulder and guided the two of them to lean their backs against the hallway wall. “I dated someone for 6 years — a woman, actually my first time dating a woman. So I guess she was ‘the last one,’ but I can’t believe Chad would call her that, knowing how much she meant to me.” A surge of jealousy bubbled in Jinkx’s throat, and she swallowed to keep it down. “Because it wasn’t just a sexual relationship. She was important to me. She helped me get over all my internalized homophobia and accept my sexuality… as cheesy as it sounds, she really helped me find myself.” Dela picked at her fingernails. Something felt so off about her. When she had told her about her divorce, she had seemed calm and collected, but here she seemed shut down and upset. It didn’t sit well with Jinkx to know she was emotional over someone else, but then she felt guilty for feeling that, too. “Though, looking back, it wasn’t the healthiest relationship, but I’m still thankful that I had her.” She smiled weakly at Jinkx. “She was one of the first proudly lesbian people I’d ever met, and it blew my mind. Sound familiar?”_ _

__Jinkx sucked in her lip, not returning the smile, just nodding meekly, still hurt and guarding herself with skepticism. “When did you break up?”_ _

__“A little over three years ago,” Dela replied simply. Oh. She hadn’t had sex since this last girl, either. Maybe Jinkx was more important to her than she realized. If this was true, this only made her feel more guilty for throwing such nasty accusations at her, but she still hung on to her fears._ _

__Despite knowing all of this, Jinkx’s couldn’t shake the way Dela reacted to Chad’s comment — _don’t talk about her like that. _Jinkx felt the heavy lump in her chest stir with sadness. She didn’t want to ask this question, but she knew she had to, or else the not knowing would weigh on her constantly. Looking at the floor, Jinkx said, voice small, “You’re still in love with her, aren’t you.” She somehow felt worse after she said it. It felt stupid to say — they still weren’t dating, were still drastically different ages, had barely lay claim to each other a few hours ago, and yet here they were, both torn up over this for different reasons.___ _

____“No, it’s not that.” Despite Jinkx’s own eager defense mechanisms, she could tell that she was being honest, and allowed herself to calm down a little bit. “I just…” She continued picking at her nails. Jinkx had never seen her do that before. “It left me with a lot of scars. Our breakup was messy, and even though I’m over her, I’m not… I’m not sure if I’m over some of the things she said to me.” Jinkx could feel the sadness and guilt radiating from the older woman, and Jinkx let out a little sigh, waving her white flag and setting down her defence mechanisms in exchange for taking care of the woman she cared about. She took Dela’s hand and pulled it away so she could no longer pick at her nails and pressed a sweet kiss into it. She knew Dela would have done the same for her. Dela watched her, though her face didn’t change, still a window to all of the sadness and guilt she was still wrapped up in. “And I hate that Chad is trying to draw parallels between you and her, because it’s so different, you aren’t the same at all.” Jinkx wondered if she believed this, or if she was saying it aloud to try and convince herself. “Neither of you are just people I’m fucking.” She came back to the surface, talking to her instead of to herself again. “And it wasn’t okay for Chad to talk about either of you as if you were.” She squeezed her hand and met her eyes. “I promise, okay?”_ _ _ _

____Jinkx nodded and squeezed back. “I believe you.” She kept chewing on her lip, though, still feeling bad about how she had acted. “I’m sorry I said that to you. I don’t think I really believed it, I was just scared.”_ _ _ _

____“I understand,” Dela replied, some sadness still hanging in her careful voice. She sighed and looked away, chewing on her cheek again, thinking something over nervously. “I just think that…” she spoke carefully, “I just wonder if… I guess I want to say that being 15 years older than you means having 15 more years of experience, including sexual and relationship experience, but that doesn’t make you any less important to me. I just need you to be able to believe that.”_ _ _ _

____Her words hit Jinkx harder than they were intended to. She felt so guilty and ashamed of being so jealous and of spiraling so hard and so quick, and this was ready to set her on a new spiral of shame and fear. But Jinkx held her ground this time, clutching to her sanity and maturity, reminding herself of Dela’s good intentions. “Yeah. I know. I’m sorry.” That wasn’t good enough. “I guess it’s just easy for me to expect that I’m being used or played, because that’s all I’ve really known. But that’s not an excuse. I have to move past it. And I’m learning how, with you.” She turned and brought herself closer into Dela, snuggling gently into her arm again. “I just like you so much, and that makes me so scared of everything that could go wrong. But,” she straightened and looked up at Dela, “I’m deciding right now that I’m not going to be jealous anymore. No more jealousy. I trust you completely. I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _

____Dela met her eyes, a small smile growing on her face, enchanted by the sweetness of the younger girl. “Don’t be sorry.” She reached around and pulled her into her. “Trauma has built defense mechanisms in both of us, and it isn’t either of our faults.” She leaned down and kissed Jinkx on the head, eliciting a small happy coo from her, and they both smiled wider. “Re-learning trust takes practice.”_ _ _ _

____“I trust you,” Jinkx said, without hesitation, before burying her face in Dela’s chest and squeezing her arms tight around her, again finding comfort in her softness. “I trust you.”_ _ _ _

____It took Dela a while longer to reply, breaths coming slow through her lungs. Jinkx still felt a lingering vibration of anxiety in the way the other woman held her, but she didn’t allow herself to get anxious about this, instead holding on to Dela’s words — _trust takes practice._ And Jinkx didn’t want her to say it if she didn’t mean it. It made sense for her to be afraid of Jinkx treating her like the other woman had when she’s still healing from those wounds. But soon, Jinkx felt Dela’s shoulders loosen, she let out a long sigh, her arms squeezed Jinkx tighter into her, and Jinkx knew she had allowed herself the vulnerability of making this same decision that Jinkx had. As Dela’s body opened for her, so did her energy, that guarded and restrained fearful blockage dissolving to allow the brightest golden light to pass between them. “I trust you.” _ _ _ _

____Jinkx smiled and nuzzled even further into her. And they stayed like this, holding one another, feeling the warmth of each others bodies and the light of each others open energies. They were allowing themselves a level of vulnerability they hadn’t ever reached, Jinkx having learned from Roxy that all care was impermanence and deception and Dela having learned from Adore that not all care invested is safely returned. Jinkx leaned into her, listening to her heartbeat, rising and falling with their synchronized breathing, until she caught herself starting to doze off. She pulled her face off Dela’s chest and looked up at her._ _ _ _

____She must have looked as tired as she felt, because Dela giggled, “Are you sleepy?”_ _ _ _

____“Mm-hmm.” Jinkx replied with a sleepy smile._ _ _ _

____“Me too. Let’s go home.” Dela patted her arm encouragingly and Jinkx let out small sleepy squeaks as they unwrapped themselves from each other. Dela stepped away only long enough to retrieve her bag from the ground and shut off the lights before coming back to Jinkx, and they re-entangled themselves for the short walk outside. Jinkx sighed contently and leaned her head on Dela’s shoulders. This was everything she could have asked for, this feeling of true trust and calm. She wasn’t even phased by Chad’s threat anymore. She knew Dela would help her through it all. If she had Dela, everything would be fine, no matter what trials crossed her path._ _ _ _

____“Which one is your car?” Dela asked when they stepped outside. The air was humid and cooler than it normally was. It was weird how little they still knew about each other, but Jinkx was excited to start integrating each other into their lives._ _ _ _

____“The turquoise one,” Jinkx pointed, and Dela changed course._ _ _ _

____“Of course it is.”_ _ _ _

____“Of course it is!” Jinkx giggled. She fished her keys out of her bag and unlocked her car, throwing her things in the backseat without ever unwrapping herself from Dela. She leaned her back against the door and pulled the older woman into her, Dela setting her bag on the roof of her small car before bringing her hands back to Jinkx’s body._ _ _ _

____Smoothing her red hair back, Dela purred, voice soft and sweet, “my beautiful princess.” They could barely see each other in this dark parking lot, the only light source a streetlamp that was at least 20 feet away. But in a way, Dela was still shining in this darkness. The yellow light gave her a golden glow, glinting off of her dark hair and eyes. It was such a privilege to be able to look at her like this, and Jinkx allowed a feeling of gratefulness to wash over her. This intimate privilege was reserved for her alone._ _ _ _

____Jinkx grinned wide, before shrugging playfully. “Yeah. That’s me.” They both giggled, Dela shaking her head, before Jinkx grabbed her by the face and pulled her into a single excited, giving kiss. She pressed her forehead into Dela’s. “All yours.”_ _ _ _

____“All mine.” Dela pinched at Jinkx’s side and the younger girl squealed and writhed around. “That tickle?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes!!” Jinkx pouted, laughing. “Meanie.”_ _ _ _

____“That shouldn’t be a surprise.” Her eyes glinted, feeling clever._ _ _ _

____Jinkx rolled her eyes, but gave her body back to Dela, as she always would. Teasing and claiming, Jinkx wrapped her leg around Dela’s hip, and she smiled, bringing a strong hand to rest on Jinkx’s pale thigh. Jinkx giggled before guiding Dela’s face back into hers, pressing their soft lips together again. She hummed a contented sigh into Dela’s mouth and smiled, an unfamiliar but more than welcome warmth spreading through her entire body. Was this what it meant to feel safe with someone? To know that you trust and are trusted, you care and are cared for? To be absolutely certain that it is mutual, stable and okay? Jinkx pulled Dela into her eagerly, deepening the kiss, only knowing how to share this warmth in this way. She needed to tell Dela how profoundly safe she felt, and this was so much clearer than English could ever be. Dela returned the kiss just as passionately and she knew that she was feeling just the same. She pressed her body against Jinkx, squishing her more against the car, and Jinkx pressed back, their touching centers transferring that energy of connection. The contentment and warmth enveloped them both, and nothing else even bothered to cross their minds. This was all they needed._ _ _ _

____Slowly but surely, their personal energies started to fade, exhaustion from a long night of physical exertion on- and off-stage seeping in. The kiss faded out until they were just leaning on each other in silence, eyes still closed, before Dela finally spoke. “I’m afraid if I stay here any longer I’ll fall asleep standing up.”_ _ _ _

____Jinkx let out a sleepy giggle and scritched her fingers against the back of Dela’s neck. “Me too.” She felt Dela start to pull away and she unwrapped her leg from around the other woman’s, able to feel every muscle in her hip and thigh groan. Maybe having a day off wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Jinkx sighed and ran her hands through her hair, fingers catching on far too many knots, and she stretched lightly, getting reacquainted with her body and the rest of reality outside of Dela. It was incredible how much she drew her in, and she truly felt as if she was waking up into a different world every time she was removed from her presence._ _ _ _

____“Will I see you tomorrow?” Dela asked, fingers laying gently on her arm. She knew what she was really asking, but she didn’t want to process any of that yet. Jinkx needed to hold on to the lingering warmth of Dela for long enough to get home and go to sleep, and she could resume her catastrophizing in the morning._ _ _ _

____Jinkx grunted and laughed pathetically. “I don’t know. I’ll let you know when I do.”_ _ _ _

____“I can come over and help you put makeup over it,” the black-haired woman offered._ _ _ _

____“I don’t really wanna think about it right now,” Jinkx said honestly, and Dela nodded._ _ _ _

____“Okay. Just let me know if I can help.”_ _ _ _

____Jinkx smiled. “Of course Mommy.”_ _ _ _

____The name made Dela smile wide, and she pressed a kiss into the top of Jinkx’s head. “Goodnight baby. Get home safe.”_ _ _ _

____“You too!” Jinkx chimed. Before Dela could step away, she grabbed at her, pulling her in for one last kiss. She pulled all of her attention to the feeling of Dela’s lips on hers, warm and soft, delicate yet strong, exchanging all the care and joy their words couldn’t express. The kiss was far too short, as it always would be, and they pulled away. “Thank you.”_ _ _ _

____“For what?”_ _ _ _

____Jinkx’s fingers lingered on Dela’s arms. “You know what for.”_ _ _ _

____Dela smiled. “And thank you, too.”_ _ _ _

____Jinkx let her arms slide down and away from Dela, hands finding her car’s doorhandle. “Goodnight.”_ _ _ _

____“Goodnight.” Their eyes lingered on each other for only a moment before Dela turned and began to head for her car. Jinkx pulled the turquoise door open, familiar clunk of it settling in her chest, scent of her car (stale weed, ancient strawberry air freshener failing to improve the air from the sad mildewy vents, faint echo of long-gone french fries, other miscellaneous car smell) dragging her consciousness further back into the cold loneliness of reality outside Dela. She dug the key into the ignition and the machine sputtered to life. Clicking her headlights on and leaning lightly against her black and white steering wheel cover, Jinkx watched Dela walk away, just as she had hours earlier when they had first concocted their rebellious plan. Her hair bounced and hips swung just as perfectly, and a feeling of deep affection rose in her chest again. She wanted to be enveloped in Dela’s world all the time, for all her life. What had her life even been before she had known her? What had her life even been before today? Well, it was far past midnight, so yesterday, she supposed. But truly, Jinkx didn’t know how she had lived before Dela’s care, how she had spent her time, what she had thought about. Now, all that mattered was her, and this new exchange of energy and trust they were reclaiming and creating for themselves. As Dela’s golden-lit silhouette disappeared behind the outline of a car, Jinkx smiled to herself. She trusted in the safety of another person, for the first time, and allowed this profound reassurance to glow in her chest. She knew it would last far longer than just long enough to get her home. She was already excited to wake up tomorrow._ _ _ _


End file.
